The West Wing/Andrea Wyatt/Prompt #4/Insides
Title: Elegant Simplicity.
Fandom: West Wing.
Characters: Andy, Ellie.
Prompt:#4 Insides.
Word Count:1300
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers/Author's Notes: Set roundabout Noel, without reference to it. Makes a huge nod to the episode "Ellie" however. This one is for raedbard who brings the Ellie love, and for all of my wonderful flist who fill my heart on this, my day of jubilee. And every other day besides.
ELEGANT SIMPLICITY
It has never been her favorite time of year. She finds the enforced gaiety harsh, almost abrasive; as garish as the decorations with which some people adorn the exterior of their houses. She concedes only to the tradition of the tree, and that mostly for its scent. Not for her the usual gaudy lights, artificial pink, migraine-inducing flashing. Instead there is candlelight, slim cream slivers of wax, smooth in contrast to the jagged pine needles, elegant simplicity.
She wishes she were standing in front of her own tree right now, in the peace and tranquility of her own home, instead of here. This tree, like the others throughout the building, is at least tastefully decorated, although the sheer size gives an air of excess; another symbol of the season she dislikes. She reflects that, in all fairness, a less substantial tree would probably look ridiculous given the space it is required to fill; dense greenery forming a seemingly impenetrable facade.
Her sense of duty preys on her finally, and she turns on her heel to rejoin the others.
"Don't go."
She turns round, startled by the voice which cuts through the stillness of the empty room, then tentatively steps towards the tree. She gently parts the branches beside her and looks down at the figure huddled into the corner.
"Hey."
"Hi."
"You okay?"
"Yeah. I just...you know..." she tips her head in a vague gesture to the outside world.
"You're going to have learn to deal with all this at some point, you know." The admonition in her words is softened by her actions as she squeezes past the thick branches and crouches down.
"Why?"
"You're a bright girl and that's a stupid question."
"He just...he never asked us. Never said...he can't have it all ways. Parade us at things like this, then go crazy when we try to be normal."
"We've been through this. It's just one evening; it won't kill you." She props her chin on her hand, elbow dug into her knee, long limbs contracting into the tiny space.
"There's always "just one evening" isn't there? How many times has Mom said that...how many times have you said it..."
"That's the dance. It comes with the territory."
"It isn't my territory! That's my point! Mine is college, where my work is just what it is, there's no need for all this crap, this fake pretence and show..."
"Life isn't always black and white the way you want it to be, Ellie."
"Why not? Why can't it be that straightforward? Why can't he just live his life and let me live mine? Why does it always have to dictate my every move? Zoë and Liz enjoy it, it's okay for them. They can deal with the attention and the people and...it doesn't stop them doing what they want to, or..or..."she falters, the emotion pushing against the wall she built long ago.
"It's not stopping you. You're at med school, didn't you want to do that?"
"I thought it would make him proud. Or that being another Dr Bartlett would.... level the playing field." she swallows back the threatening tears.
"It isn't a battle, Ellie. It doesn't have to be anyway. And those are two pretty lame reasons."
"That's easy for you to say, you're not - "
"I'm not what? Caught up in it?" she pushes, eyebrow raised in challenge.
"Forget it." she lifts her hands to her face, fingers pressed into her eyes, blocking out the world.
"He loves you Ellie. It may be different to the way he loves Zoë or Liz, but it's still love. It's just more complex.” She waits a moment, hoping for a sign that she’s getting through. Ellie sits, tight and coiled, turning ever inward. Andy sighs softly, lifting a hand to caress the curly red hair.
“What’s going on, El?” she continues stroking, trying to soothe. “What’s brought this on today, why now?”
Ellie shakes her head a fraction, refusing entry.
“You keep doing this. I can’t help if you won’t let me,” she pushes again. Ellie drops her hands, wrapping them around her knees, pulling them tight to her chest, but keeps her eyes fixed on the floor.
Andy eases herself onto the cold floor, pressed against Ellie in the cramped space, gentle hand continually working the slow release. She feels Ellie lean into her slightly, the chill from the younger girl’s body seeping through. She slips her warm fingers over the cold hand, thumb brushing the prominent knuckles, hands working in unison.
“We were doing photos…Zoë and I. I was really making an effort, you know? They wanted one of us with Dad. He stood between us, putting an arm around our shoulders. “Between the beauty and the brains” he said. "Doesn’t take a genius to work out which was which.”
