Fic: Depths of the Soul, 4/17, Obidala, M
Title: Depths of the Soul
Author: queen_meep
Pairing: Obi-Wan/Padme
Rating: M, contains sexual situations
Status: Complete
Original Beginning Date: 10-03-05
Original Completion Date: 04-16-06
Prequel: A Search For Wings: Fallen Angel
Summary: Continuation of A Search for Wings: Fallen Angel. AnakinObidala. Post ROTS, AU, ObiWan struggles with inner turmoil at the new developments of Endor, and Darth Vader waits to claim his ultimate revenge. (As originally posted from ff.net)
Originally posted here.
Back to the index post.
Chapter 4 - The Premonition
In the confines of his personal ship, Darth Vader felt the disturbance in the Force, felt the bubbling up of Dark Side power. He knew immediately that it had to be Obi-Wan, and grinned inside his mask. He reached out in the Force, searching for the source, for his old Master. The feelings were not difficult to follow; it was nearly as if Obi-Wan’s soul was screaming out in agony.
He probed gently, so as not to disturb his former Master abruptly and scare him away. He sought their old training bond, finding his way to Obi-Wan easily. He noticed the Jedi had finally gone to sleep, by the time Vader had found his way to him. But the sleep would only make his goal easier. Obi-Wan’s demons needed to be encouraged; Darth Vader would lead him to the Dark Side.
Vader fed memory after memory of his own premonition dream to Obi-Wan, steeling himself as he recalled the images of Padmé crying out in pain as she died giving birth, begging for help. He blocked out his own feelings on the dream, letting Obi-Wan experience it as if it had been his own premonition, and not Anakin’s.
Obi-Wan’s unconscious self struggled with the images, trying to push them away. But the Sith Lord stepped in, presenting himself to Obi-Wan in his old image, as Anakin Skywalker. The shock was apparent and Obi-Wan manifested his own image, to deal with him. She will not die, Anakin. Obi-Wan stated, sweat on his brow from experiencing the dream.
Darth Vader laughed, his mental image sitting down beside his old Master. You old fool, don’t you see? This is destiny. Neither one of us are meant to have her. He tried to remain calm about the entire matter, while inwardly what he still carried around of Anakin Skywalker was screaming.
You had your chance. Obi-Wan nearly spat it out, remembering the anguish that Padmé had undergone after losing Anakin. He was dead to them both, he was talking to Darth Vader who had killed his best friend and brother.
The laugh reverberated through Obi-Wan’s head again. Vader was taunting him with memories of his old friend, reminding him of the happier times. He stood up, faced Obi-Wan. She was my wife, Obi-Wan. My wife. The intensity of his words lit up his face, Obi-Wan could see the Dark Side moving back to Anakin’s face.
The words also sparked feelings of guilt in Obi-Wan, his gut twinging. He could not imagine the feelings Anakin must have experienced upon learning of their betrayal. The new feelings found him knowing what he would have done if the situation was reversed. In horror, he realized that he would be running Anakin through if the situation had indeed been reversed.
But, instead, the Sith Lord was nonchalantly staring at him. He did not understand. He realized Anakin must have been a greater man than he, to not be hell bent on Obi-Wan’s destruction. Obi-Wan remained silent, staring at his former Apprentice. The power seemed to radiate about him, just as it had before his downward spiral towards the Dark Side. He watched in awe as Vader continued. But there is the power to save her, Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan cocked his brow, But she does not need saving. And you just want her for yourself! He accused vehemently.
Darth Vader shook his head, acting amused. You don’t get it, do you? I had that same premonition that I showed you a few nights before I found you on Endor. It had not changed. I was not positive that she was alive. Yet here she is, pregnant again, and I had it again. Obi-Wan, when I dreamt of my mother dying, it came true. This will happen. That is, if you don’t do something about it. And I don’t want her for myself- you were right. Padmé rejected me when I killed the younglings. And, he added silently, in self-pity, she does not want a man stuck in a suit for survival.
Obi-Wan looked away from him, contemplating what he had said. You had the premonition again? How long have you been having it?
