Their Happily Ever After (Detective Conan, 2/3)
Their Happily Ever After
~ A Detective Conan/Magic Kaitou Fanfiction ~
by: aishuu
Summary: One of the hardest things is to accept the cards that have been dealt. Ran and Conan, and finding what matters.
Rating: PG-13, some dark ideas, disturbing concepts and sexuality.
Notes: Written for ysabet as a bribe. One more part to come, to be posted next Monday (8/28)
Part Two
She did her best to keep her word, but there were times she felt so alone that she would spent hours in the Kudo library, feeling echoes of his presence. On the particularly bad days, she would read his Sherlock Holmes mysteries while sitting in his favorite chair, but she never developed a real taste for them.
Ironically, she became a fan of Laurie King, whose tales of Holmes' wife Mary Russell kept her enchanted. If Shinichi knew she was reading such derivative work, he would probably throw a fit.
They exchanged Christmas cards, and she noticed how he signed his as "Conan." Before he left, he used to use "Shinichi" in their private correspondence. She saw it as a sign that he really was trying to put his old life behind him - either that, or raise up boundaries between them.
Yukiko proved surprisingly good at correspondence. She wrote monthly, using elaborate and sometimes tacky stationary, but her words were clear and factual. She spoke of her son, of how America seemed to agree with him.
With the less regimented American schools, he breezed through middle and high school in six months, before enrolling in Stanford. He took a double-major, criminology and forensics, and maintained a 4.0 GPA, testing out of many of the prerequisites. He finished in less than two years, and then dropped it all to join a local youth soccer team. In three weeks, he had advanced to the junior national team, allowed to play since "Conan Edogawa" had been born in America.
Yukiko didn't voice her concerns, but Ran knew how to read between the lines. The older woman was worried about Shinichi, about his utter devotion to both soccer and solving mysteries - dead bodies still cropped up in his vicinity with alarming regularity - and how he never connected with other people. Shinichi had been outgoing, but Conan was such an introvert that she hardly recognized him as her son. He didn't make friends though he had plenty of acquaintances and admirers.
Ran wrote words of reassurance in reply, although she knew Yukiko was right to be concerned. Though he had won the war with the Black Organization, he had lost the most important battle; the battle to reclaim himself. It had to have been nearly crippling for the once-confident young man.
One night, feeling daring, Ran performed a net search for "Conan Kudo" and was amazed at the results. She had known he would attract attention - child prodigies had a tendency to - but she hadn't realized he would attract fangirls.
Oh, sure, he'd had them as the Great High School Detective Kudo Shinichi, but that had been different. His fame had been localized, but thanks to the increasing popularity of the web, Conan Kudo was a national phenomenon in the States. Great soccer player, genius-level intellect, and handsome to boot. The number of fan sites made her boggle.
It only took visiting three to convince her that some places were best left unexplored. One fan had created a fictional, highly explicit, romance with Conan and "Mary Sue" as the stars, while another proudly displayed manipulations so skillful that Ran would have believed them real if she hadn't known Shinichi.
She had emailed Yukiko about it, foregoing their usual paper letters, because the idea of "Conan" as an international superstar worried her. There were elements about his background which would ring false if it came under too much scrutiny. Fame was not conducive to secrecy, and no one would believe the truth - that Conan Kudo was in truth Kudo Shinichi, who had been shrunk by poison from an international criminal ring. It was too outlandish to buy, even for the most naive soul.
Yukiko hadn't been concerned, replying later in a coded message written on Hello Kitty stationary. It took Ran a week to figure out the cipher, but Yukiko's words were reassuring. The background created for Conan was the best, Yukiko explained, designed with computers the Agasa had developed using the Hiroki software structure. And a well-known kaitou, who had ties to the Kudo family Yukiko couldn't explain, had seen to ensuring the hard copies were all where they should be.
It was the last line of her message, though, that stuck in Ran's head.
Star talent like Conan's rises to the top, Yukiko wrote back. Some people have so much light it's impossible for them to do anything but shine.
Ran thought on that, and came to accept it as true. No matter what he did, Shinichi was going to do it to the best of his formidable abilities.
It was time for her to do the same. She couldn't spend her entire life waiting for a man - boy - who might never come back. She folded Yukiko's note away, storing it in the small box where she kept most of her mementos of her time with Shinichi, and turned to the business of filling out applications for law school.
When she was in her senior year in college, she met a man who reminded her of Shinichi, at least physically. He had blue eyes and was built on those slender-yet-muscular-soccer-player lines that made so many women swoon. Even his face was similar - the first time she had seen him, she had dropped the coffee she was carrying and stared at him. It was like seeing a ghost, or catching a glimpse at how Shinichi should have looked in his early twenties.
The man had been quite nice about it, since he'd been staring at her, too. He just winked, then mouthed, "stay after class?" to which she had nodded without second thought. She had never believed at "love at first sight," but the way he made her feel made her wonder. When he smiled at her, her insides clenched tightly, and she found herself attracted to the first man since Shinichi.
