Apparently, my emotional reaction from the night I was roofied is on a ten-year delay

[ras_elased]

So I've never been shy about discussing the night in college that I was roofied, and I'm sure I've at least mentioned it in passing on my journal and possibly in other journals on my flist, but as far as I can recall I've never sat down and made a post describing what happened (and what didn't happen, thank God) that night, and how the experience

Comments

[oflittleuse]

I hope writing this down helps you, being a victim is a horrendous experience. I have two close friends who are rape survivors. One is getting married this summer to a wonderful man who has really been amazing through everything. The other is heading into her second anniversary with her girlfriend. It takes an amazing amount of inner-strength and courage to deal with these assaults. The latter, before she was a rape survivor, would always say "just because nothing happened doesn't mean that they aren't raped. There are no scales of bad to worse." It always cut me to the core that afterwards she would then say, "but he didn't manage to actually rape me, so I'm not really like those rape victims. I don't want to take away or belittle their experience." And then I would just sit there, we were roommates at the time, and there was nothing I could do to help. I let her have her quiet times and when she wanted to talk I listened, and hopefully that was okay. Still, it's a horrible experience. Hopefully this helps. <3

[shinetheway]

You keep saying that you weren't traumatized, that nothing actually happened. That isn't true. Just because you weren't screaming or bleeding at the end of it doesn't mean a trauma didn't happen. Don't feel like you need to diminish your own experience to make clear that you respect the experience that other people have had. Your trauma does not take away the meaning and importance and significance of someone else's assault story, just as theirs doesn't take anything away from you. We all experience trauma in our own way

[venivincere]

And the fact that I seem to be the only person who notices this victimization makes me feel isolated, while at the same time bringing up the emotions associated with what happened to me. And yet I also still feel like a big whiner because nothing traumatic actually happened, and combined with everyone around me (friends, coworkers, my own mother) acting like I'm a big whiner, that just compounds the problem. I think that's the root of what I've been feeling, but I still don't know why it's hitting me so hard, other than maybe just being at a point in my life where I'm mentally and emotionally ready to deal with it. Except that while I feel like I need to deal with it, all the above has made me feel like there's no one in my real life that I can talk to about it, and that no one would understand anyway if I did want to talk about it. Even in my own head, I still feel like I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill, because bottom line: nothing happened. Something very significant DID happen: whoever drugged you took your right to

[solanyxe]

I thought I didn't have a trigger, but I was wrong.
Couldn't read until the end, been crying uncotrollably for an hour or two. Sent my BF into panic.

Just wanted to say that I agree we do live in a mysoginistic society that trivilizes sexual abuse of all kinds, and as sad as it is, many women themselves adopt that mentality and propagate it.

It's not right. Shaming or dismissing those who are affected is not right.

As for GoT - I'm not sure the writer is mysogonistic. He really likes to abuse and break all of his characters. I got the impression he does feel sympathy for at least some female characters, but several scenes and themes are extremely difficult to digest.

And thank you for sharing this post. It means a lot.
Sorry I didn't read it in its entirety.