What's your favorite thing to show out-of-town guests when they come to visit? I have a straight razor, one of those ancient blades you see in black and white movies and sepia-toned pictures your grandfather pulls out with an anxious smile ( Read more... )

Which day of the week do you least look forward to? And which one do you most anticipate?Some time between Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I break into people's homes late at night. I have a lockpicking set, but you'd be surprised how many people leave their doors unlocked at night. I like to wear mittens when I enter. Not because of the fingerprints ( Read more... )

What would your best friend say makes you great? What about your parents or siblings?Well, I would have to be some kind of a psychic to answer this question. And we all know I lack the brain capacity to really achieve any form of psychic ability. Or I could try my hand at genetic alteration but I'm not comfortable playing God. Too many public ( Read more... )

Top o' the morning to you! Has anyone ever pinched you for not wearing green on St. Patrick's Day?If by "pinched" you mean "beat my dog and then proceeded to tie me to my bed and rape me while watching Toy Story 2 on DVD because I never got around to buying the original Toy Story on DVD and my mom made me sell the VCR because it was so outdated, ( Read more... )

What habit of your own annoys other people? Have you ever tried to change it?

I heard from this guy who told somebody that he was annoyed by Alvin speaking in the fifth person.

Do you believe in true love? What about love at first sight?Hmm, I believe in false love, so I suppose there is some chance that the opposite would exist ( Read more... )

What's on your list of dealbreakers when it comes to romantic relationships? I dated this one girl without any toes. She was embarrassed about it. I didn't mind, and I didn't think toes were important anyway. But I guess that only applies to people who don't stand up, and there's a difference between a paraplegic and a girl who doesn't get ( Read more... )

You're packing your bag for that magical desert island that happens to have electricity, a TV, and a DVD player-what five DVDs do you take with you?Instead of the five DVDs, could I have something equivalent? Like a small computer or a tree that grows grilled cheese sandwiches. Because that's where I think science is going these days. The ( Read more... )

Sorry that all I've been posting as of late is Writer's Block questions but there isn't anything about my life to tell at the moment, unless you have any requests. Assuming anyone but Eric still reads these.

What is your personal motto or favorite quotation?

"If you can't fuck 'em, eat 'em." -Aristotle.