Andy looks at her for a moment, than pulls her into her arms. “Oh sweetheart.” She holds on tight, cursing Jed for his thoughtless remark. She rocks gently, waiting for the tidal wave of emotion to spill over, yet it doesn’t come. She tips Ellie’s chin upwards with a soft hand, needing to see the dark brown eyes to read her. The dejection she sees there breaks her heart and she would give anything right now to mend the dark hurt. Ellie smiles weakly at her.
“I know…he probably didn’t mean it the way it sounded…it just…” she exhales slowly, pushing her hurt away, presses her cheek to the palm of Andy’s hand. “ I just…I just wish I didn’t need his approval is all. I wish it didn’t matter so much.”
“We all seek approval; try to make other people happy.”
“Do I make you happy?” Ellie asks quietly.
“I am happy. You make me content.” She grazes Ellie’s forehead with her lips then draws gently back. “I’m glad my happiness is the object. That making me happy is why you’re in this.”
“Why wouldn’t it be? Why else would…”
Andy looks at her evenly and waits for the admission.
“He’d be furious. And yes, he would probably think I’d done it purely to make him unhappy. But that’s how he interprets my actions, and, for once, that isn’t my fault. But that’s not my motivation. Did you really think it was?”
“Not for a moment. I just wanted to know that you knew.” She pulls Ellie back against her, wrapping her arms tight around her.
“I do know. I know that I don’t care how snatched our moments are from all of this, as long as they exist. I know that you make me feel like a person in my own right.” She releases herself from the embrace, touches a tendril of hair framing Andy’s face, tracing its length along her shoulder and down the bare arm, before reaching the warm hand, which she lifts to her lips. “And I’m sorry…about this stuff. I’m sorry that I need…” She drops a kiss on the palm of Andy’s hand, closing her eyes.
“Everybody wants to be loved,” Andy says quietly.
Ellie’s eyes flutter open. “You make me feel loved,” she whispers, leaning forward to softly kiss her. Andy smiles and returns the kiss. Ellie brings her hand up to Andy’s face, fans her fingertips across Andy’s cheek, porcelain skin under slim fingers, runs her thumb along the jaw. She kisses her again, harder and deeper, feeling the bones move underneath her fingertips, as Andy’s mouth opens to accommodate Ellie’s tongue, feeling her own bones underneath Andy’s fingers tracing over her face. They continue to kiss, each seeking out the other, and it is breathless and taste and heat, until they find themselves, when it softens, becoming touch and sense and care, until they finally gently draw away from one another.
“You are,” Andy whispers.
Fandom: West Wing.
Characters: Andy, Ellie.
Prompt:#4 Insides.
Word Count:1300
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers/Author's Notes: Set roundabout Noel, without reference to it. Makes a huge nod to the episode "Ellie" however. This one is for raedbard who brings the Ellie love, and for all of my wonderful flist who fill my heart on this, my day of jubilee. And every other day besides.
ELEGANT SIMPLICITY
It has never been her favorite time of year. She finds the enforced gaiety harsh, almost abrasive; as garish as the decorations with which some people adorn the exterior of their houses. She concedes only to the tradition of the tree, and that mostly for its scent. Not for her the usual gaudy lights, artificial pink, migraine-inducing flashing. Instead there is candlelight, slim cream slivers of wax, smooth in contrast to the jagged pine needles, elegant simplicity.
She wishes she were standing in front of her own tree right now, in the peace and tranquility of her own home, instead of here. This tree, like the others throughout the building, is at least tastefully decorated, although the sheer size gives an air of excess; another symbol of the season she dislikes. She reflects that, in all fairness, a less substantial tree would probably look ridiculous given the space it is required to fill; dense greenery forming a seemingly impenetrable facade.
Her sense of duty preys on her finally, and she turns on her heel to rejoin the others.
"Don't go."
She turns round, startled by the voice which cuts through the stillness of the empty room, then tentatively steps towards the tree. She gently parts the branches beside her and looks down at the figure huddled into the corner.
"Hey."
"Hi."
"You okay?"
"Yeah. I just...you know..." she tips her head in a vague gesture to the outside world.
"You're going to have learn to deal with all this at some point, you know." The admonition in her words is softened by her actions as she squeezes past the thick branches and crouches down.
"Why?"
"You're a bright girl and that's a stupid question."
"He just...he never asked us. Never said...he can't have it all ways. Parade us at things like this, then go crazy when we try to be normal."
"We've been through this. It's just one evening; it won't kill you." She props her chin on her hand, elbow dug into her knee, long limbs contracting into the tiny space.
"There's always "just one evening" isn't there? How many times has Mom said that...how many times have you said it..."
"That's the dance. It comes with the territory."
"It isn't my territory! That's my point! Mine is college, where my work is just what it is, there's no need for all this crap, this fake pretence and show..."
