Cold Hearts Ch 8 Hate You So
A/N: I don't own Death Note.
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As the vile, looming shades of the army of Evil converged all around them Light the Ninja Warrior hollered to his faithful Shinigami companion "Quick Rem! Pass me my sword!" But Rem was nowhere to be found and then Light remembered he had given his sword away. "Where's my magic sword?"
"I don't know, Light where IS your magic sword?"
Light jolted awake at the sound of L's amused voice.
"Wha-?" Light blinked confusedly against the brightness of the fluorescent lights and white walls-he was in a hospital from the look of it-yes, his senses were assaulted by the hospital smells on top of his own breath which tasted of rot. Light realized to his shame that he must look like hell-he hadn't been allowed basic hygiene for over a week.
"You were talking in your sleep, Light-kun." L pointed out needlessly. "A magic sword, huh?"
L pondered that perhaps THAT was that what the Shinigami weapon was? But that would be rather hard to conceal though, wouldn't it? They had already determined that the fiber Light had provided was some kind of paper which contained elements not of this earth. It must have been that unknown element that made it deadly because in any case a paper sword, hell a paper weapon of any kind didn't sound very threatening... unless it was death by a hundred paper cuts. But for that matter how could paper produce heart attacks? I really need to see this weapon for myself and in order to do that I need to win Light Yagami's trust.
"What?" Light muttered defensively, his voice still groggy with sleep. "Magic swords are cool."
Light blinked, disoriented, when he saw L looming above him. L had started out crouching in the chair at Light's bedside but had essentially crawled into the bed with Light when the teen began muttering in his sleep. But Light now had the disturbing image in his head (that was also confusing, his stomach began to tie in knots) of the dark penetrating orbs of the detective's eyes scrutinized him as he slept, his thumb pressed against his soft lips... Light paled as he remembered the feeling of L's soft lips against his...
Oh shit! Light stared up at where L remained invading his personal space and Light's breath came faster. That wasn't real, was it? That couldn't be-! But Light knew by the slight smirk on L's face that it was. Why did I...? How could I...? I'm not-! Light suddenly felt very exposed in just the papery hospital gown under L's all-seeing stare; L, his captor, who was far too close for comfort. Light wondered idly if it was possible to die of humiliation. He won't try anything. Light reassured himself. Not with Rem here.
The Shinigami stood there, mutely watching them across the room, a stern expression on her face.
"Light-kun, how are you feeling?"
"I-"Light was suddenly hit by a wave of nausea L just barely gave him the trashcan in time.
L had been expecting that-he knew the after-effects of the drugs were not pleasant. "Are you alright, Light-kun?"
"Does it... look... like I'm alright?" Light grumbled between bouts of horrific dry heaving.
"I'm sorry," the detective said quietly.
Light glanced up from wiping his mouth on his sleeve, a surprised and incredulous expression on his face. "You're... sorry?"
"Very sorry," the detective insisted. Light noted how he wouldn't even look at him when he said the words.
Light took in a calming breath. Things happened just as I expected they would happen when I came forward with this information. (Well, except for that last part where I KISSED him! What the HELL was I...? No, that couldn't have happened! It had to have been a dream... But then why did I DREAM it?)
I expected they wouldn't believe me and it was inevitable that I would become a suspect. It's just that I thought that L would figure it out sooner. (If only he did! My father...)
Light sighed again. L isn't God. I guess I'm just upset that he doesn't live up to the image I somehow had of him. The world is far from perfect and reality does not always live up to one's expectation. L is rude, stubborn, selfish, and arrogant but he's not a bad person. He was only trying to do the right thing.
"I'm sorry..." He apologized. I never really expected L to apologize. It never even occurred to me that L might make a mistake. In any case it's over and done with and it's utterly pointless getting mad about it now...
"Alright," said Light as he began to struggle his way out of the bed.
"What?" L whirled around and was staring at him like he was some kind of alien lifeform.
"I accept your apology. Now let's catch Kira!"
