FIC: "Time Of Our Lives" - Sean and Elijah - PG - Part Three of Six

[rakshi]

Deepest thanks to kelikala for her amazing artistry in aging our beloved boys
15 years for the banners and icons used in this series.

Title: 'Time Of Our Lives' (Part Three of Six)
Author: Rakshi
Rating: Overall: NC-17. This section: PG
Pairing: Sean Astin/Elijah Wood, Dom/Billy (implied), Alexandra/Orlando (implied)
Summary: Their lives seem to descend into chaos as outside influences and their own fears tear at the very fabric of their relationship. Can they make this work?

Author's Notes: There aren't enough words to thank my dear friend, abandonada, for her professional quality editing of my story. Every suggestion she makes is a winner and I couldn't get along without her.

'Time Of Our Lives' is the forth part of the Sean and Elijah 'Time' series. In the first story, ' Time', Sean and Elijah were reunited after a ten year separation and rediscovered their enduring love for one another. In the second story of the series, ' Time To Be Us', they deal with their inner fears and determined the course of their future together, in the third story ' Time After Time' they struggled to bring that future to fruition against some pretty overwhelming odds, and now in 'Time Of Our Lives' they discover that even after 20 years, there are still things that they can learn about each other, about themselves, and about their relationship.

Also posted to astinwood, fellow_shippers, andlotrip_all_fic so please forgive any duplication.



Previous chapters:
'Time Of Our Lives - Part One'
Time Of Our Lives - Part Two

Disclaimer: This story is a work of satirical fantasy about public figures. It is completely fictional. I make no assertions about the actual private life or the sexual orientation of any person mentioned in this work.

Now I've had the time of my life
No I never felt like this before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you

Sean sat alone in the living room for a long time, stunned and utterly miserable. His hazel eyes were glued to the stairs that Elijah had stomped up a few minutes before. His hands were clenched into hard fists to control their trembling. He could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he and Elijah had actually quarreled, and even then neither of them had ever walked away without resolving their differences. This was an unprecedented event in their lives, and Sean was at a loss about how to handle it.

Finally he rose and walked slowly, hesitantly to their bedroom. Elijah was sitting on the bed staring down at the floor. Sean had barely entered the room before Elijah lifted his face and stared at him, his eyes wide and anguished. "Sean-" he stammered his voice tentative and trembling. "Seanie... I-I'm-"

Before he could finish, Sean quickly strode across the room and sat next to him, gathering him close, kissing his damp eyes, his cheeks, his lips. "Shhh, Lijah, Lijah. It's OK now, baby," he soothed, stroking Elijah's hair. "We'll figure it out. You have to do what you think is best. I'm here for you, Elijah. I promise you. I'll always be here for you."

They talked for a long, long time. Sean grudgingly conceded that Elijah was right; the script was riveting, and he would be magnificent in the part. Eventually-and very, very reluctantly-he also agreed to support Elijah's desire to accept the lead. They discussed a tentative plan to lease a New York apartment where they could both live while Elijah worked on the play, with Sean returning to their Topanga Canyon home when work required his presence in Los Angeles. They both agreed that this wasn't what they wanted. But they were also determined that they would not be separated any more than was absolutely necessary.

Finally, emotionally exhausted, they stripped to their underwear and lay on the bed, holding each other close. "It'll be alright," Sean murmured, his fingers gently caressing Elijah's brow, soothing away lines of stress and pain. "Relax, baby," Sean murmured again and again. “It's all OK now."

Elijah nestled against his lover's sturdy body, lulled by the sound of his voice, feeling the tension of the day beginning to drain away.

"By the way," Sean said, leaning back a bit to look at him. "Did you ever hear from Dom?"

"Dom!" Elijah exclaimed, abruptly sitting bolt upright. "Oh, fuck, Sean! Dom!"

"What??" Sean asked, alarmed. "What's wrong?"

Elijah turned quickly to the bedside table and snatched up his cell phone. "I turned this fucker off when I started reading that play and I forgot to turn it back on!" He quickly pressed the 'on' button and seconds later heard the phone signal that he had voice mail. Silently he listened to the message, then hung up sighing and laid the phone back on the table.

"Well?" Sean asked, leaning toward him. "Was it Dom?"

