This is really really awful and first I want to say I'm sorry you're dealing with this because you seem like someone a lot of people would want to be friends with. My advice (which you are by no means required to follow :P) is to talk to her. Maybe telling her what you said in this post will make her realize she's been snubbing you and making you feel bad. It is a definite possibility that she is oblivious to this. If you two have been friends for an extended amount of time and hung out a lot, then maybe she feels so secure with your friendship that when you don't always hang out, she assumes things are okaay. I'm not sure if what I last said made sense, but I hope this helps a little and that things get better for you.
Thank you *hugs* I'm so very terrible at confronting people, but I do know that I need to tell her something otherwise this situation will just keeping going around and around. I definitely can't expect her to change when she has been this way since I've known her, so expecting differently is always going to set me up for disappointment; however, I do just really want to be told if plans aren't happening so I'm not left sitting about by myself.
And I assure you, oblivious might as well be my best friends name. I love her dearly, but she is very unaware of a lot of things, so I think that's what happens. I just need to figure out a way to approach her about this without her getting annoyed or making me out to be the bad guy. All very daunting! We've been friends since 7th grade, so almost 8 years now.
Don't look at it as a confrontation, that may help. There's nothing wrong with wanting some notification! :)
Ha, I've had friends like that and giving them a bit of a wake up call of "hey, i'm here!" usually snaps them back. 8 years? That's awesome. Knowing each other for so long will be helpful. Think on it for a bit and find the best way to approach her about this and things will go well. <3
Normally we don't speak about anything more than Harry Potter or what is annoying us, haha, so I'll try to think of it as the first emotional based conversation we've had in a long time :)
I sure hope so! :) Most of my awesome experiences in the past few years have usually included her, I just don't want to be the friend she thinks of as the one who will go with you to these big events and then never really talk to. I don't think we've gotten to that point yet, but its still worrying. So I'm hoping a little talk will set things back into awesome best friend territory :)
And that is truly all I want, is to have just that one day a week I can spend with my best friend. True, she does now have a boyfriend while I remain hopelessly single, and she does tend to have the world revolve around a relationship. So that may be part of the reason.
I sound like an idiot when I think in my head, "I took you with me to go to the Harry Potter premiere, why are you snubbing me after that?" but the thought does pop into my head from time to time.
And thank you, so do I! ♥ I don't think this will ruin our friendship or anything, I should know by know that this is a frequent thing that has happened since I've known her, but it doesn't make me feel any better about it.
I've always been a little shocked to see some of my friends become so dependent on their boyfriends, its a little strange. I always made sure my friends came first when I was dating my now ex boyfriend. *shakes head*
And I am very much trying not to dwell on it; however, with the lovely facebook, it always manages to make me feel worse when I'm reminded that my one best friend doesn't seem to care that we've only seen each other once since mid-July. With a recent message, it seems as if we are no longer carpooling to school, let alone that she wants to even hang out. We are going to be on campus at the same time both Monday and Wednesday, it's so frustrating and with nothing much else going on in my life, I'm tending toward dwelling :(
I've had this happen to me before. It really isn't nice when your friends do this to you, but all you really need to do it talk to her. It probably isn't what you want to do right now, cause I know I sure didn't want to talk to the people that were doing this to me. But you should, because it honestly gets it all sorted out :) All you need to tell her is that you really need to speak about something important, invite her over to your house, and tell her basically exactly what you said here. Honestly sweetie, it will be fine, because she's your friend and she will understand if you explain it all to her :) (p.s. it all turned out fine when I talked to my friends xD)
I really hope you can get all this sorted out *hugs* <3
We both start classes again next week and we are both going to be in the same building on at least the same two days, so I'm hoping at that point I shall actually see her and we can talk :) It all sounds so good written down when I am getting it off my chest, I'm hoping I can convey that as well when I'm actually speaking with her so as to not have her giving me weird looks. But she can be so secretive about things naturally, I just want to be able to have my best friend be able to talk to me about things and not feel like she has to hide that she went somewhere or anything like that.
Even though my advice seems to suck from time to time, I can try to help.
First off, I'm really sorry that this is happening. Awkward gaps in friendships are absolute torture.
You probably want to talk to her. Maybe something happened to her that she's having a hard time dealing with (that was once the case when a friend gave me the silent treatment for a week). If something did happen, she probably just needs support.
If it seems like she's avoiding your got-togethers, you should talk to her about it. She might be upset about something that you might not have realized.
And definetly don't beat yourself up about it. I did that once, and I was a complete emo all over my house for the better part of a week.
My advice might be kind of bad, and I don't really expect you to follow it, but I hope I kid of helped, and I hope you feel better soon.
Your advice is not bad at all ♥ Thank you for even reading the mess that is my tearful ranting up there!
As of right now, as far as I can tell, I think this week was just another case of "I didn't know we had anything planned" and she was helping another friend move. I guess I shall just have to send her a message a week in advance to make sure we do or don't have plans, haha.
