The Telling of One Billion Ghost Stories (draft) - Part 16
Chapter was finished in a bit of a rush this week, apologies if this shows. A combination of other things eating my time and the story getting up to the less well planned parts (which I was rather hoping I'd have figured out before I got to this point, but it doesn't seem to have quite worked out that way) are slowing me down a lot lately. The
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This part doesn’t seem rushed to me, but in these cases I tend to stick to the “author-knows-best” rule- if you’re not happy with it then nobody can convince you otherwise, and after all you know your story best.
I’m probably too tired to give a coherent analysis or anything, but I like the fact that you’re on part 16 and the plot is still going strong. Lots of fanfic writers tend to get muddled after a while, but you still seem to have everything under control.
And I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I love the attention to detail. Like mentioning the light going on in the lab, and then we realize it’s Chi finding about the destruction of Complex. It gives the reader a feeling of characters existing in a real world, where various things happen at the same time. Sometimes, fanfic (and not only fanfic) writers focus only on the characters that interest them the most and make it seem as though the rest of the world is on hold, and actually doesn’t exist when those characters don’t interact with it.
I really hope I’m making some sense here, but if I’m not please tell me, and I’ll try to rephrase it after I faint for ten hours or so…I probably shouldn’t try to leave comments when I can hardly articulate in my mother tongue, let alone in english…
oh, and I'm really interested to see what you'll do with Kohane, since there is so many interesting ways that can go...(not all of them nice, but definitely interesting ^^)
kori
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Happy to oblige. ^_^
This part doesn’t seem rushed to me, but in these cases I tend to stick to the “author-knows-best” rule- if you’re not happy with it then nobody can convince you otherwise, and after all you know your story best.
Actually, I'd say 'beta reader knows best', would be the better rule, but the author does get veto rights most of the time. ^^; 'Rushed' was mostly meant in the most literal sense where I didn't get it finished until right before it was posted, and I barely gave it one quick read through and edit before putting it up. Up until a week ago I was managing to keep up a two week buffer of chapters before I posted, but after a couple of unproductive weeks, I've lost all that now. We'll just have to see where it goes from here.
I’m probably too tired to give a coherent analysis or anything, but I like the fact that you’re on part 16 and the plot is still going strong. Lots of fanfic writers tend to get muddled after a while, but you still seem to have everything under control.
I have had just about everything that's happened so far planned out since I posted the first proper chapter - right up to the ending, but the details are getting murkier the further I go in. Apparently I've still got at least the *illusion* of control though. XD
And I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I love the attention to detail. Like mentioning the light going on in the lab, and then we realize it’s Chi finding about the destruction of Complex. It gives the reader a feeling of characters existing in a real world, where various things happen at the same time. Sometimes, fanfic (and not only fanfic) writers focus only on the characters that interest them the most and make it seem as though the rest of the world is on hold, and actually doesn’t exist when those characters don’t interact with it.
That was actually pretty much what I was going for there. Watanuki might have his own mysterious ways of getting information, but something as big as a ruined Complex couldn't possibly go unnoticed for long - and naturally Chi wouldn't wait to pass on a message about something that important. I'd be doing the whole setting a big disservice by forgetting something like that - and miss a chance to add a bit to the mystery and tension behind the scene.
oh, and I'm really interested to see what you'll do with Kohane, since there is so many interesting ways that can go...(not all of them nice, but definitely interesting ^^)
Kohane and the events surrounding her appearance are set to be the trigger for a lot of plot developments to come - assuming CLAMP don't derail me completely with whatever they reveal when we finally get to the next official holic chapter. Talk about inconvenient timing. ^^;
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