The Telling of One Billion Ghost Stories (draft) - Part 16

Nov 20, 2007 21:08

Chapter was finished in a bit of a rush this week, apologies if this shows. A combination of other things eating my time and the story getting up to the less well planned parts (which I was rather hoping I'd have figured out before I got to this point, but it doesn't seem to have quite worked out that way) are slowing me down a lot lately. The ( Read more... )

au, fic, tsubasa, xxxholic

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Comments 15

tomoyohime8 November 20 2007, 12:35:27 UTC
yes!

by a lucky streak i decided to refresh my friends update page before i logged off!

i wonder how important that girl will be in later partz... XD

can't wait till the next. this was one major cliffie... O_O

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rallamajoop November 20 2007, 13:38:24 UTC
i wonder how important that girl will be in later partz... XD

Oh, quite reasonably important, I'd say. *g* Her joining their camp could trigger some interesting things.

can't wait till the next. this was one major cliffie... O_O

I maintain the one CLAMP just dealt us was even worse. (Though I may be slightly biased considering just *who* I've introduced. >.>)

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lunargeography November 20 2007, 12:52:31 UTC
Is that Kohane? I have to say, this is a twist that absolutely didn't occur to me. Between Watanuki's downright creepily obsessed behavior -- a quiet Watanuki is a very disturbed Watanuki, and his sleepless staring at Doumeki was incredibly unnerving (made me worry what else he was seeing, to so desperately need to stare at something as reassuring as Doumeki even when things were so tense between them, and haven't I tortured this sentance enough?) -- and Doumeki's guesses, I expected to find recent carnage. But someone alive? Interesting.

This line didn't work so well for me:
So when the day finally came that Doumeki found himself on the edge of Kurogane’s camp - alone, it was not such a surprise for him as it might have been.

I think it's the placement of that 'alone' that's bugging me.

This, however, gave me shivers:
Plundering a ruined Complex - that would be like stealing from a dying god. What did it matter if it was a god Douemki had never worshipped? Until the supplies within were the last hope of the dying, the mere thought ( ... )

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rallamajoop November 20 2007, 13:17:03 UTC
Yep, that would be right. And it's all been coming ever since I first posted those plot notes right at the start. ^^; It's sort of amusing just how much I didn't managed to spoil everyone with those, going by all the questions I've had on several of those plot points since. Selective memory can be a handy thing on occasion.

This line didn't work so well for me:

Rushed chapters tend to wind up with a few more of those than usual, I'm afraid. >.> I'll keep it in mind for when I come to the revising stage.

That's not a compunction Watanuki would share, I think. Which is good.

Yes and no. If he was guided inside to take something specific by one of his reliable ghosts, he'd follow, but otherwise, he has a very deep set desire not to go anywhere closer to any of the Complexes than he ever has to. As he hinted a few chapters ago, what he's heard about the places from his assorted ghosts hasn't exactly coloured them in a positive light for him.

And the light coming on in the lab -- that was Chi, finding out that the complex was gone? ( ... )

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duchessa November 20 2007, 19:03:07 UTC
... If you weren't so good at updating I'd have spazzed at the ending.
Kohane~ though the circumstances are far from ideal, I'm glad she showed up. The last few chapters has been my favourite, whats with the Hokuto and Himawari appearance. I bawled for the latter.

I wonder which ghost told Watanuki of this news? And, did they actually told him he should retrieve her?

And now the gang has two new members whose circumstances are just a little fishy. Did spirits went ballistic for Kohane's behalf too? I kinda want the ghosts to go overprotective in front of Doumeki&co - that way there will be no space for denial , not to mention I'm loving the characters who's filling the spirit roles so far . Hope to see more familiar faces~

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rallamajoop November 21 2007, 02:11:22 UTC
... If you weren't so good at updating I'd have spazzed at the ending.

Hate to admit it, but I really did mean it about how I was getting up to the hard bits with this story. What I'm likely to be posting next week is a side story, and CLAMP's just as cliffhanger-y mention of Kohane at the end of the latest chapter is really not helping. How can I write fic about a character when her canonical counterpart is stuck in limbo for three weeks? ;_; It's really not going to help.

I wonder which ghost told Watanuki of this news? And, did they actually told him he should retrieve her?

Even I tend not to find out those details unless it's going to be important somehow - and in this case, it's going to stay ambiguous.

I kinda want the ghosts to go overprotective in front of Doumeki&co - that way there will be no space for denialEr, considering that when we've seen that happen before it was because Watanuki's life was being threatened, and the result was that everyone else present but him died, I really wouldn't want that. Besides, the gang ( ... )

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anonymous November 20 2007, 20:04:17 UTC
Well, it’s good to come home from a loooong day at work (it’s 8 pm in my time zone) and find an update. You’ve officially made my day ( ... )

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rallamajoop November 21 2007, 02:33:49 UTC
Well, it’s good to come home from a loooong day at work (it’s 8 pm in my time zone) and find an update. You’ve officially made my day ^^

Happy to oblige. ^_^

This part doesn’t seem rushed to me, but in these cases I tend to stick to the “author-knows-best” rule- if you’re not happy with it then nobody can convince you otherwise, and after all you know your story best.

Actually, I'd say 'beta reader knows best', would be the better rule, but the author does get veto rights most of the time. ^^; 'Rushed' was mostly meant in the most literal sense where I didn't get it finished until right before it was posted, and I barely gave it one quick read through and edit before putting it up. Up until a week ago I was managing to keep up a two week buffer of chapters before I posted, but after a couple of unproductive weeks, I've lost all that now. We'll just have to see where it goes from here.

I’m probably too tired to give a coherent analysis or anything, but I like the fact that you’re on part 16 and the plot is still going strong. Lots ( ... )

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therck November 27 2007, 23:19:21 UTC
lunargeography recommended this fic to me. Reading it so far has been great fun. I've friended you so as not to miss later installments whenever they may happen.

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rallamajoop November 28 2007, 01:21:35 UTC
Well, welcome to my journal then. ^_^ Glad you're enjoying the fic so far.

The next proper installment is likely to be delayed, I'm afraid, thanks to a combination of RL interferences and CLAMP's latest chapter leaving me hanging - but I'll get to it eventually, whenever that may be. ^^;

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therck November 28 2007, 01:24:15 UTC
I know how works in progress can go. (My big one has been getting only a chapter or two a year since my now four year old was born.)

I'll wait as patiently as I can.

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