In the End

[ratherastory]

Title: In the End
Summary: Sam is going to save the world.
Characters: Sam, Dean, Jimmy, Amelia and Claire and assorted demons.
Rating: PG-13, for the whole demon-blood-thing and adult themes
Wordcount: 1,321
Disclaimer: It grieves me that I have yet to find a way to make it all mine. In the meantime, please don't sue.
Neurotic Author's Note #1:

Comments

[harrigan]

I've fallen behind in my reading this week, but I'll start trying to remedy that by jumping out of sequence to comment on this.

And before I forget - the art work is made of WIN!

One of the things I love about this summer_Sam_love celebration is that we get some great variety: art, codas, missing scenes, and here's a stream of consciousness kind of thread that is spun throughout the whole episode.

The episode you picked really was a challenge! And not just because they didn't give us much Sam to work with, but because there is just no way to spin anything that isn't dark and disturbing and painful here.

I appreciate that you made the sacrifice though, because this look at Sam is all about sacrifice. It's helpful to get inside his skin, and be reminded that he didn't do this because he wanted it. He hated it.

But now I have to go look for something uplifting to read; I can't start my day feeling this depressed!

[ratherastory]

Oh, good. I'm glad the art worked for you. I'm hoping to hone my skills with practice. :)

I didn't think "The Rapture" would be so hard when I picked it, but then when I started thinking about it (and re-watched it for research purposes), all I could see was Sam, strung-out and desperate and acting like a world-class jerk, and it was hard to figure out his mindset in that episode. He's really unnecessarily cruel with Jimmy, because he feels so damned awful about everything.

I can't imagine how bleak the world must have looked to him at the time. Like the only end in sight was self-destruction in the name of a cause he believed to be right.

[de_nugis]

I actually have a dark love for that cruel, bitter s4 Sam who has given up any idea of being good but is still trying to do something he thinks is good. I love the way Sam's sheer determination to see things through can be dark, or good, or a complicated mix of the two, but in the end it is more what redeems him than what damns him because even when he does the worst thing he can imagine he's STILL willing to go on and get through it somehow. And the way what becomes of Sam isn't even part of the equation -- I think Sam may actually have Dean beat in the devaluing himself department, and that's quite an achievement.

[ratherastory]

Oh, yeah. Somewhere between Seasons 3 and 4 Sam became convinced he was irredeemable, and he figured that it didn't matter what he did anymore, just so long as it was for the greater good.

Dean doesn't think much of himself, thinks he's basically not worth much in the grand scheme of things, but Sam actually believes he deserves to be damned. At least Dean admitted he "[doesn't] deserve to go to hell" in Season 3 ("Dream a Little Dream of Me").

Poor muffin.

[ash48]

Oh I LOVED the way you captured Sam in this episode. Even though he wasn't in this one much he was so very there. This is when we first saw how (really, really) bad things were for him.

He settles on hating himself, instead.

This. So much. We think Dean knows how to hate himself, but Sam.... Sam seems to bottle it up and some how justify it all.

Because, in the end, he's going to save them all

Exactly! For Sam, at this point in the season, it was all about his belief that he was on the right path. That he could make a difference. Revenge his bother and save the world. OH SAM!! :((

Thank you, This was an excellent take on the episode.
xx

[ratherastory]

Thank you!

Oh, yeah. Dean has nothing on Sam in the self-loathing department, and we all know how good Dean is at it.

The only thing that kept Sam going during Season 4 was the belief that he was doing the right thing, that he was the only person who could defeat Lilith, avenge his brother and save the world.

And yes: Oh, Sam!

[dont_hate_me01]

Wonderfully written. Loved the way you captured Sam from that episode. He was so hard done between not taking blood and giving in to it. In the end he really did not have a choice did he?

[ratherastory]

Thank you so much!

Poor Sam was so twisted around by this episode he didn't know which was was up anymore. He didn't think he had a choice, and that's just as conclusive.

[monicawoe]

This is friggin awesome! Good job!

[ratherastory]

Thank you so much!