L continued to stare. Light fidgeted, uncomfortably. "Light-kun..." the detective began and stopped again. L was very hard to read but his posture was... different from the way he was in the cell. He seemed weighed down, perhaps with something akin to guilt. "You are the most repressed person I've ever met."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
The detective sighed. "The doctor's said you shouldn't strain yourself but I suppose there's something you should know. Your father is down the hall."
My father... he's still alive? You LIED to me about...
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Light shouted as he put his fist in L's face. Though Light was still weak from his ordeal he still managed to put enough force behind it to send the detective sprawling. Under any other circumstance L would have given him an answering foot in the face. However at the moment L didn't dare retaliate because 1) Light's body was still weakened and he could do him serious harm 2) if he hurt Light then Rem would murder him 3) maybe, just maybe, he deserved that...
"That hurt." L grumbled but at the same time he was astounded that he had finally gotten a reaction like this. He was beginning to think that Light's politeness knew no limits. L rubbed his sore jaw and winced at Rem's glare. Oh yes, operation "make Light happy" was off to a terrific start...
Meanwhile Light had already managed to stagger his way down the hospital hallway, using his moveable IV stand and the wall for support. Every step was sheer agony-his muscles were screaming at him from lack of use-but he kept going out of sheer stubbornness while Rem hovered anxiously behind him.
"Light, are you all right?"
The teen glanced behind him and noticed how worried Rem looked. "Yeah, I'm fine or rather, I will be. Don't worry about it." The ever perceptive Shinigami detected the sullen note in Light's voice.
"Light, what's the matter? You know you can tell me anything."
Light sighed I'm not "repressed"! "It's just L. He's infuriating! I mean, how could he? How could he lie about my father? How-? The... asshole! It makes me want to scream. I just... I HATE that guy!"
"You do?"The Shinigami asked in obvious confusion.
Do I? "Of course I do! He's a lying, manipulative, egotistical, selfish, stubborn bastard! ...WHAT?" Light demanded when he saw the way that Rem was staring at him.
"But, it's just... you kissed him."
Light stopped in stunned silence. Shit. That WAS real? He unconsciously lifted his hand to his lips.
"But if he is upsetting you and you want me to kill him..." Rem offered.
"NO! " Light shouted with such ferocity it startled the Shinigami. The teen seemed embarrassed by his own outburst. He composed himself and continued in an even tone "I mean... no, that's not necessary, Rem."
"I see."
Light eyed his friend warily as he hastily explained "Just because I can't stand the guy doesn't mean I want him dead! He's an amazing detective-the BEST. I need to work with him to catch Kira. Don't you see if we don't it would all be for nothing."
"Yes, I didn't think you'd want me to."
Light looked at the Shinigami in disbelief. "Then why did you even say it?"
"Because you don't hate him."
Uh, yeah. I'm pretty sure I do..."Oh really? What makes you say that?"
"If you truly hated him you wouldn't trust in him like this or value his opinion. You wouldn't even want to be around him after what he's done."
The teen paused in his labored steps, leaning against the wall for support; an utterly mystified expression crept across his face. Rem was right. His reaction was strange. (She had noticed his reaction was strange and if she noticed than L was sure to have noticed... Had he just put more suspicion back on himself by acting this way?) Even after L locked him up, lied to him about his father (betrayed him like that) he was still looking forward to working with L-but that was just because he wanted to catch Kira! And... L is interesting. He only met the detective twice in person though he had long admired his work and the man, even with all his faults, was admirable too...
"You don't hate him. You like him and that's why it hurts."
Light again covered his mouth with his hand, this time as if to try and stop the giggles that were bubbling up from deep within his throat. He began to laugh, a disturbing sound that was very fake, very loud, and very Light-it nearly covered up another sound the teen was making that sounded suspiciously like sobbing.
"Ah Rem," Light chided between bouts of "giggling," "I guess you still don't understand human beings!" The teen declared as he resumed his pained journey down the hall.
"I suppose," Rem conceded and simply resumed watching her charge in mute silence.