He had waited by the door for her, and she tilted her head up, gazing at his face. Up close she could see the differences - a slightly heavier jaw, hair more wild than Shinichi's ever was. The eyes, though, were that same brilliant blue she used to dream about.
"You're Mouri Ran, right?" he asked, and his voice was so close to Shinichi's that for a second, she wondered if she'd created him from her memory. There had been times she'd fantasized about meeting Shinichi again, and this seemed like one of those daydreams.
"How did you know?" she asked.
"I always make a habit of learning the names of especially beautiful women," he said, and the flirtation rolled naturally off his lips. He introduced himself, bowed, and offered her a red rose which appeared from nowhere.
They dated for two months, although nothing ever came from it. A couple kisses, a lot of dates, and plenty of good conversation. He was a fascinating individual, one of the smartest she'd ever met (though maybe not quite as bright as Shinichi, a treacherous little voice said at the back of her mind), and he liked her. She liked him, too, but it didn't take long for her to realize that she would never love him. What she liked about him was the way she reminded her of Shinichi, and he was too nice a guy to misuse like that.
It took a lot of soul searching, but eventually she decided that she would have to break it off. She felt badly about it, but it would be worse to mislead him. It had taken two more dates for her to get the courage to break it off.
"This isn't going to work out," she said. They were in the cafe that had become "theirs," enjoying coffee and cake brought by their regular waitress.
"The meal? I have to admit the crumb cake isn't great, but it's still edible-" He was always so humorous, able to make her laugh at the most inane things.
She didn't laugh this time, and his face sobered as she reached across the table to press his hand lightly in her own. "No. I don't think we should see each other anymore. It's nothing you've done, it's just..." she pulled her hand back, trying to find words to explain her situation, and how horrible she felt about using him.
"It's your ex, isn't it?" he asked with the uncanny insight he had. He cradled his head in a hand, and didn't seem disturbed at all.
"Yes," she admitted.
He smiled, slightly sadly as he stared at her face. "Is he coming back?"
"No," she said, the word still containing a full measure of pain as she admitted the truth. "But I'm still in love with him."
"I thought you might be," he replied. "Sometimes I noticed you weren't really speaking to me."
"You look a lot like him," she said. "It's amazing, really."
He cocked his head in the same fashion Shinichi did when he was about to make a point. "They say everyone has a twin," he agreed easily. He didn't seem annoyed about being dumped at all, still the same playful gentleman who she almost fell in love with.
"I hope you're not mad at me," she said. "I really do like you, but... not in the right way."
His shrugged eloquently, relieving her fears that she might have inadvertently promised more than she could give. "I think I might have been using you a bit, too, Ran, and I'm sorry for that. You remind me of a girl I loved," he said.
"Oh?"
He knew her well enough to answer the correct question. "She looked a lot like you, and had a similar temperament." His eyes grew distance, and Ran knew he wasn't seeing her face, but of someone in his mind's eye.
"Why aren't you together?" she asked. She knew that it was impossible for her and Shinichi, which made her hypersensitive to other true loves - and from the way the soft smile was curving his lips, Ran knew he loved his mystery girl.
"She found out I was keeping a secret from her. I don't blame her for hating me - if our situations were reversed, I'd be angry, too." He lowered his gaze to the table, fiddling with sugar packets, juggling them without thinking about it. He had a habit of fidgeting, though his methods could only be classed as unique. He worked part-time as a magician, and was only getting a degree so he could set up his own business.
Once Ran would have been offended on his former girlfriend's behalf, but her experiences with Shinichi had taught her that sometimes things weren't so simple. "Did you have a reason to? I mean, were you keeping a secret because you could, or because it had to be kept?"
"The best reason," he assured her. "Sometimes it's better not to know something at the time. Sometimes the truth can be dangerous, in more ways than one."
She had learned that the hard way; she hoped his experiences hadn't been as brutal as her teenage years, but from his tone of voice, she realized they probably had been. Ran took a sip of her coffee to steady herself before replying.
"If you still love her, you should fight for her," Ran said. It hurt, encouraging him to go to another woman, but not the way it would have if she'd been in love with him herself. "If she knows the truth, you should have faith that she can handle it. If she truly loves you, she will be able to."
His expression flickered, a range of emotions passing over his face too quickly for her to read. Then his face shuttered, like a window shutting. He handed her another rose, one which he'd produced just as miraculously as the first time. It was white this time. "It would have been easier if we could just love each other."
"Why accept a substitute in lieu of the real thing?"
He laughed, and shook his head. "You should call Kudo," he said, throwing money on the table to cover their meal. "I'm pretty sure he still loves you, too."
He kissed her on the cheek, and his smile was so like Shinichi's that for a moment, she had a hard time remember who he was. She didn't bother watching as he left, sitting calmly and finishing her coffee before rising to return to her own home. It was only later that evening that she realized that she had never said Shinichi's name.