"Yeah," Elijah said dryly turning to look at Sean. "It was Dom." He sighed and leaned against his lover, his head resting once again on Sean's shoulder. "Billy left Ali. He's moving to LA to be with Dom."

"He's leaving his kids?" Sean asked, aghast.

"Evidently."

"Jesus, Elijah, you know that'll never work. Billy adores those kids. He'll die without them."

Elijah made no response for a long, long time. When he finally spoke his voice was thin and unbelievably weary: "Can we just go to sleep, Seanie? I'd really like this day to end."

Sean nodded. "So would I, baby. So would I."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following day, Elijah informed his agent that he was happy, if not eager, to accept the part of Blair Edwards in Autumn’s Pride. Martin quickly set up several meetings between Elijah and the play’s producers and confirmed the date with him early in the following week. “We have to fly out Friday," he told Elijah. "I've already booked our flight. The director will probably sit in on the meeting. He’s beside himself that you’re actually considering the part.”

“That’s fine,” Elijah told him.

“This is just the first meeting, Elijah, so don’t go sounding over eager. I’m still dickering with them on salary and benefits. Keep them dangling a bit. You’re a big star, and your name will be worth a lot to them. I want to see how far they’ll go before we commit to anything.”

Elijah couldn’t help but smile because, of course, the more money he made, the greater Martin’s percentage, but he also knew that Martin always had his best interests at heart. “No worries, Martin. I’ll play it totally cool.” They agreed to reconnect in New York before the meeting to plan strategy and said good-bye. Elijah stood for a moment after Martin hung up, holding the silent phone in his hand. “Play it cool,” he murmured unhappily, and sighed.

Cool would perfectly describe his relationship with Sean since the night of their big blowup. Not cold in any way, but maybe a little too polite. A little too careful. They had only talked about the play once since then, and when they did Elijah knew unerringly that Sean was subtly withdrawing from him, or at least being less than honest about his feelings.

I guess I can’t blame him, Elijah thought. He had no idea what had caused him to explode the way he had that night, but deep down he sensed that Sean was more than a little right to suggest that he was running on a ragged edge. The past few years had been hectic, with almost no time between major projects. And between their concern over Ally and Orlando plus Dom and Billy, they had felt a fair amount of stress in their personal lives as well.

But even knowing this didn't change his mind. He was determined to do Autumn’s Pride. He had always longed to test his acting talents on the stage, and even Sean admitted that the role was perfect for him. He simply had to trust that they’d be able to work through the difficulties together.

For his part, Sean was painfully aware that he had withdrawn from his lover. He knew he was the more insecure one in their relationship, and he had been deeply shaken by their quarrel. He struggled daily with the fears it had awakened in him. The years that he and Elijah spent apart had been a time of profound sadness for him. The very thought that he might lose this man whom he loved with all his soul and have to relive those bleak and lonely years was terrifying.

He longed to confront Elijah about doing this play and demand that he keep his promise not to take on any new projects until he had taken some time off to rest, but Sean was afraid of expanding the growing rift between them, and his fear kept him silent. His inner turmoil was expanded by an ever-escalating sense of guilt. He knew he was allowing his lack of confidence to strike him mute just when Elijah most needed him to be strong and forceful.

This was an old pattern for Sean: fear, withdrawal, guilt. Deep down he knew that for Elijah’s own good he’d eventually have to speak his mind, but he dreaded the confrontation that was guaranteed to follow any attempt on his part to intervene. For now he rationalized that a ‘wait and see’ attitude was best and vowed to himself that he would keep a close eye on what developed. And so he forced a smile as Elijah entered the kitchen where Sean sat eating breakfast.

“Hey there,” Sean greeted him. “You hungry?” He rose from his chair to wrap Elijah in a one-armed hug.

Elijah returned his embrace and gave him a wan smile. “No thanks, Seanie. Not really hungry.”

“You’re not eating very well lately,” Sean said quietly, reseating himself at the table.

“I’m fine. I’ll eat later,” Elijah replied, leaning back against the sink. “Just talked to Martin and I guess the meeting in New York is set, and I'm flying out Friday.” He watched Sean carefully. “You’re welcome to come along if you like; be easy to get another ticket.”

