usually when i dream it's always about zombies and 80% of those dreams are scary. but for the past oh week and a half i've been having pretty normal dreams. it feels weird. my dream last night involved jordan and i driving and driving and driving all night and then all of the sudden we were in california. maybe i'm listening to too much metro ( Read more... )

so i keep running into people from my past ( Read more... )

MSI is tonight WOOOT!
i'm really fuckin excited.
it's been well over a year.

pray for no hospital trips.

i'm really confused, about everything.
where i stand.
where they stand.

i regressed to my 15yr old self.
he hurts me more than the other did.

i feel like a bad person. here it is nick's birthday and i'm hanging out with ian tonight.

i feel dirty. and not in a good way. it needs to stop. this has gone way to far.

so i was led to believe that i was no longer attractive to a certain some one. just to find out that it's a fuckin cop out for what ever deep seeded problem he has. it's not fair to toy with me. you tell me i'm beautiful. but can i really believe that?

i'm sick of looking too gothy. i do have to wear black and white to work but i think i might try wearing less of it outside of work. after i move into creekside i'm going to start feeling better about myself(do things to better myself). i'm sick of hiding under layers of black. maybe i'll try to tan alittle. not orange. but maybe just get alittle

i kinda really like him..
i don't know what to do.

..is how long i stayed awake ( Read more... )