Fic: Fool's Gold (Senseless, 4/5)

[qwertyfaced]

Title: Fool's Gold
Author: QWERTYfaced
Fandom: White Collar
Wordcount: ~1100
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Neal Caffrey
Genre: Angst
Notes: Part 4 of 5 of the "Senseless" exercise: hearing. [Depression and Neal!whump.]
Summary: Neal Caffrey always thought he lived by his wits, but then something deprives him of one of his senses. One premise, five

Comments

[reve_silencieux]

Well it seems appropriate that I be the first to review since I've been anxiously waiting for this one!

And wow, it did not disappoint. I'm glad you put in the balance/vertigo issues so it's not just the silence. While not as heart breaking as losing the feeling in his hand or what I envision going blind will be for him, this is as upsetting to read as well. Neal is a very much a people person, always talking, charming, and being the center of attention. Now he's out of the loop, always behind, and quiet. The hunched shoulders was good too. You're always leaning toward the conversation and the action.

Ooh!! The fear and the locks. While I don't experience that, there is always the nerves, the uncertainty that you're going to miss something or be surprised. Very nice touch.

So if you ever want to continue or have another exercise, I'd love to see some comfort and him adapting. :D But I surmise he'll really need comfort after the next one.

And if I didn't say it already, I loved it! Thank you!!!

[qwertyfaced]

So glad that you read this before your hiatus, and thank you! It actually makes me very happy that you didn't find this a huge letdown.

The balance issues, of course, owe a lot to your input. I don't know that I ever would have thought to look up vestibular disorders if you hadn't been so wonderfully helpful. So, much gratitude to you.

As in Parachutes, it occurred to me while I was a-scribbling that Neal probably is used to constant hypervigilance. He wouldn't have stayed ahead of Peter for so long, otherwise. So, might he not become rather nervous and paranoid if he was suddenly missing a huge chunk of data? That's kind of where I was going with that. :)

I do have another exercise in the works, but it won't be the comfort sorely missing from this shameless whumpfest. That may have to come later, though...I'm starting to feel a little bad about consistently beating Neal up and then leaving him all flattened and depressed.

We'll see!

[reve_silencieux]

Oh, not a let down at all! I love where you took it and how it affected him. And of course, you're welcome! I was somewhat selfish, wanting to see this piece ring true rather than the typical 'oh no, I'm deaf, woe is me!' scenario.

Neal's hypervigilance was a brilliant idea and I love how you had him start coping with it. The locks are a baby step, but I see him getting comfortable eventually and taking charge of his life again. He'll learn how to be more aware of his surroundings again.

I'm curious about what you're planning next, but I know it'll be worth the wait. Though I'm not at all opposed to comfort fic! The poor guy has been through a lot.

[qwertyfaced]

Lordee, be selfish all you want if you're going to help me with research! I think we could all do with more of that kind of "selfishness." :)

The new project will be, of course, Peter-and-Neal-centric, because I can't ever quite get enough of our boys. Like I said, though, the comfort fic may have to happen. Neal's certainly waited long enough.

I read a very witty little fic on FF.net called "Sincerely, Neal" that is both a prompt to us fic writers and a highly amusing commentary on the state of fandom. :D Recommended.

[embroiderama]

Oh, wow. You did an amazing job with the whole mood and feel of this--so oppressive--and the details are great.

[qwertyfaced]

Thank you. Your compliments mean a lot, as does the time you generously put into reading and commenting. :)

I think all fiction is in some measure generalization from self...and I find utter silence peaceful at first, then surreal, then almost physically suffocating. I wanted to convey that, and am very glad to hear that this fic may have succeeded in that goal to some extent.

[sapphire2309]

The last line is the best and the worst at the same time. This was fantastically whumpy, though. I could wait forever and can't wait a second for the last one.

[qwertyfaced]

Well, thank you for the read and the Dickensian comment. :) The last one may be postponed because of life until early next week, but it's definitely coming!

[leesa_perrie]

This is, again, wonderful! I love these fics so much! Poor Neal *hugs him* And you've done your research well - I'd never have thought about balance issues.

I also ove how you start and end with the art installation - that last line is just perfect! :)

[qwertyfaced]

Well, thank you!

To be honest, I wasn't at all sure about this entry (and I'm still not), so your feedback is truly and deeply appreciated.

I once saw an art installation that was similar, and I remember how deeply it affected me. It was intense, surreal, and both oddly peaceful and oddly disturbing all at once. It's probably the first time it came home to me how viscerally rooted we are in senses that we normally take for granted. So much of the texture of life is subconscious.

[elrhiarhodan]

This breaks my heart.

It's beautiful and so perfectly written, lyrical in its pain.

Thank you for writing and sharing.

[qwertyfaced]

Well, thank you for reading and commenting. :) I very sincerely appreciate your time.