Chapter was finished in a bit of a rush this week, apologies if this shows. A combination of other things eating my time and the story getting up to the less well planned parts (which I was rather hoping I'd have figured out before I got to this point, but it doesn't seem to have quite worked out that way) are slowing me down a lot lately. The
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by a lucky streak i decided to refresh my friends update page before i logged off!
i wonder how important that girl will be in later partz... XD
can't wait till the next. this was one major cliffie... O_O
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Oh, quite reasonably important, I'd say. *g* Her joining their camp could trigger some interesting things.
can't wait till the next. this was one major cliffie... O_O
I maintain the one CLAMP just dealt us was even worse. (Though I may be slightly biased considering just *who* I've introduced. >.>)
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This line didn't work so well for me:
So when the day finally came that Doumeki found himself on the edge of Kurogane’s camp - alone, it was not such a surprise for him as it might have been.
I think it's the placement of that 'alone' that's bugging me.
This, however, gave me shivers:
Plundering a ruined Complex - that would be like stealing from a dying god. What did it matter if it was a god Douemki had never worshipped? Until the supplies within were the last hope of the dying, the mere thought ( ... )
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This line didn't work so well for me:
Rushed chapters tend to wind up with a few more of those than usual, I'm afraid. >.> I'll keep it in mind for when I come to the revising stage.
That's not a compunction Watanuki would share, I think. Which is good.
Yes and no. If he was guided inside to take something specific by one of his reliable ghosts, he'd follow, but otherwise, he has a very deep set desire not to go anywhere closer to any of the Complexes than he ever has to. As he hinted a few chapters ago, what he's heard about the places from his assorted ghosts hasn't exactly coloured them in a positive light for him.
And the light coming on in the lab -- that was Chi, finding out that the complex was gone? ( ... )
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Kohane~ though the circumstances are far from ideal, I'm glad she showed up. The last few chapters has been my favourite, whats with the Hokuto and Himawari appearance. I bawled for the latter.
I wonder which ghost told Watanuki of this news? And, did they actually told him he should retrieve her?
And now the gang has two new members whose circumstances are just a little fishy. Did spirits went ballistic for Kohane's behalf too? I kinda want the ghosts to go overprotective in front of Doumeki&co - that way there will be no space for denial , not to mention I'm loving the characters who's filling the spirit roles so far . Hope to see more familiar faces~
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Hate to admit it, but I really did mean it about how I was getting up to the hard bits with this story. What I'm likely to be posting next week is a side story, and CLAMP's just as cliffhanger-y mention of Kohane at the end of the latest chapter is really not helping. How can I write fic about a character when her canonical counterpart is stuck in limbo for three weeks? ;_; It's really not going to help.
I wonder which ghost told Watanuki of this news? And, did they actually told him he should retrieve her?
Even I tend not to find out those details unless it's going to be important somehow - and in this case, it's going to stay ambiguous.
I kinda want the ghosts to go overprotective in front of Doumeki&co - that way there will be no space for denialEr, considering that when we've seen that happen before it was because Watanuki's life was being threatened, and the result was that everyone else present but him died, I really wouldn't want that. Besides, the gang ( ... )
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Happy to oblige. ^_^
This part doesn’t seem rushed to me, but in these cases I tend to stick to the “author-knows-best” rule- if you’re not happy with it then nobody can convince you otherwise, and after all you know your story best.
Actually, I'd say 'beta reader knows best', would be the better rule, but the author does get veto rights most of the time. ^^; 'Rushed' was mostly meant in the most literal sense where I didn't get it finished until right before it was posted, and I barely gave it one quick read through and edit before putting it up. Up until a week ago I was managing to keep up a two week buffer of chapters before I posted, but after a couple of unproductive weeks, I've lost all that now. We'll just have to see where it goes from here.
I’m probably too tired to give a coherent analysis or anything, but I like the fact that you’re on part 16 and the plot is still going strong. Lots ( ... )
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The next proper installment is likely to be delayed, I'm afraid, thanks to a combination of RL interferences and CLAMP's latest chapter leaving me hanging - but I'll get to it eventually, whenever that may be. ^^;
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I'll wait as patiently as I can.
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