Fic: A Secret Relationship Unlike Any Other 2/3
A Secret Relationship Unlike Any Other
Another Unexpected Turn
A/N: Just to let everyone know, this is the next part in the story, but, unfortunately, it is not nearly as funny. I kept it a little humorous in the beginning, but you guys wanted Faberry, and that means I have to get rid of Finn. And, sadly, Rachel needs his vocals for nationals, so I couldn’t kill him off. So it gets sad. It’s just a pretty drastic style change from the previous chapter, so…sorry about that. But the next chapter (the final part) will be guaranteed angst free?
Chap 1
She didn’t know how this happened.
She may not have won Prom Queen, but life had been going pretty great lately. She was dating the Quarterback of the school football team, that had actual done very well for a change, the Cheerios had lost for the first time in a great many years just because she (and Brittany and Santana) had quit, and the team she was on and enjoyed being on was going to Nationals in New York City. Plus, her boyfriend, who could be a complete dolt, was actually treating her fantastic.
Even if it was because he was being controlled like a little puppet by the girl Quinn thought of as her greatest high school nemesis who was still in love with him.
And, while that might possibly be the weirdest thing that had ever and would ever happen in her life, she thought it was kind of okay.
Possibly because it had some pretty magnificent perks. Finn, who had forgotten she lived with him and left without her half the time when she was pregnant, had been picking her up and driving her to school each morning, even though she had her own car. He was even managing to get up early enough for them to either pick up breakfast on the way, buy her some specialty breakfast before getting her, or actually going to Denny’s before school.
Once, the boy had actually brought her a bacon-heavy breakfast in bed. She had wondered about the homecooked meal, as Finn definitely couldn’t cook and Quinn hadn’t seen Rachel, the vegan, crying about cooking any baby chicken or killing little piggies. Soothing her curiosity, though, she had seen the girl conspiring softly with a disgruntled looking Kurt, who was apparently her new best friend, as they touted around cookware.
Quinn couldn’t imagine what she had told the boy in order to get his cooperation and his silence.
But it didn’t stop there. Ever since she had embraced the crazy, accepting some seriously strange Lion King calendar with her face during a bad hair day pasted over Simba’s (seriously, she was late once!), things have been even more amazing. Finn somehow managed to get a hall pass that allows him to walk her to every single class. He never gets jealous when she hangs out with Sam, as friends, and even lets Sam borrow the pass to walk her to class sometime. And, on those days when the constant Finn causes her claustrophobia to act up, he knows just when to back up and give her some space.
He (Rachel) even arranged for a once-a-week “Me Time” session at the local spa, complete with vouchers that allowed her to bring friends or family sometimes. In fact, the big lug-head (once again, Rachel) had even arranged a “Mommy-and-Teen” special circumstance setup and the two had really bonded. She didn’t really want to go into it, but, while she was getting a massage, her mother had a random crazy happenstance meet-up with “that tiny brunette with the big voice” and, soon enough, somehow her and her Mom were crying.
Which didn’t happen in this family. Normal Fabray protocol was hold it in and turn it off. It was part of the reason she was so convinced that she was going to be a Stepford Wife one day, just like her Mom had been. But the two of them had actually cried together and talked to each other, openly and honestly, for the first time in who knows how long. Her Mom had since started going to AA and the two were having weekly Sunday brunches after they would go to their newer, more liberal Church. Neither of them were completely sure of the Church, but it was a lot less judgmental and, at the very least, was different than the one Quinn’s Father still frequented (the hypocrite).
All she knew was that these changes, and Quinn was generally against changes, were very positive and mostly due to Finn (sigh, Rachel). Even her Mom knew. The last after-Church brunch, and Finn came to both, she had actually thanked the boy, who had just smiled and nodded. Times like that, when Finn so easily took credit for these things, Quinn remembered that she is not dating the real Finn. And she’s happy that she’s dating the weird Finchel hybrid.
Yeah, it would be less weird if she was just dating Finn in a completely normal, heterosexual way (and Quinn is still 100% heterosexual for sure), but sometimes Finn opens his mouth and complete nonsense escapes Rachel Berry’s orders and she remembers why this situation is better than just Finn. Even mixed with some of that extra special brand of Berry Craziness.