Sean’s eyes never left his plate. “Thanks, but I don’t think I can. I have meetings myself at the station.” He turned to look at his lover. Elijah was leaning back on the sink with his legs casually crossed in front of him. He was pale, but still exquisitely beautiful in black jeans and a snow-white T-shirt that set off his dark hair and soft beard to perfection. His face was thoughtful. His blue eyes searched Sean's as if seeking an answer that Sean instinctively knew he did not have. Just looking at him dried Sean's tongue and tightened his chest with both love and an aching sense of loss. Suddenly he wanted to cry. I'm going to lose him, he thought in desperate sadness.

He wrenched his eyes away and steeled himself with an effort. “You’ll do fine without me," he stated softly, rising from the table. "Mother hen Martin will take good care of you I’m sure.” Then, unable to say anything more for fear of revealing the tumultuous emotions roiling in his chest, he silently walked from room.

Elijah sighed as he watched Sean's retreating back, sure that his silence signaled a deepening of the distance between them and stricken with sudden fear that their relationship would suffer irreparable damage because he was doing this play.

Maybe I should reconsider, he thought, then immediately rejected the idea. He knew instinctively that expanding his career repertoire to include stage work would be a growth-promoting experience, and he knew the role in question was a good one for him. Besides, he had already made a commitment to meet with them and felt honor bound to follow through.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sean finished at the station ahead of schedule. Ordinarily under these circumstances he would have been eager to rush home to Elijah, but today the thought of going home filled him with a kind of dread. He knew Elijah would be getting ready for his trip and Sean was afraid that watching those preparations would goad him into saying something he would end up regretting. Uncertain what to do, he drove aimlessly for a few minutes, then gathering what little resolve he had left, he headed for his daughter’s house.

Alexandra was in school, but Orlando greeted him at the door. “Hey, man!” he said cordially. “C’mon in! Patrick!” he called over his shoulder. “Grandpa’s here!”

Sean spent a happy few minutes playing with his lively grandson. But eventually Patrick went back to his TV show and Sean turned to Orlando. “How’s it been going?” he asked.

Orlando shrugged, his smile fading as he turned to his friend and father-in-law. “It’s OK, Sean,” he replied slowly, and then he shrugged again. “You know Ally.”

“Yeah,” Sean said dryly. “I know her all right.”

“She’s got the bit in her teeth about getting her PhD and she’s pushing herself way too hard. Paddy and I hardly see her. When she’s not in school, she’s barricaded in her office studying.”

“Orly, I’m worried about her health. Plus the fact that she’s not spending any quality time with Patrick.”

“Sean, do you think I’m unaware of these things?”

“Well if you are, you don’t appear to be doing much about it,” Sean said mildly. “I mean, Jesus, Orlando, you are her husband.”

Orlando’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “You might want to try telling her that, Sean, since she doesn’t appear to hear it when I say it.”

Sean could see his friend was getting upset, but at this point in time he found he didn’t much care. His nerves were already frayed from the tension between himself and Elijah, and before he could think or stop himself his temper flared.

“Me tell her? YOU tell her! Don’t just sit there with your mouth glued shut like some kind of… of...,” Then, remembering his grandson playing in the next room, Sean quickly wrenched himself under control. “She’s destroying her health!” Sean hissed in a desperate whisper as he rose from his chair. “It’s hurting Patrick! It's hurting her!! For god’s sake, Orly, say something! DO something!” Orlando glared at Sean, furious at his father-in-law's attack, but he said nothing as Sean stalked into the next room, thinking that a few minutes with his grandson would help him regain his calm.

As he talked with Patrick he glanced toward the room where he'd left Orlando. He was already berating himself for his outburst, and watching his grandson play only made him feel worse. Patrick was the image of Orlando, and looking into his eyes left Sean feeling even worse about having argued with his friend. But he felt incapable of coping with another emotionally charged scene that day, so he told Patrick good-bye with as much composure as he could muster and left without apologizing to Orlando. He regretted losing his temper. He regretted going to Alexandra's house. He knew that at least half of his anger with Orlando could be traced directly back to the frustration and fear he felt over Elijah leaving to do this play.