She wasn't surprised to find that he'd made a mid-semester transfer, even though she'd never heard of such a thing in college before. He'd been the type who was the exception to the rules, just like Shinichi.
A year and a half later, a wedding invitation arrived for her at her new apartment, announcing the impending nuptials of Kuroba Kaito and a Nakamori Aoko. Ran smiled, and send a card with a polite refusal. The next day, she called Conan and asked him to come back to Japan.
At fifteen, Conan was finally starting to gain centimeters on his height. He was still about three shorter than she was, but in another six months, he'd be the taller of them.
She met him in the airport, and was surprised at how much he looked like the Shinichi of her memories, even with those silly glasses. He was holding a carry on, his head turning as he craned his head around, searching for his ride. He examined all taxi drivers holding signs to no avail. His mother had never arranged the transport in the first place, telling Ran it would be fun to surprise him.
She was reconsidering that "brilliant" idea now that she was standing fifty feet away. What if he didn't really want to see her? What if he was only coming out of obligation, a favor to a friend who he had long since outgrown the need for? For a moment, she considered turning around and walking the other way, but no one had ever called Mouri Ran a coward. There was no way to confront the situation but head-on.
"Conan!" she called, lifting a hand to wave, and he turned toward her. The moment their eyes met, she knew she was still head over heels in love with him, and that he felt the same.
The distance between them disappeared as hasty, long steps brought them together. It had been more than three years since they had seen each other, but they clasped onto each other with familiarity. She buried her face in his shoulder, relieved that he was finally tall enough for her to really, properly hug, and he held her tightly. She was laughing and crying and the same time, and she could feel the slight tremors that rocked his body.
"I'm home," he said, and she had never heard words that were more beautiful.
It was perfect for all of an hour. She held his hand as they went through the airport, not speaking although she had a thousand things to say. It took a while to retrieve his baggage, but she waited patiently, drinking him in with her eyes.
She drove him home in the rental car, pointing out sights which had changed, while he remarked on the businesses he remembered and were gone. On their way, they drove by Tropical Land, which had been converted to a Six Flags resort. Ran was not sorry about that.
Finally they arrived at the Kudo residence, and she helped him with his bags. The Kudo couple hadn't sold the Beika residence, even though maintaining a mansion in Japan with no one residing there was just a financial drain. Ran had kept her promise and looked after it, and was now pleased that her dutifulness had paid off. He would have a place to stay, now that he was back.
She helped him drag his three bags - and oh, how happy she was that he appeared to plan to stay for a while - into the house. The day before she had gone and given the place a good, thorough scrub to remove the dust that had found its way into the unused home. It looked almost exactly like it had when he left, if a person ignored the lack of personal belongings.
"Welcome home, Shinichi!" she said as she opened the door with her key. She smiled at him, expecting him to be relieved.
He didn't smile, remaining quiet until they were inside and the door shut behind them. "Ran, you can't call me Shinichi anymore. I'm Conan," he said. "I've been Conan for eight years, and I'm used to it."
The smile on her face faded, and she stared at him. She wasn't sure if she would ever get used to calling him a different name; what was she to do, now that the disguise had become his reality, and his real self had become a memory?
She decided to change the subject, move it onto something less painful. "Why do you still wear those glasses?" she asked. There was no need for the disguise, and the heavy black frames overwhelmed his face.
"Because they're useful." He pulled them off and handed them over to her. "I can use them to track people, and there's some neat vision functions which help when I'm solving a crime or tracking down a suspect."
She turned them over in her hand and saw a couple of dials which were hidden in the back of the frames. Most likely Agasa's work, she realized. "Do you have any other tools?" she asked.
He grinned at her. "A couple," he said, before showing her a watch, a belt, his shoes, and his cell phone. "Of course, I have a better kit for when I'm on a case, but these do in an emergency."
"You're like James Bond," she said, shaking her head with amazement. "Did the FBI recruit you?" Her question was only half in jest, since she remembered Jodie Saintemillion and Akai Shuichi. Both of them had been dangerous individuals, but smart enough to recognize how special he was. Even if he was only fifteen, there would be a place for someone with his skill set.
"They tried, but I refused," Conan - she had to start thinking of him as that - said. "I don't want to be a part of a large, secretive organization. I think I have a phobia or something."
Most people would have laughed, but the truth was grim enough that she couldn't find the humor. "Do you know what you want to do, then?" she asked.
"I'm going to open a consultation business," he said. "Offer training to police officers, insurance investigators, that type. I'll probably take some cases as well, but I don't want to do too much - I'm going to be working on a novel."
"A novel?" she echoed, raising an eyebrow.
"Father seems to think it might help me deal with my issues," he replied, rolling his eyes. "If it's good enough, he'll get me in touch with his publishers. If it's very good, he's going to talk about me taking over the Night Baron series in a couple of years."
She had never thought of him writing, although he'd be brilliant at it. Probably even better than Yuusaku, once he got the hang of it. "Do you want to?" she asked.