Seriously, the girl (hiding behind the boy) had included Karaoke at the Quinn Fabray All-Day Birthday Extravaganza. Yeah, it was a small part of the Birthday Carnival Rachel had thrown and was completely voluntary, so it wasn’t a big deal, but still. Just because she was in Glee, didn’t mean she would want karaoke at her Birthday Event (she had loved it and its collection of music from the 60s).
Still, it was awesome the way she connived with Puck to cause flooding in the school to give them, and the rest of the school, the day of to “frolic to their hearts’ content.” And the fireworks at the end of the night were pretty great too. That girl was insane.
But it had worked out so well for her.
And, now, Finn was ruining everything!
Finn had broken up with her. At a funeral.
She had finally finished fixing up her make-up in the restroom, trying to avoid looking over at Rachel who was doing the same (she failed and they had another weird staring session that sometimes ended up happening). It had been so heartbreaking. Of course, she had never met Coach Sylvester’s sister, but, for better or worse, Sylvester had been a big part of her life. She thought the women was downright certifiable, the definition of evil, and to see her up there, broken and unable to read her own words, made her seem so human.
It was…she wondered if that was how people like Rachel saw her, some crazy, evil harpy bent on ruining her life for the hell of it. She knew the thought was crazy, at least concerning Rachel since, out of everyone, Rachel had seen her mask break a little, like at Prom, but the thought plagued her. It made her think of her future. She kept up a good façade, keeping people at a distance, but she didn’t want…
It was probably her greatest fear, and something she saw as an inevitability, that she would end up just like all the adults around her that saw her in them. Who recognized her for the failure she swas.
She didn’t want to grow up alone and angry, still living the life of a high school bully, using the success of others to feel better about herself. She didn’t want to be Sue Sylvester.
She didn’t want peak at high school and marry her high school sweetheart, who she did care deeply about, just to watch as he drifted away, until her own fears and insecurities ruined them. She didn’t want to be Terri Schuester.
She didn’t want to try and be perfect, marry the person her parents approved of and spending her adult life still just trying to be the perfect daughter and the perfect wife, even at the expense of her own wants and needs. She didn’t want to be her mother.
So, yeah, she had needed a little time to compose herself. She was so twisted about the whole Finn thing, to be honest. She knew he was only so great lately because of Rachel, and Rachel wouldn’t always be around, but, at the same time, he was willing to let his ex-girlfriend pull and tug at his strings just to keep her happy. That meant a lot. And maybe she didn’t want her mother’s future, but she would rather be her mom than Sylvester. And Finn would never be like her Dad, so controlling and unrelenting. It wasn’t in his nature.
But, apparently, Finn had enough. She had finally complimented him on something that, she was pretty sure, was actually him for a change (and it might show that they had a problem when she had trouble distinguishing which actions actually came from Finn). And he broke up with her.
Right there, in the car. She thought he was being so chivalrous in driving her, but now…why couldn’t he have waited, even a day.
And as he broke up with her, Quinn’s first thought wasn’t about the loss of status or his kisses or anything like that, it was-
“Because of Rachel?” she asked, still shell-shocked, “Because you still love her?” She pulled her hand away from the boy.
It was something she had been worried about for a while. Part of her figured that, since Finn was on the giving end instead of the receiving, he would eventually tire of being ordered around and putting in so much effort. He would either get mad at Rachel for being such a “controllist” or he would want to be the Quinn in the situation and have the other girl back to adoring him. Leaving Quinn in the cold.
She couldn’t let that happened. The only reason she hadn’t stopped the Finchel friendship dynamic a while ago was because of all the perks she got. She had been so relieved that, apparently, Rachel was choosing to reject St. Beiber and stay single, the boy was anything but subtle in his attempts to win Rachel over, because she had been so powerless in that situation.
It wasn’t like she could seduce Jesse away, at least not while keeping Finn and staying on Rachel’s good side.
But, this she could handle. She had to. Finn could not break up with her. She could not let Finn and Rachel get back together and leave her in the cold. She would not lose Rachel.
