Apparently, my emotional reaction from the night I was roofied is on a ten-year delay

[ras_elased]

So I've never been shy about discussing the night in college that I was roofied, and I'm sure I've at least mentioned it in passing on my journal and possibly in other journals on my flist, but as far as I can recall I've never sat down and made a post describing what happened (and what didn't happen, thank God) that night, and how the experience

Comments

[venivincere]

And the fact that I seem to be the only person who notices this victimization makes me feel isolated, while at the same time bringing up the emotions associated with what happened to me. And yet I also still feel like a big whiner because nothing traumatic actually happened, and combined with everyone around me (friends, coworkers, my own mother) acting like I'm a big whiner, that just compounds the problem. I think that's the root of what I've been feeling, but I still don't know why it's hitting me so hard, other than maybe just being at a point in my life where I'm mentally and emotionally ready to deal with it. Except that while I feel like I need to deal with it, all the above has made me feel like there's no one in my real life that I can talk to about it, and that no one would understand anyway if I did want to talk about it. Even in my own head, I still feel like I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill, because bottom line: nothing happened.

Something very significant DID happen: whoever drugged you took your right to personhood away from you. Someone else decided they had the right to take your volition (and consciousness) away from you, without your consent. That is a huge violation, no matter if they committed the unconscionable sin of rape, as well.

If you are not getting any support in your RL relationships, please, please go see a therapist/counselor/psychologist and commit to some talk therapy about this. That asshole who drugged you took your control away from you. It's time to take back that control and a professional can help you do that, sooner rather than later. If you don't, your ability to form healthy, intimate relationships for the rest of your life is at risk. Permission to give you a hug?