"Life isn't always black and white the way you want it to be, Ellie."
"Why not? Why can't it be that straightforward? Why can't he just live his life and let me live mine? Why does it always have to dictate my every move? Zoë and Liz enjoy it, it's okay for them. They can deal with the attention and the people and...it doesn't stop them doing what they want to, or..or..."she falters, the emotion pushing against the wall she built long ago.
"It's not stopping you. You're at med school, didn't you want to do that?"
"I thought it would make him proud. Or that being another Dr Bartlett would.... level the playing field." she swallows back the threatening tears.
"It isn't a battle, Ellie. It doesn't have to be anyway. And those are two pretty lame reasons."
"That's easy for you to say, you're not - "
"I'm not what? Caught up in it?" she pushes, eyebrow raised in challenge.
"Forget it." she lifts her hands to her face, fingers pressed into her eyes, blocking out the world.
"He loves you Ellie. It may be different to the way he loves Zoë or Liz, but it's still love. It's just more complex.” She waits a moment, hoping for a sign that she’s getting through. Ellie sits, tight and coiled, turning ever inward. Andy sighs softly, lifting a hand to caress the curly red hair.
“What’s going on, El?” she continues stroking, trying to soothe. “What’s brought this on today, why now?”
Ellie shakes her head a fraction, refusing entry.
“You keep doing this. I can’t help if you won’t let me,” she pushes again. Ellie drops her hands, wrapping them around her knees, pulling them tight to her chest, but keeps her eyes fixed on the floor.
Andy eases herself onto the cold floor, pressed against Ellie in the cramped space, gentle hand continually working the slow release. She feels Ellie lean into her slightly, the chill from the younger girl’s body seeping through. She slips her warm fingers over the cold hand, thumb brushing the prominent knuckles, hands working in unison.
“We were doing photos…Zoë and I. I was really making an effort, you know? They wanted one of us with Dad. He stood between us, putting an arm around our shoulders. “Between the beauty and the brains” he said. "Doesn’t take a genius to work out which was which.”
Andy looks at her for a moment, than pulls her into her arms. “Oh sweetheart.” She holds on tight, cursing Jed for his thoughtless remark. She rocks gently, waiting for the tidal wave of emotion to spill over, yet it doesn’t come. She tips Ellie’s chin upwards with a soft hand, needing to see the dark brown eyes to read her. The dejection she sees there breaks her heart and she would give anything right now to mend the dark hurt. Ellie smiles weakly at her.
“I know…he probably didn’t mean it the way it sounded…it just…” she exhales slowly, pushing her hurt away, presses her cheek to the palm of Andy’s hand. “ I just…I just wish I didn’t need his approval is all. I wish it didn’t matter so much.”
“We all seek approval; try to make other people happy.”
“Do I make you happy?” Ellie asks quietly.
“I am happy. You make me content.” She grazes Ellie’s forehead with her lips then draws gently back. “I’m glad my happiness is the object. That making me happy is why you’re in this.”
“Why wouldn’t it be? Why else would…”
Andy looks at her evenly and waits for the admission.
“He’d be furious. And yes, he would probably think I’d done it purely to make him unhappy. But that’s how he interprets my actions, and, for once, that isn’t my fault. But that’s not my motivation. Did you really think it was?”
“Not for a moment. I just wanted to know that you knew.” She pulls Ellie back against her, wrapping her arms tight around her.
“I do know. I know that I don’t care how snatched our moments are from all of this, as long as they exist. I know that you make me feel like a person in my own right.” She releases herself from the embrace, touches a tendril of hair framing Andy’s face, tracing its length along her shoulder and down the bare arm, before reaching the warm hand, which she lifts to her lips. “And I’m sorry…about this stuff. I’m sorry that I need…” She drops a kiss on the palm of Andy’s hand, closing her eyes.
“Everybody wants to be loved,” Andy says quietly.
Ellie’s eyes flutter open. “You make me feel loved,” she whispers, leaning forward to softly kiss her. Andy smiles and returns the kiss. Ellie brings her hand up to Andy’s face, fans her fingertips across Andy’s cheek, porcelain skin under slim fingers, runs her thumb along the jaw. She kisses her again, harder and deeper, feeling the bones move underneath her fingertips, as Andy’s mouth opens to accommodate Ellie’s tongue, feeling her own bones underneath Andy’s fingers tracing over her face. They continue to kiss, each seeking out the other, and it is breathless and taste and heat, until they find themselves, when it softens, becoming touch and sense and care, until they finally gently draw away from one another.
“You are,” Andy whispers.