She listened to the boy sputter excuses, not even making any real sense.
“I shouldn’t have done this with you,” he said, not apologizing for the timing or the situation, “I thought that I could fix everything from last year, but I- I can’t. I just can’t and that feeling that Sue was talking about in there, about being tethered to someone, I - I just - I don’t feel that way about you.”
And, of course, perfect golden boy Finn, had to make it out that he failed in some noble deed. He wasn’t trying to fix anything. Nothing had been broken. Fixing would have been the two of them talking, both giving apologies, admittedly more from her end, and becoming friends. Clearing the air.
He had wanted her because she was popular and pretty and was the only one not lining up to kiss up to him. She had dated him. He wasn’t that impressive. But he was also so comforting and malleable, the golden boy that got away because of her mistakes. Finn convinced her that he loved her, enough to forgive her for cheating on him and lying to him, and convinced her to become the cheater again, once again with her boyfriend’s best friend. She had strayed because the boy wanted her over Rachel and had, almost immediately regretted it. But she pretended she didn’t pasted a smile on and went with it, even as Sam dumped her and Finn wanted to hide her. She had only cheated because she thought he already felt that way, connected or tethered or whatever.
And even if she didn’t and he didn’t, that would grow. It doesn’t just exist, unless you’re a moron who believes in love at first sight. That feeling comes with a relationship, it doesn’t mean you have to be in one. Her Mom had been going to AA meetings and talking with people, talking with her. She knew that her Mom, despite the betrayal and the oppression, still felt this way about her Dad, so did she, but that didn’t mean she should go back to him.
“But you do with her,” she asked, getting back to the conversation. It was the second time she had basically asked if he was leaving her because of Rachel, but she had to know. He still didn’t answer, but the way he looked down guiltily was enough.
She had to stop this. She couldn’t let Finn get back together with Rachel and leave her. She didn’t want either part of her weird relationship to leave her, never mind both. She was Quinn Fabray, she was supposed to be perfect, if she was okay with their weird almost-threesome dynamic, then couldn’t he be. Why did he have to ruin everything?
She took a deep breath, bottling everything, trying to get past her whirling emotions to make this work.
“No,” she started, grabbing another breath as she composed herself, “We’re not breaking up. I can handle your confusion with Rachel until you get over it. We’re gonna stay together and next year, we’ll be Prom King and Queen an-”
“Just stop it,” Finn interrupted, jarring her from the half-baked fantasy where some crazy campaign ideas from Rachel helped them win for sure and pulling the smile off her face. “’Kay. I don’t want that life.”
All those deep breaths she took escaped back out, like a balloon losing its air just as she lost hope. He wasn’t going to let it go. By the time she exited this car, she would have no one.
“Don’t you feel anything anymore?” he snapped at her, apparently angry that she wasn’t reacting to the break up in the manner he wanted. It brought her back to her earlier musing, watching as the women everyone thought was some psycho robot become human.
Of course she had feelings.
“This is real,” he continued, “This is happening.” And, like that, it was. For all she had thought, from the moment she had picked him out of all the boys in their grade, and again over Sam, she had never thought that he would be her Father.
But, here he was, yelling at her what she should be feeling, how she should be acting, even as he abandoned her.
She felt the tears escaping, trickling down her cheek.
“Are you happy now?” she asked calmly, sadly, knowing she had lost the battle with her emotions, “Is this me feeling enough for you?” The boy looked taken aback.
“Quinn, I’m sorry.” He said reaching out for her, “I still love you.”
“Just, just, don’t touch me,” she snarled. He didn’t apologize for how they got together or for keeping her a secret. He hadn’t ever, without Rachel, given her a sincere apology for ruining what should have been the greatest night of her life. He didn’t apologize for breaking up with her, at a funeral, and choosing another girl over her. He doesn’t get to apologize for finally voicing his opinion about her.
I still love you…bullshit. This is not how you treat someone you even care about, much less love. Fine, she couldn’t force him to love her or date her, but he could have at least had the decency to not break up with her on impulse! Think it over, tell her they need to talk so she could be prepared. Not blindsided with no way home.