As Anakin, he looked away, but let a little of the pain show for Obi-Wan, knowing his old Master shared the same understanding of the dream. Every night since I learned of her pregnancy with our child.
Obi-Wan looked back at him in horror, apprehension filling him. He could not imagine having to live with the dream every night, it would consume him. And he assumed that’s exactly what it had done to Anakin- consumed him. I am so sorry.
Darth Vader shook his head, looking to him intensely. All that is left now is to save her. If you love her, you will.
The Jedi shook his own head feebly, If she is meant to die, how do you stop fate?
Anakin’s intense eyes lit up as he replied, There are powers that the Dark Side can teach you to delay death, prolong life. He paused. Stop fate.
Obi-Wan looked at him, skeptically, But how?
These are not powers that you learn in the Jedi Temple. But I can teach them to you. He held his former Master’s stare.
Obi-Wan did not know what to think at first. He had always been against everything that the Dark Side stood for, but was now beginning to wonder if the black and white explanations of Light and Dark that he had learned as a Padawan were perhaps not as defined. If the Dark Side had the power to save Padmé, could they truly be so bad? But how do I know you’re not lying? He inquired.
Vader shrugged, not breaking eye contact with Obi-Wan. I have not yet lied to you. You left me for dead on Mustafar, yet I am still alive. I had the premonition of Padmé dying, and yet she is still alive. Apparently, it must be working. He kept the knowledge that Palpatine was the true reason that he was alive, and that he was still not confident that anything could delay Padmé’s death any further.
Obi-Wan turned from him, thinking on the matter. Anakin put a hand to his shoulder, looked away. I will let you think on it. It is not an easy decision to make, since it goes against everything you have learned thus far. But the feelings that you are experiencing are not easy to handle, either, for that matter. The Jedi were wrong, Obi-Wan. Love is a wonderful emotion, it should not, and can not, be denied. With that, he let Obi-Wan fall back into his slumber. And he chuckled, convinced he had actually made his point to Obi-Wan. He had actually learned a thing or two about diplomacy and convincing others before resorting to aggressive negotiations.
Obi-Wan woke the next morning with a cold sweat on his body, the dream and his discussion with Darth Vader lingering in his mind. He turned instantly to Padmé, who was still asleep at his side. He smiled tenderly, watching the way her curls spilled over her pillow and her arm tucked the covers to her abdomen subconsciously. As he did every morning, he went to feel the Force presence of his growing child, hoping that one day he would start forming a bond with the young life. It still awed him that he had created this tiny presence, this new life.
His thoughts strayed back to the topics that he had discussed with his former Apprentice. He knew a few months prior he would not even consider the discussion, would not even contemplate the choice of learning from the Dark Side. But, there were other factors to consider.
Obi-Wan did not understand how prolonging life could be a Dark power, one that was forbidden to the Jedi. It had to be that the Sith Lord had learned it and was using it for his own gain, not the betterment of others. But, his Jedi training reminded him that any betterment of others was also a gain for one’s self, if the person was attached to you.
It came back to the ancient words of the Code, against attachment. But how true were they? Obi-Wan had never needed to question why, to understand the reasoning, until now. He still understood how it could lead to Dark emotions, but understood too that once the seeds of love were planted, he could not eradicate them. Even with the knowledge of the Code that he had lived by for so long had not been enough to keep his feelings from Padmé from showing themselves and growing, full force.
The only way to get to the root of this, he determined, was to spend time away from all distractions, by himself, and meditate. He had still not been able to do that with Padmé around. And there was a certain young infant that he needed to check on, to verify that he was still safe. Bail had confirmed Leia’s health and safety, but Obi-Wan had not been able to reach Owen on Tatooine to check on Luke.
He did not want to wait until she woke to leave, in case she wanted to come along. He could not have her learning the location of her son, nor could he risk not having his solitude. It was already a risk enough to visit Luke. He jotted down a quick note, not sure how to let the love of his life know that he needed time alone, needed space. It sounded like a pathetic line he would hear on the gossip channels.
He left the note, promising to return quickly, and left for Tatooine.