"I don't know what I want anymore, except for you," he said softly, and he was staring into her face.
Ran's breath caught and then she reached out and cupped his face in her hands. Slowly, so he had a chance to stop her, she leaned in to press a kiss against his lips, a gentle romantic kiss that didn't have anything fraternal in it.
He didn't pull away.
They had waited as long as they could, but he'd finally turned sixteen and declared it was time. He proposed to her at Beika Tower after a romantic dinner and night of dancing. It was perfect, and she'd agreed eagerly when he asked her to be his wife.
Her mother had warned her it might not reflect well on them to marry while he was still so young, but they had both been stubborn. They'd been kept apart for ten years due to that blasted apotoxin, and now that he was of legal age, they could finally get married and really devote their lives to each other.
Both sets of their parents were worried about that. Kogorou had long since resigned to the inevitability of their union, but he worried what others would think. He had, with uncharacteristic tact, taken her aside late one night, sharing his concerns over tea.
"Ran, you're ten years older than he is, physically. Most people won't wait for explanations - they'll think you're a cradle robber. If you wait a couple more years, the age difference won't seem so big."
"Dad, we've already waited for ten!" she protested. "I love him, he loves me, and that's what really matters. If the world doesn't like it, well, they can just shove it."
"That's easy to say, but it's hard as hell to live," Kogorou said. "You're too stubborn, girl."
"I know what I want," she replied, setting her chin mulishly.
Her father shook his head. "I knew you'd say that. Listen, Yuusaku and I talked about it, and we can arrange a marriage between you. It might make things a bit easier for both of you, if you can blame your parents."
She felt her temper start to rise. "It's our decision, Daddy. I don't care what they think!"
"Perception is important, Ran. People kill over it," Kogorou said.
"People kill over anything," Ran replied bitterly, her experiences coloring her perspective. "But there's one thing that both Conan and I live for - and that's the truth."
"The truth isn't always an absolute," he replied. "If I can protect you, I will. You may be be an adult, but you're still my daughter." He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He looked old, she thought, old and tired. With a start she realized that his fiftieth birthday was approaching. White strands speckled his once-black hair, and there were more lines around his eyes.
It was his genuine concern over her future that was motivating him - and Conan's. Along the way, he'd acquired a bit of affection for the boy, though it had taken months for him to forgive Conan for the whole "Sleeping Kogorou" mess.
"Daddy, I want to do it by myself. I don't want anyone thinking that others can make my decisions for me."
He had agreed, reluctantly, that she was free to do as she wanted. Later on, she would wish she had listened to his objections more carefully, because he did have a point. But hindsight is 20/20, and she had been too happy to care about appearances.
The wedding was arranged with the help of Eri and Yukiko, who were both excited about the marriage after they got passed their initial concerns. They had dreamed of it for decades, and they spent hours discussing things like joint family vacations and grandchildren. Ran blushed sometimes when they started to hint about married life, since both lacked modesty about the true nature of "marital relations."
It was their fathers that were more reserved, less excited about the impending union. Ran put it off as her father's overprotective streak, and Yuusaku had a way of always being pessimistic. She ignored both of them;she and Conan were in love, and that was what mattered to Ran. Conan seemed to have a similar philosophy, although occasionally he'd fall silent and thoughtful.
Conan told her he'd rent a suit and show up, but everything else was in her hands. His business was doing okay, although it wasn't a smash hit. Many had trouble accepting training from a teenager. He made enough money to support himself, and they planned to move into the Kudo residence - Yukiko and Yuusaku were deeding it to them as a wedding gift. His first novel, a murder-mystery starring a teenage detective, had fetched a hefty advance and a five-book contract. When Ran added her plump salary from her law practice, they would be quite comfortable.
There were thousands of little details to attend to for a wedding, and it was during this time the rumors started. Ran was so caught up in preparations she didn't really pay them much mind.
It was mainly women who indulged in the gossip, most of it less than complimentary to Ran. Some people recalled that she had been Conan's guardian as a child; others remarked on his remarkable similarities to the once-famed Detective of the East, Kudo Shinichi, who had died on a case several years before. The nastiest didn't take anything into account, merely focusing on the age difference between them.
The few times she did hear it, she brushed it aside. Conan, however, would listen to it all carefully, although he never discussed it with her.
The day of their wedding - the first Saturday in September - finally arrived, and they were married in the morning. Sonoko and Heiji were selected as their attendants; Ran would have liked Kazuha as well, but Kazuha was pregnant, and couldn't stand on her feet long enough. They had agreed, gracefully, that Kazuha could sit with Conan's family.
She wore white, an elegant gown she had spent weeks shopping for with Sonoko. He wore white, too, since he disliked the color black. They made a charming pair, their close friends - those that new the truth of Conan's identity - said, but those that didn't were less than thrilled with the union. They played lip service to congratulate them, but their words were less than truthful.