This has got to stop!, he thought decisively and turned his car for home, determined to have a frank and honest talk with Elijah before he left for New York. He simply couldn’t bear the thought that they would be separated with this tension still unresolved. I'll call Orly later and apologize, he promised himself. First I need to talk to Elijah.

When he arrived he threw his briefcase to a nearby table and sprinted up the stairs two at a time. "Elijah!" He called eagerly. "Baby, where are you?" He turned to walk into their bedroom but stopped when he heard Gabby calling his name.

"Mister Sean?"

Sean leaned over the rail. "Yes, Gabby? Where's Mister Elijah?"

"He left, Mister Sean. That's what I wanted to tell you. He left earlier. He said to give you this note." She hurried up the stairs and handed him a folded piece of paper.

"Thank you, Gabby," Sean murmured. He felt numb with shock and for a moment he stared down at the paper unable to move. He left without telling me good-bye, he thought sadly. Then he slowly opened the note and read:

Seanie,

Sorry I had to leave without saying good-bye. Had a chance to catch an earlier flight so I grabbed it. Didn't want to interrupt your meeting with a phone call. I'll call you tonight. I love you.

Elijah

Sean felt sudden tears sting his eyes, and he hurriedly shoved the note in his pocket. "Damn it!" he spat, then drew in a deep, shuddering breath. "God damn it!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elijah tried to rest on the plane, but sleep eluded him. He hated to leave without saying good-bye to Sean, though it was less painful than having to see the sadness in Sean's eyes and feel the painful tension between them. By the time he got to his hotel and was able to call, it was nearly midnight.

"Hi!" Elijah said with forced cheerfulness. "Did I wake you?"

"No," Sean said quietly. "I wasn't asleep. Was reading actually."

"I'm sorry I had to leave without seeing you. Martin thought we could use the extra day to prep for the meeting."

"I understand," Sean said. "Good flight?"

"Yeah," Elijah replied. "Though I sorta missed having someone sitting next to me counting to sixty."

Sean gave a short, soft laugh.

"I miss you, Seanie," Elijah told him.

"I miss you too," Sean told him, his voice suddenly wistful. "God, Lij, I miss you so much."

The sadness in his tone tore at Elijah's heart. "I'm sorry for how things have been lately, Seanie," he murmured into the receiver. "I'll make it up to you when I get home."

"Nothing to make up for," Sean said. "I'll just be glad to have you home with me again."

"Call you tomorrow?"

"Please do," Sean said softly. He hesitated, then spoke again. "Elijah? I love you. I love you very much."

"I love you too, Seanie. Be safe."

Elijah hung up feeling somewhat less anxious and immediately fell into bed and into a deep, dreamless sleep.

He and Martin met for breakfast the next day and spent most of the morning discussing strategies for their upcoming meeting with the play's producers and director. Elijah had never worked with any of them, which wasn't surprising since their work was mainly in the theater. The director's name was vaguely familiar to Elijah and he wondered if they'd ever met. "Do I know this guy?" he mused to Martin. "Name seems familiar."

"Deacon Christopher?" Martin replied, shrugging. "He's never done any work in LA that I'm aware of. Maybe you heard someone else speak of him."

Elijah stared over Martin's head thoughtfully. "Deacon Christopher," he repeated. "Not sure where I heard his name." Then he shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

"He's a young ambitious stage director in his early forties," Martin told him between bites of breakfast. "He's had some moderate success off-Broadway. Likes the dark, intense plays featuring gay characters... which makes sense."

"He's gay?" Elijah asked, reaching for his phone.

Martin nodded. "Probably why he's doing this play."

Elijah sighed and began a text message to Sean. It was too early to call the west coast; he knew Sean would still be sleeping. But he wanted to keep in touch.

Hi, babe, he typed. Just a quick I love you before...

He stopped typing when his phone abruptly rang. He glanced at the caller ID, hoping it was Sean and saw instead that the call was from Orlando.

"Hey there, Elf," he said brightly, quickly switching over to take the call. "What're you doing up so early?"

"Packing!" Orlando spat out. "Thought I'd call and ask if your boyfriend told you what he'd done to totally fuck up my life!"

"Orlando...," Elijah began. "Sean hasn't told me any-"

"After he spewed out his little diatribe browbeating me about what a lousy husband I was and how I wasn't taking care of his little girl and grandson, I took his advise and confronted Alex."

