Comments | qwertyfaced: Fic: Fool's Gold (Senseless, 4/5)

qwertyfaced

Fic: Fool's Gold (Senseless, 4/5)

Aug 06, 2013 16:17

Title: Fool's Gold
Author: QWERTYfaced
Fandom: White Collar
Wordcount: ~1100
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Neal Caffrey
Genre: Angst
Notes: Part 4 of 5 of the "Senseless" exercise: hearing. [Depression and Neal!whump.]
Summary: Neal Caffrey always thought he lived by his wits, but then something deprives him of one of his senses. One premise, five ( Read more... )

white collar, rating: pg-13, genre: angst, neal!whump, genre: genfic, exercise: senseless, character: neal caffrey

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reve_silencieux August 7 2013, 01:44:06 UTC

Well it seems appropriate that I be the first to review since I've been anxiously waiting for this one!

And wow, it did not disappoint. I'm glad you put in the balance/vertigo issues so it's not just the silence. While not as heart breaking as losing the feeling in his hand or what I envision going blind will be for him, this is as upsetting to read as well. Neal is a very much a people person, always talking, charming, and being the center of attention. Now he's out of the loop, always behind, and quiet. The hunched shoulders was good too. You're always leaning toward the conversation and the action.

Ooh!! The fear and the locks. While I don't experience that, there is always the nerves, the uncertainty that you're going to miss something or be surprised. Very nice touch.

So if you ever want to continue or have another exercise, I'd love to see some comfort and him adapting. :D But I surmise he'll really need comfort after the next one.

And if I didn't say it already, I loved it! Thank you!!!

qwertyfaced August 7 2013, 08:00:47 UTC

So glad that you read this before your hiatus, and thank you! It actually makes me very happy that you didn't find this a huge letdown.

The balance issues, of course, owe a lot to your input. I don't know that I ever would have thought to look up vestibular disorders if you hadn't been so wonderfully helpful. So, much gratitude to you.

As in Parachutes, it occurred to me while I was a-scribbling that Neal probably is used to constant hypervigilance. He wouldn't have stayed ahead of Peter for so long, otherwise. So, might he not become rather nervous and paranoid if he was suddenly missing a huge chunk of data? That's kind of where I was going with that. :)

I do have another exercise in the works, but it won't be the comfort sorely missing from this shameless whumpfest. That may have to come later, though...I'm starting to feel a little bad about consistently beating Neal up and then leaving him all flattened and depressed.

We'll see!

reve_silencieux August 7 2013, 14:52:53 UTC

Oh, not a let down at all! I love where you took it and how it affected him. And of course, you're welcome! I was somewhat selfish, wanting to see this piece ring true rather than the typical 'oh no, I'm deaf, woe is me!' scenario.

Neal's hypervigilance was a brilliant idea and I love how you had him start coping with it. The locks are a baby step, but I see him getting comfortable eventually and taking charge of his life again. He'll learn how to be more aware of his surroundings again.

I'm curious about what you're planning next, but I know it'll be worth the wait. Though I'm not at all opposed to comfort fic! The poor guy has been through a lot.

qwertyfaced August 9 2013, 06:16:56 UTC

Lordee, be selfish all you want if you're going to help me with research! I think we could all do with more of that kind of "selfishness." :)

The new project will be, of course, Peter-and-Neal-centric, because I can't ever quite get enough of our boys. Like I said, though, the comfort fic may have to happen. Neal's certainly waited long enough.

I read a very witty little fic on FF.net called "Sincerely, Neal" that is both a prompt to us fic writers and a highly amusing commentary on the state of fandom. :D Recommended.

reve_silencieux August 9 2013, 12:43:32 UTC

Ooh, well I will have to go check that out. 8 hour layover and free wifi so I have the time! I've already emailed myself my brainstorming from my flight so I'll remember. I also couldn't help but think about how deaf Neal would handle some stuff at some point and wouldn't mind exploring more of that myself or just prodding you. Hehe!

qwertyfaced August 9 2013, 20:47:16 UTC

Hmm, I think I'd be more interested to see what you can do with it! I bet it'd be really, really good. Hope your trip is going well!

reve_silencieux August 11 2013, 18:56:02 UTC

Heh, now you're going to prod me, I see it now. But I was asking for it. :-)

Trip is good, feet tired already. Can't help but laugh thinking Neal would be annoyed with us - we're not going to museums. He'd be in heaven here- van gogh museum, Rembrandt... I'd get a kick out of seeing Neal and Peter bickering about what to see.

qwertyfaced August 12 2013, 04:52:17 UTC

Whips or pompoms, my dear, whips or pompoms. ;) Your choice, but I will occasionally poke you! The urge to write, like a chain letter, has to be passed onward.