When they were finally pronounced man and wife, she didn't bother to hide her tears.
~ A Detective Conan/Magic Kaitou Fanfiction ~
by: aishuu
Summary: One of the hardest things is to accept the cards that have been dealt. Ran and Conan, and finding what matters.
Rating: PG-13, some dark ideas, disturbing concepts and sexuality.
Notes: Written for ysabet as a bribe. One more part to come, to be posted next Monday (8/28)
Part Two
She did her best to keep her word, but there were times she felt so alone that she would spent hours in the Kudo library, feeling echoes of his presence. On the particularly bad days, she would read his Sherlock Holmes mysteries while sitting in his favorite chair, but she never developed a real taste for them.
Ironically, she became a fan of Laurie King, whose tales of Holmes' wife Mary Russell kept her enchanted. If Shinichi knew she was reading such derivative work, he would probably throw a fit.
They exchanged Christmas cards, and she noticed how he signed his as "Conan." Before he left, he used to use "Shinichi" in their private correspondence. She saw it as a sign that he really was trying to put his old life behind him - either that, or raise up boundaries between them.
Yukiko proved surprisingly good at correspondence. She wrote monthly, using elaborate and sometimes tacky stationary, but her words were clear and factual. She spoke of her son, of how America seemed to agree with him.
With the less regimented American schools, he breezed through middle and high school in six months, before enrolling in Stanford. He took a double-major, criminology and forensics, and maintained a 4.0 GPA, testing out of many of the prerequisites. He finished in less than two years, and then dropped it all to join a local youth soccer team. In three weeks, he had advanced to the junior national team, allowed to play since "Conan Edogawa" had been born in America.
Yukiko didn't voice her concerns, but Ran knew how to read between the lines. The older woman was worried about Shinichi, about his utter devotion to both soccer and solving mysteries - dead bodies still cropped up in his vicinity with alarming regularity - and how he never connected with other people. Shinichi had been outgoing, but Conan was such an introvert that she hardly recognized him as her son. He didn't make friends though he had plenty of acquaintances and admirers.
Ran wrote words of reassurance in reply, although she knew Yukiko was right to be concerned. Though he had won the war with the Black Organization, he had lost the most important battle; the battle to reclaim himself. It had to have been nearly crippling for the once-confident young man.
One night, feeling daring, Ran performed a net search for "Conan Kudo" and was amazed at the results. She had known he would attract attention - child prodigies had a tendency to - but she hadn't realized he would attract fangirls.
Oh, sure, he'd had them as the Great High School Detective Kudo Shinichi, but that had been different. His fame had been localized, but thanks to the increasing popularity of the web, Conan Kudo was a national phenomenon in the States. Great soccer player, genius-level intellect, and handsome to boot. The number of fan sites made her boggle.
It only took visiting three to convince her that some places were best left unexplored. One fan had created a fictional, highly explicit, romance with Conan and "Mary Sue" as the stars, while another proudly displayed manipulations so skillful that Ran would have believed them real if she hadn't known Shinichi.
She had emailed Yukiko about it, foregoing their usual paper letters, because the idea of "Conan" as an international superstar worried her. There were elements about his background which would ring false if it came under too much scrutiny. Fame was not conducive to secrecy, and no one would believe the truth - that Conan Kudo was in truth Kudo Shinichi, who had been shrunk by poison from an international criminal ring. It was too outlandish to buy, even for the most naive soul.
Yukiko hadn't been concerned, replying later in a coded message written on Hello Kitty stationary. It took Ran a week to figure out the cipher, but Yukiko's words were reassuring. The background created for Conan was the best, Yukiko explained, designed with computers the Agasa had developed using the Hiroki software structure. And a well-known kaitou, who had ties to the Kudo family Yukiko couldn't explain, had seen to ensuring the hard copies were all where they should be.
It was the last line of her message, though, that stuck in Ran's head.
Star talent like Conan's rises to the top, Yukiko wrote back. Some people have so much light it's impossible for them to do anything but shine.
Ran thought on that, and came to accept it as true. No matter what he did, Shinichi was going to do it to the best of his formidable abilities.
It was time for her to do the same. She couldn't spend her entire life waiting for a man - boy - who might never come back. She folded Yukiko's note away, storing it in the small box where she kept most of her mementos of her time with Shinichi, and turned to the business of filling out applications for law school.
When she was in her senior year in college, she met a man who reminded her of Shinichi, at least physically. He had blue eyes and was built on those slender-yet-muscular-soccer-player lines that made so many women swoon. Even his face was similar - the first time she had seen him, she had dropped the coffee she was carrying and stared at him. It was like seeing a ghost, or catching a glimpse at how Shinichi should have looked in his early twenties.
The man had been quite nice about it, since he'd been staring at her, too. He just winked, then mouthed, "stay after class?" to which she had nodded without second thought. She had never believed at "love at first sight," but the way he made her feel made her wonder. When he smiled at her, her insides clenched tightly, and she found herself attracted to the first man since Shinichi.
