(Untitled)

[quasigeek]

I never considered that I had anxiety. All my life everyone convinced me that I was "shy," and that was my excuse for not talking in public or clamming up when people spoke to me. But here's the clincher: I never felt shy. I always wanted to talk and be part of a group, but my profuse sweating and nervous stomach got the better of me. When I got

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[raphiael]

I have social anxiety. A lot of times people do read it as just "normal shyness". And the difference is really how it feels. There's nervousness and introversion, and that's fine. But when it feels like it interferes with your life, like you can't enjoy what you want to because you panic or feel sick with bad thoughts? That's not normal, and you really can tell the difference. People outside you might not be able to, because there's a tendency to hide exactly how freaked out you are

[quasigeek]

You almost made me cry because I literally flailed to see that people (ie, you) like hanging out with me. *hides under desk*

Part of why it took me so long to decide whether to go this weekend was the whole back-and-forth, "do I really want to go to another crowded convention center" vs. "but my nerds." And when you're hanging out with other anxious-type people they get it when you need to take a breather, so I was okay.

This is actually why I want to go to acupuncture, because I think it'll help. I don't want to do the medication route. I don't even like taking painkillers.Some days are better than others, obviously, but there are moments that I'd rather stay home than go out and do something I'd probably enjoy. And I'm aware how stupid that is, which makes it worse.

Bah, why can't my brain just cooperate with me.

[raphiael]

Even therapy might help! Meds aren't necessarily tied into it. I learned a lot of coping things that helped me and worked through the exact workings of why I get anxious. Maybe that might help?

It's a hard scary thing though, either way. And then hyou get anxious about getting help! And it's even worse.

[livethlfe]

GOOD therapy would absolutely help. Unfortunately there are so many well-intentioned but poorly skilled therapists out there who don't provide really good therapy. I will restrain my rant, but suffice it to say, a lot of people try therapy and come away with the thought of, "the therapist was really nice, and I learned some stuff, but I didn't feel like I got any better" because they didn't have a skilled therapist. The right kind of therapy is a lot more effective than medicine.

[livethlfe]

You have two brains (well, we all do): The logical brain that tells you the right answer, a la this-is-silly-get-over-it, and the emotional brain that makes you feel like shit when the right answer doesn't feel right. What you're describing is textbook anxiety, or what happens when your two brains have a fight.

Medicine's not the answer. Don't see a psychiatrist or your primary doctor for this. A therapist is not a doctor and does not prescribe medication.

I'm biased, yes, but I also know the research, and I can tell you that a GOOD therapist will be able to guide you through this. There is a specific kind of therapy that is proven to be very effective at decreasing anxiety (which is important since not all therapies are created equal). I can tell you all about the process from the inside out (since this is what I do with my clients every day). If you do decide to go the therapy route, please please PLEASE talk to me first so I can match you with a good one. Not all therapists are created equal either, and I wouldn't trust

[quasigeek]

It fascinates me that there are people who don't have constant brain-fighting. Like, you can actually go into a social situation or work or anything and socialize without overanalyzing things? What is this sorcery?

You know that I saw the on-campus therapist/whatever they are for a while and we really didn't work well together. He'd be like, "well, try to look people in the eye when you talk to them!" and it only made it worse because I was trying too hard and I couldn't even walk down the sidewalk with my head up. Bah. (That's gotten better, at least.)

Talking to people is hard :P

And it's funny you mention SAI-those are the only functions were I actually feel comfortable, even if I don't know anyone in the room. Must be a common bond thing. Or being an alumni that everyone looks up to. I have no idea, but when I went to province day it was fun because I wasn't stressing out over everything. And that's when I realized, hey, some people feel this comfortable all the time and I'm jealous

[livethlfe]

It makes me so sad that there are so many bad therapists out there. We're not all like that, I promise!

I don't do big groups either because I never know what to say. If I get a person one-on-one, I'm usually ok. But if I'm expected to mingle, I'm in trouble. For me, it's easier when I know I have something in common. Oh, tell me about your chapter! When did you pledge? Did you do musicales? Instant connection!