How Not to Write Your Classified Ad

[rae_beta]

I cannot begin to imagine the thought process that went into the composition of this ad.

I have to admit, though, there's a weird pathos to it. I can't help imagining that he's genuinely trying to be reassuring, and all he really wants to do is play you his Pearl Jam LPs, and, if things go really well, maybe brush your hair.

Anyway, I think we should

Comments

[kouaidou]

Look, clearly this is a man who is up on his sexual assault prevention tips!

[_w_o_o_d_]

I think he's really depressed, and trying to be funny by being "ironic"...

But look at those big puppy eyes ! How can you resist ?

[sharpest_rose]

FOR SALE: Baby shoes, never worn. Will not rape you.

This is clearly the most amazing thing I will read in 2009.

[borrowedwings]

There have been a lot of reports/rumors of rape and murder after someone goes to answer a craigslist ad, so I can kind of see where he's coming from... but I don't think that would be enough to encourage someone who was worried about such things to respond to him.

[rae_beta]

What gets me is less that he says it in the first place than that he seems to feel it's his biggest selling point. It reminds me vaguely of the "Not a Nazi" award I made H. in college (I can't recall why; it seems kind of mean in retrospect, and I remember us both being really entertained by the idea at the time, which is why I then made the thing).

[dragonlilly33]

This is totally going on www.yousuckatcraigslist.com!