Back to the index post.
Author: queen_meep
Pairing: Obi-Wan/Padme
Rating: M, contains sexual situations
Status: Complete
Original Beginning Date: 10-03-05
Original Completion Date: 04-16-06
Prequel: A Search For Wings: Fallen Angel
Summary: Continuation of A Search for Wings: Fallen Angel. AnakinObidala. Post ROTS, AU, ObiWan struggles with inner turmoil at the new developments of Endor, and Darth Vader waits to claim his ultimate revenge. (As originally posted from ff.net)
Originally posted here.
Back to the index post.
Chapter 4 - The Premonition
In the confines of his personal ship, Darth Vader felt the disturbance in the Force, felt the bubbling up of Dark Side power. He knew immediately that it had to be Obi-Wan, and grinned inside his mask. He reached out in the Force, searching for the source, for his old Master. The feelings were not difficult to follow; it was nearly as if Obi-Wan’s soul was screaming out in agony.
He probed gently, so as not to disturb his former Master abruptly and scare him away. He sought their old training bond, finding his way to Obi-Wan easily. He noticed the Jedi had finally gone to sleep, by the time Vader had found his way to him. But the sleep would only make his goal easier. Obi-Wan’s demons needed to be encouraged; Darth Vader would lead him to the Dark Side.
Vader fed memory after memory of his own premonition dream to Obi-Wan, steeling himself as he recalled the images of Padmé crying out in pain as she died giving birth, begging for help. He blocked out his own feelings on the dream, letting Obi-Wan experience it as if it had been his own premonition, and not Anakin’s.
Obi-Wan’s unconscious self struggled with the images, trying to push them away. But the Sith Lord stepped in, presenting himself to Obi-Wan in his old image, as Anakin Skywalker. The shock was apparent and Obi-Wan manifested his own image, to deal with him. She will not die, Anakin. Obi-Wan stated, sweat on his brow from experiencing the dream.
Darth Vader laughed, his mental image sitting down beside his old Master. You old fool, don’t you see? This is destiny. Neither one of us are meant to have her. He tried to remain calm about the entire matter, while inwardly what he still carried around of Anakin Skywalker was screaming.
You had your chance. Obi-Wan nearly spat it out, remembering the anguish that Padmé had undergone after losing Anakin. He was dead to them both, he was talking to Darth Vader who had killed his best friend and brother.
The laugh reverberated through Obi-Wan’s head again. Vader was taunting him with memories of his old friend, reminding him of the happier times. He stood up, faced Obi-Wan. She was my wife, Obi-Wan. My wife. The intensity of his words lit up his face, Obi-Wan could see the Dark Side moving back to Anakin’s face.
The words also sparked feelings of guilt in Obi-Wan, his gut twinging. He could not imagine the feelings Anakin must have experienced upon learning of their betrayal. The new feelings found him knowing what he would have done if the situation was reversed. In horror, he realized that he would be running Anakin through if the situation had indeed been reversed.
But, instead, the Sith Lord was nonchalantly staring at him. He did not understand. He realized Anakin must have been a greater man than he, to not be hell bent on Obi-Wan’s destruction. Obi-Wan remained silent, staring at his former Apprentice. The power seemed to radiate about him, just as it had before his downward spiral towards the Dark Side. He watched in awe as Vader continued. But there is the power to save her, Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan cocked his brow, But she does not need saving. And you just want her for yourself! He accused vehemently.
Darth Vader shook his head, acting amused. You don’t get it, do you? I had that same premonition that I showed you a few nights before I found you on Endor. It had not changed. I was not positive that she was alive. Yet here she is, pregnant again, and I had it again. Obi-Wan, when I dreamt of my mother dying, it came true. This will happen. That is, if you don’t do something about it. And I don’t want her for myself- you were right. Padmé rejected me when I killed the younglings. And, he added silently, in self-pity, she does not want a man stuck in a suit for survival.
Obi-Wan looked away from him, contemplating what he had said. You had the premonition again? How long have you been having it?