She jumped out of the car and ran for the road. She had nowhere really to go. Her Mom was still at work and all of the Gleeks…she couldn’t them know she had been humiliated. As if any of them would care. Santana would laugh at her. Lauren and Puck, the father of her child who had also once told her he loved her, had proven they didn’t care with the whole Lucy Caboosey situation. Mercedes and her hadn’t had a conversation in forever, and, while the girl would probably help her, it would just seem like she was using her whenever there was a crisis. Sam didn’t have a car anyways, and Rachel…
One thing this entire thing taught her, the one major surprise, was that Rachel, somehow, truly seemed to know her. The other girl knew what she liked and how much craziness she could handle. Favorite foods, colors, flowers, shows, music. How she acted, thought, felt. Yet, despite all that, Quinn knew that Rachel had feeling for Finn; she cared about Finn and not her.
She would choose Finn. And Quinn would lose Rachel. And, to lose two people was rough, but knowing she was going to be abandoned by someone who knew her so well…it would basically prove that she was worth staying around for.
She couldn’t call Rachel. Finn would let her know what happened soon enough, she didn’t need to rush it.
So she was walking home. In her funeral clothes. Hoping nobody saw her.
Great.
Unfortunately, she didn’t walk far before a familiar looking car pulled up in front of her.
She tensed for a moment before she realized where she recognized the car; it was Mrs. Puckermans. She must have let Puck borrow it for the funeral instead of taking his beat-up truck.
Shit.
She stood there, unmoving, not wanting to approach the car. Maybe if she just stayed where she was, they would decide she wasn’t worth the effort. No luck.
The front passenger door opened and Rachel popped out, running towards her with a concerned look on her face, and Quinn sighed, wondering how long the look would last.
One look at Quinn’s face stopped Rachel in her tracks, and Quinn cursed at Rachel’s ability to see through her. The determined look appeared on the girl’s face.
“Quinn,” she said softly, as if talking to an easily spooked animal. Quinn had to admit that it was probably an apt metaphor. “Are you okay?”
Her eyes were big and full of concern for her. Quinn’s eyes sunk to the floor, hoping it would make her harder to read (and unable to look at those brown eyes).
“I’m fine,” she responded, quietly and with full control.
“Quinn,” Rachel spoke gently, and Quinn recognized it as a call of attention. She looked up at the suddenly close Rachel. Looked at those eyes. “It’s alright Quinn. I’m here. What happened?”
Quinn didn’t know if it was the eyes or the ways Rachel said her name, but the tiny crack Finn had made shattered and she turned away again, choking back a sob.
“He broke up with me,” she mumbled, raising a hand to wipe away at her leaking eyes, “Finn broke up with me after the funeral. He wants you. He always wanted you. Because he feels tethered to you and not me. Because you’re so great and gonna make it out of this shitty town and- and still feel things, unlike me apparently. I couldn’t stay there any longer. I had to get away from him.”
Rachel gaped at her, stunned. Unlike Finn, Quinn knew Rachel wasn’t shocked at the emotion, she had seen Quinn cry before, but apparently at the break-up. Which was a good thing. If Rachel had known and let it happen like that…
The other girl moved suddenly, reaching for her little purse to pull out a travel container of Kleenexes. Rachel started to hand it to her even as she, embarrassingly, leaned forward to the other girl. Rachel froze for a second, less than a second, before shifting her hand.
“Can I?” she asked, motioning towards her face, and it was like déjà vu. But Quinn liked the way Rachel always asked before touching, or got permission in some form, and didn’t mind. She didn’t know why the other girl did it, because she knew it wasn’t just with her, but appreciated it since Quinn herself was so touchy about people being grabby. She figured it had something to do with her claustrophobia.
But Rachel was so small and soft and gentle. It was different than when Puck was on top of her or Finn reached for her or even Sam dropping his arm of her shoulder. So she gave nod, closing her eyes as Rachel gently wiped away her tears. Again.
Why did this keep happening with her? Why was she always losing her cool? Why was Rachel alone the only one that seemed to make her feel better?
“I don’t know what’s going on, Quinn,” Rachel stated delicately, carefully maneuvering around her make-up, “but I know you didn’t deserve this. Finn can be…difficult sometimes, but you deserve so much more.”