She seems perfectly happy, I haven't seen the usual tell-tale sign of emo quotes on her Facebook lately. It just feels like she'd rather spend time with her boyfriend and/or other people. So I'm hoping I can talk to her next week, since we will be in the same building and all for most of the week.
Maybe you guys need to do a little something extra fun, I think, if you think she'd rather spend time with other people. Is there anything that just you two like to do together (Harry Potter Movie Marathon? :D)?
We used to go shopping, go to the movies, we were even planning on baking/cooking something super yummy every Wednesday. However, we decide that and BAM! I never see her. I was actually just told on Facebook that "We'll at least do lunch", a line typically said to just an acquaintance. I just know that I shouldn't be sitting in my room crying whenever this happens. It's so dumb :(
I feel the exact same way right now and it's really aggravating because this girl was my best friend and I'm not really close to any of my other friends anymore so I basically had just her and we used to call every night and meet up regularly. But then we both did backstage for this show and call nights stopped cause we were tired and then we started to get pissed off easily because we were so stressed. Now she's doing this other thing that I'm not which still has long hours so still no call nights and now she's like best friends with this other girl who doesn't like me. I feel the same as you and I don't want to come across as needy and Facebook doesn't help. She's supposed to be extremely busy with this new thing yet "Going to see movie! Tagged Nicole" It's really frustrating :( Hope things improve for you!
That sounds so similar and I'm sorry your going through the same sort of crap *hugs* Facebook always tends to cause me to feel more miserable, it always shows you exactly what friends aren't mentioning to you. Right now instead of another friend, I'm being tossed over for her boyfriend. Without fail, she will never cancel plans with him on Thursdays, but if she has to call off work or anything for another day for something else, she'll choose our one day to hang out over his.
And yeah, I feel so lame because she really is the only friend I hang out with, so its just more frustrating :(
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And I assure you, oblivious might as well be my best friends name. I love her dearly, but she is very unaware of a lot of things, so I think that's what happens. I just need to figure out a way to approach her about this without her getting annoyed or making me out to be the bad guy. All very daunting! We've been friends since 7th grade, so almost 8 years now.
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Ha, I've had friends like that and giving them a bit of a wake up call of "hey, i'm here!" usually snaps them back. 8 years? That's awesome. Knowing each other for so long will be helpful. Think on it for a bit and find the best way to approach her about this and things will go well. <3
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I sure hope so! :) Most of my awesome experiences in the past few years have usually included her, I just don't want to be the friend she thinks of as the one who will go with you to these big events and then never really talk to. I don't think we've gotten to that point yet, but its still worrying. So I'm hoping a little talk will set things back into awesome best friend territory :)
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I sound like an idiot when I think in my head, "I took you with me to go to the Harry Potter premiere, why are you snubbing me after that?" but the thought does pop into my head from time to time.
And thank you, so do I! ♥ I don't think this will ruin our friendship or anything, I should know by know that this is a frequent thing that has happened since I've known her, but it doesn't make me feel any better about it.
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And I am very much trying not to dwell on it; however, with the lovely facebook, it always manages to make me feel worse when I'm reminded that my one best friend doesn't seem to care that we've only seen each other once since mid-July. With a recent message, it seems as if we are no longer carpooling to school, let alone that she wants to even hang out. We are going to be on campus at the same time both Monday and Wednesday, it's so frustrating and with nothing much else going on in my life, I'm tending toward dwelling :(
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I really hope you can get all this sorted out *hugs* <3
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*hugs* thank youu ♥
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First off, I'm really sorry that this is happening. Awkward gaps in friendships are absolute torture.
You probably want to talk to her. Maybe something happened to her that she's having a hard time dealing with (that was once the case when a friend gave me the silent treatment for a week). If something did happen, she probably just needs support.
If it seems like she's avoiding your got-togethers, you should talk to her about it. She might be upset about something that you might not have realized.
And definetly don't beat yourself up about it. I did that once, and I was a complete emo all over my house for the better part of a week.
My advice might be kind of bad, and I don't really expect you to follow it, but I hope I kid of helped, and I hope you feel better soon.
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As of right now, as far as I can tell, I think this week was just another case of "I didn't know we had anything planned" and she was helping another friend move. I guess I shall just have to send her a message a week in advance to make sure we do or don't have plans, haha.
She seems perfectly happy, I haven't seen the usual tell-tale sign of emo quotes on her Facebook lately. It just feels like she'd rather spend time with her boyfriend and/or other people. So I'm hoping I can talk to her next week, since we will be in the same building and all for most of the week.
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I'm also happy to hear that your friend is happy.
Hope this also helps a little! :)
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But then we both did backstage for this show and call nights stopped cause we were tired and then we started to get pissed off easily because we were so stressed.
Now she's doing this other thing that I'm not which still has long hours so still no call nights and now she's like best friends with this other girl who doesn't like me.
I feel the same as you and I don't want to come across as needy and Facebook doesn't help. She's supposed to be extremely busy with this new thing yet "Going to see movie! Tagged Nicole" It's really frustrating :(
Hope things improve for you!
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And yeah, I feel so lame because she really is the only friend I hang out with, so its just more frustrating :(
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