"...and it didn't mean anything..." Light huffed indignantly, more to himself than to his audience. "...I was under the influence of L's rolfies, that's all!"
"That's a rather tasteless comparison, Light-kun. I did nothing of the sort to you," said L.
"Oh God!" Light groaned. Rem helped steady Light and kept him from stumbling as he again leaned against the wall for support.
Just how long was L following us, listening in?
Light slowly turned around to see the detective walking towards him, wheeling a wheelchair.
"Why are you following me?"
"I only wish to assure your safety, Light-kun. You really shouldn't strain yourself so soon."
"And whose fault is that?"
"It will be yours if you don't follow the doctor's instructions. You're not proving anything by hurting yourself. Now if Light-kun would be so kind as to get in the damned chair, then I'll take you to your father."
"I've had enough sitting for a while, thank you," Light replied archly.
"I'm afraid I must insist. Light-kun must realize he's an important witness to this investigation. I must not allow you to come to harm and I need to monitor you for your safety. I bought this hospital for that purpose."
Light stared. He bought the hospital? Seriously?
"You are in my protective custody. I have chosen to end your confinement on the good faith that you will tell me what I need to know and turn over Kira's weapon."
Light gritted his teeth. "You know I can't do that!"
L narrowed his eyes and stated coldly "I no longer consider you a suspect though you are obstructing my investigation by withholding crucial information. If I wanted to I could continue your confinement on those grounds alone."
"Of course I'll assist with this investigation in whatever way I can but I can't in good conscience turn over the weapon!"
"You see, Light-kun I cannot in good conscious unleash someone who owns such a weapon out into the world."
"Protective custody my ass! I'm still a prisoner! The only difference is I'm not tied to a chair," Light grumbled glumly. "Unbelievable! You know, for a moment there, I thought you might have changed into a decent human being. But no, you're still an arrogant prick!"
"You can view me however you like. But do know that I never meant to mislead you about your father. They just told me he had a heart attack. Naturally I assumed- I'm sorry. I understand why you must hate me."
Light felt a twinge of guilt. "It's... it's okay. L I-I don't hate you."
The detective stared with his usual poker face. "That's good Light-kun because I don't hate you too."
The teen reluctantly staggered his way over to sit in the wheelchair.
"Fine! Take me then!" Light commanded imperiously to cover his embarrassment.
The detective's smirking didn't go unnoticed by Light.
What the hell is that about?
To Light's annoyance L didn't begin pushing the chair right away but instead paused to fish something out of the pocket of his jeans.
"Care for a lollipop?"
Light raised an eyebrow at the offered treat. It was oversized, hot pink, and heart-shaped.
"You must be hungry and I hear that hospital food is atrocious."
Does he mean anything by it? Is he making some sort of symbolic statement with this offer? Or is it just a lollipop? Am I over-thinking this? Maybe it was just a matter of the candy leftover from Valentine's Day was on sale. No, someone with L's power and resources-he can get anything he wants...
Light analyzed that statement again and found himself growing hotter. Of course Light had just finished convincing himself he didn't really have those feelings and even if he did L would never return them... And sure, he liked and admired the detective but he didn't like him that way. At least he was pretty sure he didn't...
Kissing under the influence doesn't count!
Light didn't even like sweets but hidden meanings aside, now that Light had gotten over his nausea, he was too hungry to care.
"Thanks." Light accepted L's candy and L began pushing the wheelchair. "You know... I know we've got off to a bad start but maybe we could still be friends?" Light hated how an almost pleading note had entered his voice.
"A friend.." the detective considered. "You know, I've never had a friend before..." the detective began as he wheeled Light down the hallway. Rem spread her pale batwings and flapped along behind them.
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A/N: In canon during the Yotsuba arc Light forgives L awfully fast, all things considered and is quite thrilled about the prospect of working with L. This leads me to two conclusions 1) Light really likes L, at least when he's innocent. 2) He's got some major issues even when he's not, you know, killing people.
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