um not going to lie, it was a rough weekend from my point of view. i had more than one large panic attack, while on the planes no less so my claustrophobia kicked in as well and i was in full out panic mode, migranes, earaches, i had way to much family togetherness and a lot of pie. ok the pie Was good. meet a few relatives i never really knew ( Read more... )

i am so mentally and emotionaly exauted. better than i was last night but still feeling funky.

why does it hurt? why does it hurt so unbelivably much? something is so wrong and i dont understand it. i want it to stop now, i dont want to feel like this anymore. it hurts it just hurts, i dont understand, i cant handle all this stuff. school, family, relationships, its to much. i dont want to go to california, i really really dont. people keep ( Read more... )

just when i think im getting back on track, something smacks me in the face and my mind sprials out of control again. people tell me ill get better, ill get over things, things will get easier. its simple to say that from the outside. i love everyone who has supported me but it gets to the point where they just dont know what i'm going through. ive ( Read more... )

unrequited love bites-that is all

All about yourself...the survey.All about yourself...First name?::Mary Middle name?::Colleen Kirk Like your name?::Yes Named after anyone?::Yep, Mary Kirk Any nicknames?::oh yea, to many to list Age?::21 Birthdate?::June 29 1985 Birthplace?::Salem MA Time you were born?::no idea Current location?::Bristol VA Height?::5'8" Like your height?::yes ( Read more... )

Doctor appointment today so see whats going on with my body. they had to take blood which i sort of expected. i always hate it since i had a bad experince years ago. well today didnt go so great either... first they pricked my finger for some test or another which i handeled fine. they stuck me in my left arm where i started bleeding then stopped, ( Read more... )

You Are 47% Feminine, 53% Masculine
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i am so just, just down. i cant even explain all of it. everything seems to be just pressing down on me and i am so afriad to go to that dark place again. fuck. why do things affect me like this and i dont know how to fix it. i was okay until this year and now i feel like i did when i was 16 and that scares me, because i just want to stop now. i ( Read more... )

my cat scan came back clear! yay! no broken head! just cronic tension headaches, which isnt that much fun but still. they took more blood so now i have track marks on both arms and a nice bruise to compliment one of them. i am so going to karate tonight. its been driving me up a wall not being able to go, and i feel like a marshmallow, though i ( Read more... )