"Orly, what happened?" Elijah asked, stunned by what he was hearing.

"She threw me out!" Orlando said angrily. "Well, she was a lot politer than that, of course. Never lost the famous Astin cool. But the end result is the same. We're separating. Tell Daddy..." the word dripped with caustic sarcasm... "I said ‘thanks a lot’."

"God, Orlando, I'm sorry. I'm sure Sean never meant to-"

"Don't tell me what he meant, Elijah. He made his feelings perfectly bloody clear. I'm a worthless piece of shit who's nothing but a whipping boy in my own home."

"Sean said that?" Elijah asked, horrified.

"Not in those words," Orlando conceded. "But the meaning was pretty clear."

"What are you going to do?"

"I dunno. Maybe go stay with some friends 'til some of this gets sorted."

"I'm in New York on business, Orly," Elijah told him. "But I'll be home in a few days. I'll call you then, and maybe we can figure this thing out. Alexandra will cool down. This is just a misunderstanding."

"I doubt it," Orlando said unhappily. "Sorry, Lij. Didn't mean to dump this on you. I'm just upset and angry and not ready to talk to Sean. Not sure I ever want to talk to him again."

"Orly, let's just go one day at a time. I know Sean never meant for this to happen. And I know-"

"Lij, please don't try to sell me on Sean right now, OK? I mean, I know Ally is his daughter, but I thought I was his friend. You didn't hear how he talked to me. You'd have thought I was forcing Ally to spend eighteen hours a day obsessing over her bloody PhD! Fucking hell, I begged her a thousand times to slow down. I told him that!" He sighed. "Look, buddy. I'm sorry I bugged you. Didn't know you were traveling. Call me when you get back."

Elijah promised to call Orlando when he returned to LA and hung up, his head reeling from this revelation, and more than a little annoyed that Sean would have confronted Orlando without discussing it with him first. "Damn!" he muttered, slamming his phone down on the table, completely forgetting about his half-finished text message to Sean.

"Problem?" Martin asked, looking up from his papers.

"No," Elijah muttered grimly. "Or at least nothing I can do anything to fix now."

They finished their breakfast meeting in comparative silence and arranged to meet later in the day. Martin wanted him to update his portfolio with a few images carefully crafted to resemble the character whose part he coveted in Autumn's Pride and had arranged for Elijah to visit a well-known New York photographer in order to have the photos ready for tomorrow's meeting.

In preparation for the shoot, Elijah returned to his hotel room and carefully laid out the clothes he planned to wear. It was now late enough in LA that he could safely call and he thought about phoning Sean, but then decided against it. He was still upset over the news Orlando had shared and was hesitant to phone until he'd calmed down a little. Unfortunately, he didn't get the chance. Sean's ring tone chimed while he was still laying out his clothes.

For a moment he hesitated. He could simply not answer. He could give himself time to absorb what Orly had said before having this conversation. He knew that's what he should do. But then, deciding impulsively, he pushed the 'talk' button.

"Hi," he said quietly.

"Hey," Sean said. "How's it going? I was afraid I'd wake you."

"No. Been up for awhile. Had breakfast with Martin, strategizing and all. I have a photo shoot in an hour or so."

"That's good," Sean said slowly, sensing some stiffness in Elijah's tone. "Everything OK?"

"Well, no, Sean, everything's not OK," Elijah replied. "I got a pretty upsetting phone call this morning from Orlando."

Sean made no response.

"Evidently Ally asked him to move out."

"What?" Sean blurted, clearly stunned. "I've heard nothing about this!"

"Orlando told me that you gave him one hell of a verbal beating the other night."

For a long moment there was silence. Then Sean spoke slowly, as if gauging each word. "Yes. I was pretty harsh. I was upset about...," he hesitated. "... other things and I took it out on him. But I said nothing that wasn't true, and I never once suggested that they separate!"

"After your chat with him, Orly evidently felt compelled to confront Ally. Her response was to ask him to move out... which seems a bit extreme to me."

"Elijah, I need to call her. This is insane."

"I totally agree, Sean. The whole fucking thing is insane. What possessed you to confront Orly like that in the first place?" He knew he was challenging Sean about issues that were really none of his business but couldn't seem to stop himself. His nerves were ragged and being so far away at a time like this only made things worse.

