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Alone again ( Read more... )

I feel like I'm breaking again. I have no one to turn to, but just maybe one thing to turn to. Keeping the thoughts away is getting much harder now. I can't escape not from the day and not from the night. I'm living this nightmare all over again. Get these thoughts gone.

I am over fucking all of this. The sooner he is gone the better off I will fucking be. I can't take these stupid fucking games no more. Fuck him. I can't believe I fucking got myself into this horrible situation. I love my baby, but I don't want to be just anouther statistic in the world. I guess I was wrong to think this would work out. I am just ( Read more... )

I think I feel more worse today than I have in the past two days. Wishing for this illness to go away. I need someone terribly to come cuddle with me and take this all away. It's nine o'clock I am headed back to bed. Sleep is the only thing that is comforting me, but not making me feel better.

Lately, I have been through what I believe hell in back. You might agree or you may not. I'm not the judge here. About three weeks I was hospitalized for overdosing on trazodone. Blood pressure dropped to high forty's over low thirty's. Needless to say I was close to death. I called the 911 because I was feeling myself die. Most of fucked up ( Read more... )

there is always something like giving up on the ones who you thought always cared.

It's all suffocatting me now. Don't lose grip. Just, please promise you'll hold me a little longer. Don't let the air run out now.

"I felt in odd mixture of dismay and excitement. The reason I was in the hospital was to avoid doing this. It had been explained to me that if I felt tempted, it was my responsibility to talk to one of the nurses. The trouble was, I knew this didn't help. Because I didn't really understand what I was doing. I couldn't talk about it. I couldn't get ( Read more... )

Fuck coping.
Ruining my life is so much easier.