Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink

Jun 08, 2013 19:49

Original Post
Rating: PG-13
Character/s: Gwaine, Percival, Princess Mithian
Summary: Gwaine's trying to tell Percival about his night with a woman. Problem is, Princess Mithian's sitting nearby. Set right after 4x11.
Word Count: 298
Prompt: I wanna be your Krakatoa / Let my lava flow all over you / I wanna be your anaconda / And your heat-seeking missile too / I wanna be your beef burrito / Am I making this perfectly clear? / I wanna be your love torpedo / Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here?
A/N: For ag_fics Team Fic Battle.


"I asked if she was in the mood for--" Gwaine glanced uneasily at where Princess Mithian was resting against a tree, watching the stream trickle along nearby whilst they took a rest from her journey home, during which he and Percival were acting as escort. His eyes going back to Percival, he continued, "...a snack."

Percival blinked. "A snack...?"

"Involving sausage," Gwaine said purposefully.

"Oh!" Percival grinned and nodded. "And, was she?"

"She said she only... ate with the best cooks. So I assured her that I was an expert in the, erm, 'kitchen.'"

With a snort, Percival said, "God knows, you're rubbish over a campfire."

Gwaine scratched his head. "Depends on the 'campfire,' mate."

"Ah. Right. Did she, uh, try a nibble, then?"

Gwaine nodded approvingly. "More than a nibble-- a full, twelve-course meal. With dessert."

Percival let out a low whistle. "I take it she did not ask for seconds."

Smiling, Gwaine merely raised an eyebrow.

Mithian got to her feet. "All this talk of food is making me hungry," she announced. Percival choked.

With no irony whatsoever, Gwaine said, "We'll prepare something for you right away, my lady."

"Thank you." Her eyes widening innocently, she said, "I only hope you prove to be as good at cooking as you claim to be at 'cooking.'" With that, she turned and walked toward the stream to stand along the water.

Gwaine managed to pick his jaw up off the ground, and finally gave a laugh. "I fear you will be disappointed, my lady."

"You will be," Percival confirmed.

She glanced at them over her shoulder. "I'm sure that if you apply yourselves, it will prove to be satisfactory."

Gwaine laughed again and started unpacking food from his bag. Percival squinted thoughtfully.

"We are talking about lunch, right?"

*

char: percival, char: gwaine, char: princess mithian, fandom: merlin, rating: pg-13, genre: humor, length: flash fic

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