PSL: Never Say Lie

[radicalliars]

He's letting that sink in, that Cal would have fired him if he'd taken the check, shifting the blame away from the electronics company, onto a father that was just trying to get to his daughter that slipped on the ice. There's something that catches his breath about this, the way that Cal switches in one beat from yelling at him for losing the

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[facs_lightman]

He was just about to turn and walk away, but something on Eli's face catches his attention and stops him in his tracks. But then it's gone, because Eli turns away fast, he's forcing himself to change, go neutral, go to anything else, and it's gone. He's seen it there before, that same look. That's the part that's maddening sometimes, that drives him to push too hard because seeing something and knowing what it means are two different things.

"Hey," he says, aiming his finger at Eli again, "What was that?" he moves close in that way that he does, side to side like he's edging in as close as he can, and stares up into Eli's face. He can get that look back if he shakes him, if he ruffles him enough to get the neutral shell to break away.

[radicalliars]

He's trying to stay neutral, clinging to it like his life depends on it as Cal points at him, and then he's moving in close, side to side, like he's trying to ruffle him. Eli can't help the way he swallows hard, even knowing that it betrays emotion, but Cal is so close, looking up at him as if he's trying to tear him apart. Eli steps back, but there's no room, nowhere to go, and he ends up with only gaining a half-step and he's pressed against the edge of his desk, and Cal is still too close for comfort.

"Nothing," but it's a lie, obvious, because he can't do this. Not right on the heels of that feeling he's still trying to hide, ducking his head and trying to look away. He wants to get away but there's nowhere to run.

[facs_lightman]

Maybe he wants it to be something. He wonders that sometimes, at other times he sees that look in moments like these. Maybe the confused mix of feelings he has for Eli influence what he sees. Can he even call them feelings? It's interest, it's attraction, but it's more than that. It nags at him around the edges, it's why he wants more from Eli, why he wants to push him. Not because he wants to hone him into the most useful tool he can become, but because he wants to see what he's really made of. If he's really worth wanting. Every time he pushes, he's afraid Eli will show him something he doesn't want to see, and sometimes he does. Sometimes his decisions are bad. That one time

[radicalliars]

He regrets what happened with the SEC. Mostly, he regrets lying to Cal and Foster, dragging Torres in to the middle of what was his mess. He got scared. Terrified of losing this feeling that means too much. He still thinks that hiding the truth to play ball with a scumbag wasn't the right way to do things, either. But, he didn't really have a plan, a way to fix it. Going to the SEC directly like that had been juvenile, lying had been worse