For a long moment the only sound was Sean's increasingly uneven breathing. When he finally responded, his voice seemed deliberately pitched low... as if he were striving to be reasonable. "Elijah, going there and talking to Orlando was an impulse which I regretted almost at once. But nothing I said to him could possibly have led to this."

"Orlando sees it differently," Elijah replied curtly, "and frankly so do I. You tell me to stay out of the situation with Dom and Billy, then you take it on yourself to interfere with Ally and Orlando? What the fuck, Sean!"

"This is my child we're talking about, Elijah!" Sean said sharply. "And my grandchild! I couldn't just stand by and do nothing. Paddy was being hurt by it."

Now it was Elijah's turn to go silent.

"I felt," Sean began, then hesitated. He drew a deep breath, clearly fighting for control, then continued, "I felt that Orlando was the only one who could influence her and that he needed to take a firmer position. That is what I told him. And that is all I told him."

"He's pretty upset," Elijah said, pitching his voice lower, striving to sound less adversarial.

"I'm sorry about that, and I will apologize to him when I get the chance. But right now, Elijah, I really need to call Ally. Can I call you back later today?"

"Fine," Elijah said, and immediately hung up. He sucked in a deep breath and stood for a moment, fighting the desire to throw the phone across the room, wishing with all his heart that he had not just hung up on Sean. This situation was rapidly moving from bad to worse.

"Fuck!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in Los Angeles, Sean sank into a chair still clutching his phone and trembling all over. He wasn't sure which he found more upsetting: the possibility of his daughter's separation from her husband or the continuing strain in his relationship with Elijah. They had both foreseen the problems between Alexandra and Orlando. But the problems between he and Elijah had come like a bolt from the blue and had completely shattered Sean's sometimes-fragile sense of safety and security.

He drew in a deep breath. He wondered if he had become inadvertently neglectful of their relationship. Had perhaps been lulled into a false sense of security by the past several years of complete happiness. Should I have seen this coming?, Sean wondered. Did I somehow miss some signal... some sign that he was unhappy?

Stop it!, he thought, forcing his mind to focus. He knew he had an unhealthy tendency to second-guess himself and get lost in endless fantasies of doom and gloom when situations frightened him-and this situation frightened him badly. He knew he couldn't afford to go off half-cocked. He still had to deal with his daughter's situation, and that had to be his top priority right now. An entire continent stood between himself and Elijah. At the moment there was nothing he could do to remedy the problems between them. But he could at least talk to Alexandra and Orlando. Striving for calm, he quickly speed-dialed his daughter's cell phone and after only a moment, she answered.

"Hi, Daddy."

"Ally, are you alright? Elijah just phoned me. He heard from Orlando that you two plan to separate? Is this true?"

For a moment there was silence. Then Alexandra spoke, her voice small and soft, reminding Sean, painfully, of how she sounded as a child when something had hurt her. "It's true, Daddy. I've asked him to move out."

"But, Ally, why?" Sean asked. "Orly's a good guy and a great father."

"Tell you the truth, Daddy, I'm a little surprised to hear you talk this way after what Orlando said. He told me about your talk the other night."

"Ally, I regret how I talked to Orly that night. I shouldn't have interfered. I was worried about you and about Paddy. But I never suggested you two should separate! And I never meant for it to come to this."

"I know, Daddy," she said quietly. "I don't blame you. I don't blame anyone." She sighed.

"Ally, maybe Orlando has a point. You have been pushing pretty hard. Maybe you could ease off. Take a break for a semester or take fewer classes."

"Daddy, I've been through all this with Orlando. My program doesn't allow for that kind of flexibility! It's a very tough degree, but it's what I want. Can't he just hang in there for another year or so?"

"Ally, I worry about the effect it's having on Paddy. He hardly sees you." Sean knew he was in dangerous territory, but he felt he had no choice but to confront his daughter.

"That's not true!" Ally said sharply. "I do see my son! And I'm getting tired of both you and Orlando suggesting that I neglect him!"