Quinn sniffed, soaking in the words and the affection lacing them. Unable to help herself, she leaned into the other girl completely, hiding her face in Rachel’s neck. She felt Rachel hesitantly wrap her arms around her.
They just stood there silently for a moment before Quinn took the plunge. She couldn’t do it looking at her or in front of anyone, but cradled like this, somehow tucked comfortably into the other girl…
“I don’t want to lose…what’s been going on. With me, you, and Finn. I’ve…liked it.”
She felt Rachel freeze and worried.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she heard, and Quinn could admit that Rachel had a future in front of her on the stage. The denial made her want to pull away and run, instead she held tighter.
“I’m not stupid, okay? I’m not some idiot boy you can-” (trick and coerce into believing whatever lies you can spin), she stopped herself. She wouldn’t say that. She was getting defensive and when she got defensive she got mean (and apparently self-hating since that much more accurately describe her). She took another breath, not to hide or bottle anything up, but to calm down.
“I’m not stupid, but I’m not mad. I don’t care. I liked it, whatever it was. I don’t want to lose that. Finn left me and you’re going to run back into his arms and leave me behind,” she whispered into Rachel’s neck, losing control of the tears again by the end.
“It’s okay,” Rachel whispered frantically, “I’m not leaving. I’m here.” The smaller girl continued cooing at her, trying to reassure her, but Quinn couldn’t stop. Rachel said that now, acted like she cared, but Rachel was a good person. Rachel forgave Quinn, Finn, Jess…Kurt was her best friend now and this time last year he had been spitting insults and giving fake makeovers. When someone was in need, despite her general cut-throat appearance, Rachel had to help.
She may have sent that Sunny girl to a crackhouse, but if the transfer student had cried or expressed self-doubt, (especially one-on-one) Rachel wouldn’t have been able to control herself. She would end up reassuring and cheering for the girl, sharing her strength like always.
She didn’t know how long they stood for, Rachel whispering reassuring words in her ear as she cried, but soon enough Puck ran out of patience and started incessantly, and immaturely, beeping his horn.
Quinn finally pulled away. Drained, she allowed Rachel to tenderly take her hand and pull her to the car. She didn’t understand how Rachel could be the loudest, most obnoxious girl around, pushing and shoving her way to the top, yet still be capable of such calm gentleness.
She remembered Rachel had come from the front and tried to loosen their grips as they approached the car, but Rachel was having none of that. She pulled the back door open to show Lauren and Sam, also apparently having rode with Puck.
“Lauren,” Rachel started primly, as if she hadn’t just spent twenty minutes comforting her high school nemesis and pulled her over, “You can have the front now.”
Lauren looked at her with confusion, which was nice since she had previously been staring at Quinn.
“I thought you said you had to sit in the front or you spewed all over the place,” the girl asked incredulously.
“I lied,” Rachel replied with a nonchalant shrug, apparently not afraid of the wrestler twice her size. Quinn felt the inane urge to jump in front of her, but ignored it, choosing only to tighten her hand. “Only because you ignored the social norm that is “shotgun.” If you play by the rules, I don’t bend them.”
With a glare, Lauren moved to the front seat where she was enthusiastically greeted by Puck. Ignoring Sam’s questioning glance, thankfully he knew when to keep his mouth shut, the two slid into the backseat. Quinn wasn’t sure what the protocol was, but allowed herself to lean into Rachel, snuggling against her.
And when Puck first stopped at Rachel’s house, she allowed herself to be pulled out of the car, grateful that she wouldn’t be left to the curious piranhas.
She let the girl get her settled in, changing into the offered sweat pants and t-shirt that were much to big (probably belonging to one of her fathers) and settling in on the couch. She accepted the hot chocolate, made with marshmallows and soymilk, as Rachel adjusted the pillows and blankets around them.
The television and stereo stayed off as they looked at each other.
Apparently, they were going to talk.
A/N: Like I said, sorry it wasn’t laugh central. But next is the ending that covers things beginning to end from Rachel’s side and it is a guaranteed happy ending.