He had waited by the door for her, and she tilted her head up, gazing at his face. Up close she could see the differences - a slightly heavier jaw, hair more wild than Shinichi's ever was. The eyes, though, were that same brilliant blue she used to dream about.
"You're Mouri Ran, right?" he asked, and his voice was so close to Shinichi's that for a second, she wondered if she'd created him from her memory. There had been times she'd fantasized about meeting Shinichi again, and this seemed like one of those daydreams.
"How did you know?" she asked.
"I always make a habit of learning the names of especially beautiful women," he said, and the flirtation rolled naturally off his lips. He introduced himself, bowed, and offered her a red rose which appeared from nowhere.
They dated for two months, although nothing ever came from it. A couple kisses, a lot of dates, and plenty of good conversation. He was a fascinating individual, one of the smartest she'd ever met (though maybe not quite as bright as Shinichi, a treacherous little voice said at the back of her mind), and he liked her. She liked him, too, but it didn't take long for her to realize that she would never love him. What she liked about him was the way she reminded her of Shinichi, and he was too nice a guy to misuse like that.
It took a lot of soul searching, but eventually she decided that she would have to break it off. She felt badly about it, but it would be worse to mislead him. It had taken two more dates for her to get the courage to break it off.
"This isn't going to work out," she said. They were in the cafe that had become "theirs," enjoying coffee and cake brought by their regular waitress.
"The meal? I have to admit the crumb cake isn't great, but it's still edible-" He was always so humorous, able to make her laugh at the most inane things.
She didn't laugh this time, and his face sobered as she reached across the table to press his hand lightly in her own. "No. I don't think we should see each other anymore. It's nothing you've done, it's just..." she pulled her hand back, trying to find words to explain her situation, and how horrible she felt about using him.
"It's your ex, isn't it?" he asked with the uncanny insight he had. He cradled his head in a hand, and didn't seem disturbed at all.
"Yes," she admitted.
He smiled, slightly sadly as he stared at her face. "Is he coming back?"
"No," she said, the word still containing a full measure of pain as she admitted the truth. "But I'm still in love with him."
"I thought you might be," he replied. "Sometimes I noticed you weren't really speaking to me."
"You look a lot like him," she said. "It's amazing, really."
He cocked his head in the same fashion Shinichi did when he was about to make a point. "They say everyone has a twin," he agreed easily. He didn't seem annoyed about being dumped at all, still the same playful gentleman who she almost fell in love with.
"I hope you're not mad at me," she said. "I really do like you, but... not in the right way."
His shrugged eloquently, relieving her fears that she might have inadvertently promised more than she could give. "I think I might have been using you a bit, too, Ran, and I'm sorry for that. You remind me of a girl I loved," he said.
"Oh?"
He knew her well enough to answer the correct question. "She looked a lot like you, and had a similar temperament." His eyes grew distance, and Ran knew he wasn't seeing her face, but of someone in his mind's eye.
"Why aren't you together?" she asked. She knew that it was impossible for her and Shinichi, which made her hypersensitive to other true loves - and from the way the soft smile was curving his lips, Ran knew he loved his mystery girl.
"She found out I was keeping a secret from her. I don't blame her for hating me - if our situations were reversed, I'd be angry, too." He lowered his gaze to the table, fiddling with sugar packets, juggling them without thinking about it. He had a habit of fidgeting, though his methods could only be classed as unique. He worked part-time as a magician, and was only getting a degree so he could set up his own business.
Once Ran would have been offended on his former girlfriend's behalf, but her experiences with Shinichi had taught her that sometimes things weren't so simple. "Did you have a reason to? I mean, were you keeping a secret because you could, or because it had to be kept?"
"The best reason," he assured her. "Sometimes it's better not to know something at the time. Sometimes the truth can be dangerous, in more ways than one."
She had learned that the hard way; she hoped his experiences hadn't been as brutal as her teenage years, but from his tone of voice, she realized they probably had been. Ran took a sip of her coffee to steady herself before replying.
"If you still love her, you should fight for her," Ran said. It hurt, encouraging him to go to another woman, but not the way it would have if she'd been in love with him herself. "If she knows the truth, you should have faith that she can handle it. If she truly loves you, she will be able to."
His expression flickered, a range of emotions passing over his face too quickly for her to read. Then his face shuttered, like a window shutting. He handed her another rose, one which he'd produced just as miraculously as the first time. It was white this time. "It would have been easier if we could just love each other."
"Why accept a substitute in lieu of the real thing?"
He laughed, and shook his head. "You should call Kudo," he said, throwing money on the table to cover their meal. "I'm pretty sure he still loves you, too."
He kissed her on the cheek, and his smile was so like Shinichi's that for a moment, she had a hard time remember who he was. She didn't bother watching as he left, sitting calmly and finishing her coffee before rising to return to her own home. It was only later that evening that she realized that she had never said Shinichi's name.
