Comments | rayas_and_rees: (без темы)

sheankelor in rayas_and_rees

(Untitled)

Mar 06, 2007 08:10

Title: Secretly watching
Author: Ree
Theme: Post-season (Comb)
Genre: General
Version: Manga/Anime Crystal Tokyo
Rating: G

All the characters you know aren't mine.. well I borrowed them for just a small while, and without permission. Any that are mine, I hope you like them.

( Secretly watching )

march07, post season, chieko, kunzite

Comments 3

raya_light March 9 2007, 04:19:50 UTC

Memories of the long evening last night <-- What an odd phrase. Memories of the long night? Of the enjoyable evening and long night? You don't need to say it was last night. You already get the impression its morning...

AS he moved about the room, <-- I think it's obvious.

Heheh... Naughty Chieko, enjoying the view. Perfectly natural, yes I know, but still.

sheankelor March 11 2007, 03:55:21 UTC

I think I'll leave the obvious, it just flows better to me.. And yes she is enjoying the view.. she was supposed to be the one getting up and combing her hair etc.. until Kunzite changed the story on me.. so she insisted on at least that much.

raya_light March 11 2007, 21:25:07 UTC

Haha, the obvious was the AS instead of As...