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[ravenousnight]

All of this retrospect has got my head spinning. I am to the point where rage takes precedent over any other emotion I could possibly have. It’s sort of unsatisfying, but then again, I should have never have been forced to go through this at all. Even if I did, in some way, affect the outcome of part 2 a., part 2 b. should have never become an

Comments

[daisysuzette]

Your last paragraph reminds me of this quote, "you can never fail if you never stop trying". Your troubles with what has happened with you will never get the best of you if you never stop until you're confident in the resolution that you find. And I'm confident that someday you will, because you are relentless and care about your spirit too much to let others get the best of you forever. Maybe temorairily, because you care deeply when you care about someone, but if they hurt you, you work at a way to make things better *for you* until they are :)

[ravenousnight]

Some people have difficulty understanding that, but it is exactly what I seek to do. I want to get over this and I want to be able to put this behind us, but I won't be satisfied until I've created enough closure for myself.

I feel like you tried to warn me back then -- not in the direct, "I know exactly what will happen way" but in a "what the hell are you thinking" sort of way.