She wasn't surprised to find that he'd made a mid-semester transfer, even though she'd never heard of such a thing in college before. He'd been the type who was the exception to the rules, just like Shinichi.
A year and a half later, a wedding invitation arrived for her at her new apartment, announcing the impending nuptials of Kuroba Kaito and a Nakamori Aoko. Ran smiled, and send a card with a polite refusal. The next day, she called Conan and asked him to come back to Japan.
At fifteen, Conan was finally starting to gain centimeters on his height. He was still about three shorter than she was, but in another six months, he'd be the taller of them.
She met him in the airport, and was surprised at how much he looked like the Shinichi of her memories, even with those silly glasses. He was holding a carry on, his head turning as he craned his head around, searching for his ride. He examined all taxi drivers holding signs to no avail. His mother had never arranged the transport in the first place, telling Ran it would be fun to surprise him.
She was reconsidering that "brilliant" idea now that she was standing fifty feet away. What if he didn't really want to see her? What if he was only coming out of obligation, a favor to a friend who he had long since outgrown the need for? For a moment, she considered turning around and walking the other way, but no one had ever called Mouri Ran a coward. There was no way to confront the situation but head-on.
"Conan!" she called, lifting a hand to wave, and he turned toward her. The moment their eyes met, she knew she was still head over heels in love with him, and that he felt the same.
The distance between them disappeared as hasty, long steps brought them together. It had been more than three years since they had seen each other, but they clasped onto each other with familiarity. She buried her face in his shoulder, relieved that he was finally tall enough for her to really, properly hug, and he held her tightly. She was laughing and crying and the same time, and she could feel the slight tremors that rocked his body.
"I'm home," he said, and she had never heard words that were more beautiful.
It was perfect for all of an hour. She held his hand as they went through the airport, not speaking although she had a thousand things to say. It took a while to retrieve his baggage, but she waited patiently, drinking him in with her eyes.
She drove him home in the rental car, pointing out sights which had changed, while he remarked on the businesses he remembered and were gone. On their way, they drove by Tropical Land, which had been converted to a Six Flags resort. Ran was not sorry about that.
Finally they arrived at the Kudo residence, and she helped him with his bags. The Kudo couple hadn't sold the Beika residence, even though maintaining a mansion in Japan with no one residing there was just a financial drain. Ran had kept her promise and looked after it, and was now pleased that her dutifulness had paid off. He would have a place to stay, now that he was back.
She helped him drag his three bags - and oh, how happy she was that he appeared to plan to stay for a while - into the house. The day before she had gone and given the place a good, thorough scrub to remove the dust that had found its way into the unused home. It looked almost exactly like it had when he left, if a person ignored the lack of personal belongings.
"Welcome home, Shinichi!" she said as she opened the door with her key. She smiled at him, expecting him to be relieved.
He didn't smile, remaining quiet until they were inside and the door shut behind them. "Ran, you can't call me Shinichi anymore. I'm Conan," he said. "I've been Conan for eight years, and I'm used to it."
The smile on her face faded, and she stared at him. She wasn't sure if she would ever get used to calling him a different name; what was she to do, now that the disguise had become his reality, and his real self had become a memory?
She decided to change the subject, move it onto something less painful. "Why do you still wear those glasses?" she asked. There was no need for the disguise, and the heavy black frames overwhelmed his face.
"Because they're useful." He pulled them off and handed them over to her. "I can use them to track people, and there's some neat vision functions which help when I'm solving a crime or tracking down a suspect."
She turned them over in her hand and saw a couple of dials which were hidden in the back of the frames. Most likely Agasa's work, she realized. "Do you have any other tools?" she asked.
He grinned at her. "A couple," he said, before showing her a watch, a belt, his shoes, and his cell phone. "Of course, I have a better kit for when I'm on a case, but these do in an emergency."
"You're like James Bond," she said, shaking her head with amazement. "Did the FBI recruit you?" Her question was only half in jest, since she remembered Jodie Saintemillion and Akai Shuichi. Both of them had been dangerous individuals, but smart enough to recognize how special he was. Even if he was only fifteen, there would be a place for someone with his skill set.
"They tried, but I refused," Conan - she had to start thinking of him as that - said. "I don't want to be a part of a large, secretive organization. I think I have a phobia or something."
Most people would have laughed, but the truth was grim enough that she couldn't find the humor. "Do you know what you want to do, then?" she asked.
"I'm going to open a consultation business," he said. "Offer training to police officers, insurance investigators, that type. I'll probably take some cases as well, but I don't want to do too much - I'm going to be working on a novel."
"A novel?" she echoed, raising an eyebrow.
"Father seems to think it might help me deal with my issues," he replied, rolling his eyes. "If it's good enough, he'll get me in touch with his publishers. If it's very good, he's going to talk about me taking over the Night Baron series in a couple of years."
She had never thought of him writing, although he'd be brilliant at it. Probably even better than Yuusaku, once he got the hang of it. "Do you want to?" she asked.
