More and more I needed Jordan, and we grew closer with everyday. I always thought that whatever I did in socal wouldn't haunt or follow me, that I could start anew with Jordan when I got back. That nothing would matter when I had him in my arms. The honest to God truth is, that I absolutely needed sex, I needed to be numb and to spin. I needed my ( Read more... )

Jordan and I broke up again tonight. It's not the first time and realisticly won't be the last. It's just that by now, after 7 1/2 months - three of which actually being with him in person- I'm noticing terrible corruptions within the both of us. To start, I am (for my own reading pleasure) going to recount the entirety of our relationship. In ( Read more... )

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Sinking- feeling.

I need to get out- I'm just doing more drugs to forget. I'm sick to death of trying to escape- I want to be back where life is precious and cherishable.

I miss my friends. I have alcohol instead to hold me now.

As I was going through my old journals I realized that allll I ever wanted was to star in a highschool musical- Ever since I was a kid, I was completely transfixed by performing art. Honestly- I thought that with my talent I would have gotten somewhere. I was always looking forward to an audition that scared the crap out of me but kept me living. ( Read more... )

May 6, 2006 8:30 PM Flag spam/abuse ( Read more... )

March 26, 06 3:23 pm ( Read more... )

March 2, 06 5:55pm ( Read more... )

oh no ( Read more... )