Sean sighed. "Ally, I didn't use the word 'neglect' and I doubt Orlando did either. We just-"

"But he DID use that word. And you suggested it even if you didn't say it!" She sighed again. "Daddy, I have to go. It's a little hectic here this morning. I've got class and Orlando is packing his things. I've got to take Paddy to day care. I'll call you after things get more settled."

"Ally, please, please think about this!" Sean pled. "Don't decide impulsively. Give it a day or two!"

"Daddy, things are already past that point. And right now I have to run. I'll call you later, I promise."

"Ok, baby," Sean sighed in defeat. "I love you. Kiss Paddy for me."

He hung up and stood silently for a few moments staring at the phone, feeling utterly miserable. He knew where his daughter got her single-minded obsession with success and with attaining a chosen goal. It was a predisposition handed down from generation to generation in his family, and right now that compulsive-obsessive tendency had her firmly in its grip. For her... nothing else mattered except getting her PhD and it was clear that she wasn't yet ready to acknowledge the detrimental effect it was having on those who loved her.

Sean understood her passion. He also understood that she could easily be completely unaware of how unhealthy it had become. He'd been through it himself often enough to know how blinded one could become to one’s own neurotic tendencies. He prayed his daughter would eventually see how much more satisfying her life could become if she could bring herself to direct just a little more of that passion toward her husband and child. But he also knew that nothing he could say or do would move her toward that awareness. She had to come to it on her own... just as he had.

His broad shoulders slumped. "Jesus!" He was fearful that talking to his daughter hadn't helped a bit and he knew he wouldn't have a single moment's peace until these painful issues were settled. He thought about calling Elijah back thinking that they could talk through some of their problems, then decided against it. Right now Elijah was focused on his upcoming photo shoot and Sean didn't want to distract him. Besides, Sean had meetings of his own that were demanding his attention. He knew that trying to put his worries behind him as he moved to face his day was probably pointless, but he also knew he had to try.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elijah's photo shoot took most of the afternoon, but it went off without a hitch. As usual, the photographer wanted him to adopt a serious-and by that Elijah knew they meant sexy-demeanor and for once that wasn't a problem. He felt heartsick about his conversation with Sean that morning. Clearly Sean had not meant to exacerbate the situation between his daughter and Orlando, and just as clearly he felt terrible that the situation had turned this dire.

I shouldn't have been so hard on him, Elijah thought contritely. What the fuck is wrong with me lately? I'm flying off the handle way more than usual... or necessary.

After a long dinner with his agent he returned to his hotel room and dialed Sean's number but was instantly diverted to voice mail. Sighing, he hung up without leaving a message.

He stripped off his clothes and sprawled naked across the hotel bed, exhaustion seeping through his every pore. He found himself wishing for home, and his eyes burned with sudden tears. He pressed his face into the pillow and sighed. He would have given anything at that moment to have Sean near him and he caught his breath, yearning with all his heart for the protective strength of Sean's embrace. "Damn," he whispered. He turned to look up at the ceiling then shook himself hard. Why am I feeling so sorry for myself? he thought. I need to lighten the fuck up!

He rose long enough to plug in his cell phone to recharge the battery, leaving it on and lying close enough that he could hear it if Sean called, then he lay back down and was quickly asleep.

When he awoke the next morning, he grabbed his phone to check for calls and messages. There were none. He sighed and bit his lip, staring down at the device. Should I call him? he wondered, hesitating. I've got an important meeting this morning. Be fucking horrible to do it after having a big blowout with Sean.

"I'll call him later," he said aloud, then laid the device aside and headed toward the shower.

Meanwhile in Los Angeles Sean was doing the exact same thing. He rose early and immediately grabbed his cell phone to check for calls or messages. There were none, though he noted that Elijah had called but not left a message. Should I call him? he wondered, then sighed and laid the phone back down. He's got a big meeting this morning with those producers, he thought as he headed for the shower. I don't want to distract him.

As he stood in the shower he wondered to himself why Elijah hadn't left a message last night when he called. He immediately interpreted it as an ill omen. Was he was too angry with me to even leave a message? He emerged from the shower feeling a dark cloud settling over his thoughts and tried desperately to shake off the gloom. Stop it! he told himself sternly. You have no idea why he didn't leave a message. Don't turn a molehill into a mountain!

"I'll call him later," he said aloud, and began dressing.