No museums?! Neal would give you exactly the look featured in your current userpic. I'm sure you'll bring home plenty of memories, though.

And there would be only so many cathedrals and museums Neal would be able to drag Peter to before the inevitable rebellion.

reve_silencieux August 12 2013, 08:56:01 UTC

Oh the ideas are already brewing. But I'll take the pompous over the whips anyway! it will be fun - you write the hurt, I write the comfort. Or adapting as it may be. I remembered last night that one of my deaf friends had a service dog. Can you imagine training satchmo? Hee! Or maybe June getting him his own dog. It will probably take me longer to come up with a dog name than to write the actual fic. Also trying to come up with a sign name for him and maybe Peter too.

Oh, the bickering over museums, churches and FOOD would take on epic proportions. Already I'm hearing Peter every time my dad complains. Oh and they LOVE their beer here. Peter would be happy. Neal.... Not so much, though I'm sure he can still find a good wine.

reve_silencieux August 13 2013, 20:43:55 UTC

Oh you gotta love autocorrect - just saw 'pompous', obviously meant pompoms.

So I came up with a name hours later. Hehe. I can't wait to write this. And to research stuff. Why do we love to research so much?

qwertyfaced August 14 2013, 23:27:08 UTC

Because we are weird, abnormal people. At least we found each other.

...and no joke, when I read your comment, I was reading a list of adulterants commonly found in beer in Victorian London. (Not fic-related. I'm not sure it's anything-related. It's just interesting.)

Pompoms it is: you can do it! :D

reve_silencieux August 15 2013, 22:33:50 UTC

Yes, yes we are. But it's so much fun. And we learn so much!

I am now going to have to look up adulterants because I have no clue what you're talking about. (perhaps because I don't drink beer?)

I just came back from a cruise on the Seine where (Aside from guys mooning us) I saw a ton of people just sitting on the bank drinking. Such a different culture here. Mozzie would love it - one girl waved while drinking from a wine bottle. (and it was nearly midnight - people get some sleep!)

As for fic - I have two different ways to go and I'm not sure how much comfort to give him. We will have to discuss when I get back. I want to keep in the same vein as your fic. But I have plenty of ideas!

qwertyfaced August 16 2013, 05:42:03 UTC

True! I turned up some good stuff today on police/legal procedure that you might find useful, unless you just want to handwave it. (Which, you know, no one actually minds...I'm just nerdy, that's all.)

Adulterants are anything in a product that shouldn't be there. For example, in Victorian London, merchants sometimes added chalk (!) to flour to bulk it out.

People moon cruise ships?! For some reason, I find that more surprising than the late nights and the public drinking...although to be fair, that's mostly because (a) it's me, and (b) I drink in public, at least if you count bars.

Really looking forward to that discussion! I currently have no one to blather on at about fic or WC.

Glad you're having fun, though. :D

reve_silencieux August 16 2013, 22:54:46 UTC

I'm always one for police/legal knowledge. It's actually funny when I know what they do wrong on tv because I took a couple law courses plus my general job experience ( ... )

qwertyfaced August 17 2013, 06:47:00 UTC

Boy, have I got some links for you, then. ;) It's so nice to have someone else who loves the research. Also, I have a relative who's a cop, and I've gotten some resource recommendations from him. I'm just dorky enough to order textbooks for things I will never actually have to know.

I'm guessing you're only seeing a small sliver of the people who drink at night. After all, there are six other nights of the week! :D While I'm not sorry I missed the mooning, it still sounds like a fun vacation moment. I mean, really-are you ever going to forget that?

And have you eaten/done anything weird yet? Time is running out.

I am so looking forward to your being home, much as I envy you your European experience. In an effort to consolidate the comment chain: good gosh, woman, I caught up on WC and had no one to babble at!

Neal, of course, would be happy that you went to the Louvre. :D And I'm not sure why you couldn't do a Neal-in-Europe fic. It would obviously have to be set in the past or the future, but he must have visited ( ( ... )

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