As Anakin, he looked away, but let a little of the pain show for Obi-Wan, knowing his old Master shared the same understanding of the dream. Every night since I learned of her pregnancy with our child.
Obi-Wan looked back at him in horror, apprehension filling him. He could not imagine having to live with the dream every night, it would consume him. And he assumed that’s exactly what it had done to Anakin- consumed him. I am so sorry.
Darth Vader shook his head, looking to him intensely. All that is left now is to save her. If you love her, you will.
The Jedi shook his own head feebly, If she is meant to die, how do you stop fate?
Anakin’s intense eyes lit up as he replied, There are powers that the Dark Side can teach you to delay death, prolong life. He paused. Stop fate.
Obi-Wan looked at him, skeptically, But how?
These are not powers that you learn in the Jedi Temple. But I can teach them to you. He held his former Master’s stare.
Obi-Wan did not know what to think at first. He had always been against everything that the Dark Side stood for, but was now beginning to wonder if the black and white explanations of Light and Dark that he had learned as a Padawan were perhaps not as defined. If the Dark Side had the power to save Padmé, could they truly be so bad? But how do I know you’re not lying? He inquired.
Vader shrugged, not breaking eye contact with Obi-Wan. I have not yet lied to you. You left me for dead on Mustafar, yet I am still alive. I had the premonition of Padmé dying, and yet she is still alive. Apparently, it must be working. He kept the knowledge that Palpatine was the true reason that he was alive, and that he was still not confident that anything could delay Padmé’s death any further.
Obi-Wan turned from him, thinking on the matter. Anakin put a hand to his shoulder, looked away. I will let you think on it. It is not an easy decision to make, since it goes against everything you have learned thus far. But the feelings that you are experiencing are not easy to handle, either, for that matter. The Jedi were wrong, Obi-Wan. Love is a wonderful emotion, it should not, and can not, be denied. With that, he let Obi-Wan fall back into his slumber. And he chuckled, convinced he had actually made his point to Obi-Wan. He had actually learned a thing or two about diplomacy and convincing others before resorting to aggressive negotiations.
Obi-Wan woke the next morning with a cold sweat on his body, the dream and his discussion with Darth Vader lingering in his mind. He turned instantly to Padmé, who was still asleep at his side. He smiled tenderly, watching the way her curls spilled over her pillow and her arm tucked the covers to her abdomen subconsciously. As he did every morning, he went to feel the Force presence of his growing child, hoping that one day he would start forming a bond with the young life. It still awed him that he had created this tiny presence, this new life.
His thoughts strayed back to the topics that he had discussed with his former Apprentice. He knew a few months prior he would not even consider the discussion, would not even contemplate the choice of learning from the Dark Side. But, there were other factors to consider.
Obi-Wan did not understand how prolonging life could be a Dark power, one that was forbidden to the Jedi. It had to be that the Sith Lord had learned it and was using it for his own gain, not the betterment of others. But, his Jedi training reminded him that any betterment of others was also a gain for one’s self, if the person was attached to you.
It came back to the ancient words of the Code, against attachment. But how true were they? Obi-Wan had never needed to question why, to understand the reasoning, until now. He still understood how it could lead to Dark emotions, but understood too that once the seeds of love were planted, he could not eradicate them. Even with the knowledge of the Code that he had lived by for so long had not been enough to keep his feelings from Padmé from showing themselves and growing, full force.
The only way to get to the root of this, he determined, was to spend time away from all distractions, by himself, and meditate. He had still not been able to do that with Padmé around. And there was a certain young infant that he needed to check on, to verify that he was still safe. Bail had confirmed Leia’s health and safety, but Obi-Wan had not been able to reach Owen on Tatooine to check on Luke.
He did not want to wait until she woke to leave, in case she wanted to come along. He could not have her learning the location of her son, nor could he risk not having his solitude. It was already a risk enough to visit Luke. He jotted down a quick note, not sure how to let the love of his life know that he needed time alone, needed space. It sounded like a pathetic line he would hear on the gossip channels.
He left the note, promising to return quickly, and left for Tatooine.
Back to the index post.