If you're afraid of a fight then you deserve everything you get, because guess what, Rachel? It happens. It's supposed to happen. Fighting is normal. Fighting is healthy. It's how things get resolved. Did you and Jesse ever actually fight? Or did you just cry and kiss and cuddle and fuck and then go on like something had been accomplished?
You're right, it does suck for you that your pride got in the way. Actually, I wouldn't even say it was your pride that was the issue. It was your goddamn hormones. You want to treat your boyfriend like he's the most important thing in the world? Super. You want to put getting back together with him over promises you make to your friends? Mazel tov. You want to put a relationship with a boy over getting your life back together? You're a fucking idiot. Because he's not your life and should never be your life. Not at fifteen, idiot
( ... )
Re: Privaterberry_starDecember 13 2010, 07:03:07 UTC
Me and Jesse do fight. We have fought a lot. Not as much as we used to, but we have gotten into some bad fights. And yeah, a lot of the time after we fight and work it out it ends up in kisses because we have a rule to never go to bed angry with each other.
Jesse is not before me getting my life back together. But he is apart of it. I'm sorry I didn't fill my promise to you, it was not my intent to go back on my word.
Jesse never, ever comes before Kaylee. I just want to make sure you understand as important as he is, there are people... more. I would drop anything for Quinn and Kaylee. Anything. And Finn is my best friend, he also comes before most things.
I cared a LOT about everyone who was there. Jesse did not take priority. Me getting myself together did. And yes, I wanted him back. That happened... but we went into that evening knowing we were either going to be broken up for good, or fix it.
I'm not breaking away from him to please you. I'm trying to set up healthy boundaries in our relationship. He's making friends and I
( ... )
You don't get it, Rachel. You're fifteen. You act like he's the only thing you can see. Do you tell your therapist that? That you can't even handle being without him for a week? That he broke up with you to give you space but then fucked you, what, seven days later? No, that's not healthy, that's not normal, that's not romantic and passionate and loving, it's fucking sad and pathetic. How many times did it even happen? Because I'm willing to bet that it was more than the one time you told me about. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit, and it's one you didn't even try to break.
You might not think so, but you're a goddamn idiot for being with someone when you can't even take a fucking two week break from them when you need to. Until you understand that and realize that that's your issue while you have scars on your stomach, I can't do anything and I'm sure as hell not going to stand by and feel useless and ignored while you live in your little fantasy. I probably am good for you, but he's not. Not if you can't break out of his
( ... )
Re: Privaterberry_starDecember 14 2010, 06:16:01 UTC
Honestly...
it sounds like you're saying at this point the only way you would be friends with me would be if I leave Jesse. There is no way for you to believe me that he is not the center of my world. Even though I have said over and over he's not and I'm working hard to keep him from being like that again.
I get what you're saying Santana. We shouldn't have been as close those few weeks as we were. But I can't change what has happened in the past.
My beacon of life and all that is good in the world is Kaylee, not Jesse. She is the reason I had to get better, because I was not going to risk losing her.
And because I don't want to die or hurt or be in pain anymore. I'm tired of feeling that way. I want to be BETTER.
Comments 22
You're right, it does suck for you that your pride got in the way. Actually, I wouldn't even say it was your pride that was the issue. It was your goddamn hormones. You want to treat your boyfriend like he's the most important thing in the world? Super. You want to put getting back together with him over promises you make to your friends? Mazel tov. You want to put a relationship with a boy over getting your life back together? You're a fucking idiot. Because he's not your life and should never be your life. Not at fifteen, idiot ( ... )
Reply
Jesse is not before me getting my life back together. But he is apart of it. I'm sorry I didn't fill my promise to you, it was not my intent to go back on my word.
Jesse never, ever comes before Kaylee. I just want to make sure you understand as important as he is, there are people... more. I would drop anything for Quinn and Kaylee. Anything. And Finn is my best friend, he also comes before most things.
I cared a LOT about everyone who was there. Jesse did not take priority. Me getting myself together did. And yes, I wanted him back. That happened... but we went into that evening knowing we were either going to be broken up for good, or fix it.
I'm not breaking away from him to please you. I'm trying to set up healthy boundaries in our relationship. He's making friends and I ( ... )
Reply
You might not think so, but you're a goddamn idiot for being with someone when you can't even take a fucking two week break from them when you need to. Until you understand that and realize that that's your issue while you have scars on your stomach, I can't do anything and I'm sure as hell not going to stand by and feel useless and ignored while you live in your little fantasy. I probably am good for you, but he's not. Not if you can't break out of his ( ... )
Reply
it sounds like you're saying at this point the only way you would be friends with me would be if I leave Jesse. There is no way for you to believe me that he is not the center of my world. Even though I have said over and over he's not and I'm working hard to keep him from being like that again.
I get what you're saying Santana. We shouldn't have been as close those few weeks as we were. But I can't change what has happened in the past.
My beacon of life and all that is good in the world is Kaylee, not Jesse. She is the reason I had to get better, because I was not going to risk losing her.
And because I don't want to die or hurt or be in pain anymore. I'm tired of feeling that way. I want to be BETTER.
And I do feel better, most of the time.
Reply
Leave a comment