"I don't know what I want anymore, except for you," he said softly, and he was staring into her face.
Ran's breath caught and then she reached out and cupped his face in her hands. Slowly, so he had a chance to stop her, she leaned in to press a kiss against his lips, a gentle romantic kiss that didn't have anything fraternal in it.
He didn't pull away.
They had waited as long as they could, but he'd finally turned sixteen and declared it was time. He proposed to her at Beika Tower after a romantic dinner and night of dancing. It was perfect, and she'd agreed eagerly when he asked her to be his wife.
Her mother had warned her it might not reflect well on them to marry while he was still so young, but they had both been stubborn. They'd been kept apart for ten years due to that blasted apotoxin, and now that he was of legal age, they could finally get married and really devote their lives to each other.
Both sets of their parents were worried about that. Kogorou had long since resigned to the inevitability of their union, but he worried what others would think. He had, with uncharacteristic tact, taken her aside late one night, sharing his concerns over tea.
"Ran, you're ten years older than he is, physically. Most people won't wait for explanations - they'll think you're a cradle robber. If you wait a couple more years, the age difference won't seem so big."
"Dad, we've already waited for ten!" she protested. "I love him, he loves me, and that's what really matters. If the world doesn't like it, well, they can just shove it."
"That's easy to say, but it's hard as hell to live," Kogorou said. "You're too stubborn, girl."
"I know what I want," she replied, setting her chin mulishly.
Her father shook his head. "I knew you'd say that. Listen, Yuusaku and I talked about it, and we can arrange a marriage between you. It might make things a bit easier for both of you, if you can blame your parents."
She felt her temper start to rise. "It's our decision, Daddy. I don't care what they think!"
"Perception is important, Ran. People kill over it," Kogorou said.
"People kill over anything," Ran replied bitterly, her experiences coloring her perspective. "But there's one thing that both Conan and I live for - and that's the truth."
"The truth isn't always an absolute," he replied. "If I can protect you, I will. You may be be an adult, but you're still my daughter." He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He looked old, she thought, old and tired. With a start she realized that his fiftieth birthday was approaching. White strands speckled his once-black hair, and there were more lines around his eyes.
It was his genuine concern over her future that was motivating him - and Conan's. Along the way, he'd acquired a bit of affection for the boy, though it had taken months for him to forgive Conan for the whole "Sleeping Kogorou" mess.
"Daddy, I want to do it by myself. I don't want anyone thinking that others can make my decisions for me."
He had agreed, reluctantly, that she was free to do as she wanted. Later on, she would wish she had listened to his objections more carefully, because he did have a point. But hindsight is 20/20, and she had been too happy to care about appearances.
The wedding was arranged with the help of Eri and Yukiko, who were both excited about the marriage after they got passed their initial concerns. They had dreamed of it for decades, and they spent hours discussing things like joint family vacations and grandchildren. Ran blushed sometimes when they started to hint about married life, since both lacked modesty about the true nature of "marital relations."
It was their fathers that were more reserved, less excited about the impending union. Ran put it off as her father's overprotective streak, and Yuusaku had a way of always being pessimistic. She ignored both of them;she and Conan were in love, and that was what mattered to Ran. Conan seemed to have a similar philosophy, although occasionally he'd fall silent and thoughtful.
Conan told her he'd rent a suit and show up, but everything else was in her hands. His business was doing okay, although it wasn't a smash hit. Many had trouble accepting training from a teenager. He made enough money to support himself, and they planned to move into the Kudo residence - Yukiko and Yuusaku were deeding it to them as a wedding gift. His first novel, a murder-mystery starring a teenage detective, had fetched a hefty advance and a five-book contract. When Ran added her plump salary from her law practice, they would be quite comfortable.
There were thousands of little details to attend to for a wedding, and it was during this time the rumors started. Ran was so caught up in preparations she didn't really pay them much mind.
It was mainly women who indulged in the gossip, most of it less than complimentary to Ran. Some people recalled that she had been Conan's guardian as a child; others remarked on his remarkable similarities to the once-famed Detective of the East, Kudo Shinichi, who had died on a case several years before. The nastiest didn't take anything into account, merely focusing on the age difference between them.
The few times she did hear it, she brushed it aside. Conan, however, would listen to it all carefully, although he never discussed it with her.
The day of their wedding - the first Saturday in September - finally arrived, and they were married in the morning. Sonoko and Heiji were selected as their attendants; Ran would have liked Kazuha as well, but Kazuha was pregnant, and couldn't stand on her feet long enough. They had agreed, gracefully, that Kazuha could sit with Conan's family.
She wore white, an elegant gown she had spent weeks shopping for with Sonoko. He wore white, too, since he disliked the color black. They made a charming pair, their close friends - those that new the truth of Conan's identity - said, but those that didn't were less than thrilled with the union. They played lip service to congratulate them, but their words were less than truthful.
When they were finally pronounced man and wife, she didn't bother to hide her tears.