Café Mocha: Chapter Five
Title: Café Mocha: Essential Child Raising Agent
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Genre: Romance, Humour
Rating/Warning/Spoilers: Adult concepts, Possibilities of some strong language, Subtle hints for season three
Summary: One night something unexpected comes through the rift and shocks the team.
In which Ianto finds a part of him he never knew he had, and Jack pervs on babies.
Author's Notes: Kudos to my wonderful beta Aaya, whose help has been immeasurable.
Disclaimer: I own nothing: it all belongs to Russell T. Davies. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Previous parts: 1, 2, 3, 4
In the mean time, Jack had packed the rest of the items into bags and paid for them with the Torchwood company card.
“Come on Ianto,” Jack said with a smile as he watched his lover interact with the baby, “she needs her beauty sleep.”
“What do you mean, she needs her beauty sleep?” Ianto said indignantly, looking at the baby from the side as Jack pushed the trolley, “Are you implying that my baby’s ugly?”
Jack was amused. “Well, she doesn’t need as much as you…”
“You calling me ugly?” Ianto said with a raised eyebrow.
Jack was careful with his response, “I didn’t say that.”
“Well, I’ll tell you what,” Ianto said haughtily, “my daughter is more gorgeous than you on your best day.”
Jack swerved the trolley round and began pushing it towards a bus stop where a woman was sitting. “I’m sorry to disturb you,” he began, attracting the woman’s attention, “but who do you think is cuter? Me or the baby?”
The woman looked slightly confused, and was unsure about how to answer so she went for the safe bet as she slid further away from the two men, “The baby…”
Ianto grinned triumphantly and put the baby back in the trolley as he pushed it away, pulling Jack along with him, “You can stop harassing innocent bystanders now.”
Jack was pouting in despair as he trailed behind, “I’m becoming a kept man. I’m becoming less attractive…”
Ianto rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss to Jack’s lips, “It’s okay; I find you sexy no matter what.”
“No matter what?” Jack parroted with a lecherous grin as he opened the boot and started unloading the goods into the back of the SUV.
Ianto’s voice carried from where he was strapping the car seat into the car, “Well, not when you’re dead, obviously.”
“Obviously,” Jack said amused, and then left the empty trolley in the bay next to the SUV before he climbed into the driver’s seat, “though, I am kinda disappointed.”
“Don’t be,” Ianto said, joking, as he turned round to check on the baby, “can you imagine if you came back from a gunshot wound and found your cock up my arse?”
Jack smiled at how crude Ianto got when he was tired, “That would be a welcome surprise.”
“It’s also highly illegal and frowned upon,” Ianto muttered, “not to mention gross.”
“Does it really worry you when I die?” asked Jack, his attention more on Ianto than the empty road.
Ianto was brutally honest, “Yes. I know it doesn’t really worry you, but every time I see you die I get so worried that you’re luck’s going to run out and you won’t come back. It breaks my heart.”
Jack smiled sadly, his left hand groping for Ianto’s and squeezing it tightly, “Dying isn’t a bed of roses for me either.” He turned his head to flash a smile at Ianto, “The fact that I know you’re there and I’ll wake up in your arms generally makes it all better.”
“Generally?”
Jack’s smile grew to a grin, “Well, feeling loved is one thing, but it doesn’t get rid of a killer headache.”
“It will next time I get a hold of you,” Ianto muttered.
Jack glanced at the baby in the back of the car meaningfully, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Babies take a toll on the sex life off their parents.”
“Fucking travel cot,” Jack muttered as he struggled to assemble the thing which had far too many bars and not enough screws.
In the kitchen, Ianto struggled to stop the baby crying. “I’ve fed you, your nappies dry; what more can I do for you?”
“Hey, Ianto!” Jack called from Ianto’s bedroom, “Try singing to her.”
Ianto sighed, what could he lose? He sat down on the sofa and cradled her to his chest, “Rock a bye baby, in the tree top, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock…”
Back in the bedroom,, Jack threw the bits of the cot into a corner and walked into the sitting room, “Ianto, she’s going to have to sleep in a draw because that cot-”
He stopped seeing that Ianto’s head had lolled to the side on the sofa. He walked round to the front, to see the baby was awake, but staring at Ianto’s face.
“Right, you,” he said as he lifted her out of Ianto’s arms, “we’re going to let Daddy get some sleep.” She began to fuss. “No, no, no,” he whispered as he rocked her, “you’re not going to wake your Daddy up; you are going to either stay awake and be quiet or go to sleep and be quiet.”
She stared at him a moment longer before she yawned and Jack knew she was going to fall asleep soon so he took her into the bedroom.
“You’re going to sleep in here, right here for now.” He placed her flat on the bed and then used the pillows to build a fort around her to stop her rolling around. “I’m going to get your Daddy and then I’ll be right back, okay?”
Jack slid his arms under Ianto, carried him into the bedroom before he stripped him down to his underpants and put him in the bed.
“I’m never going to leave you,” Jack whispered as he stroked Ianto’s hair, “I couldn’t.” He smiled as he remembered the conversation that he had with Ianto earlier. “It would break my heart.”
Then he slipped out the room, and started unpacking and assembling all the things they had bought, so in the morning Ianto would find his flat just the way he liked it when he woke up: tidy.
The baby woke up at five o’clock in the morning, crying and Jack, who had been watching late night (morning) television, hurried into the bedroom to sort her out.
Ianto woke up as Jack had picked the baby up, “What’s happening?”
“Nothing,” Jack cradled the baby in his arms, “you go back to sleep. I’ve got her.”
Ianto nodded sleepily and smiled, “Thanks Jack.”
Jack rocked the baby as he left the room, smiling as she quietened down. “So you’re not hungry…” he checked her nappy, “and you don’t need changing.”
He held up to his face so that their noses were rubbing, “So, why are you awake?” He sighed as she stared at him, and then carefully lay down on the sofa with the baby positioned so that her head was supported and she could see the TV. “Well, it doesn’t matter now. This is BBC Three and this is Family Guy.”
Chapter Six