Ibiza (Chapter 1/9)
Title: Ibiza (Chapter 1/9)
Fandom: QAF (US)
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Canon-friendly AR
Timeline: Episode 408
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. All characters belong to Cowlip and Showtime. I make no money from any of this.
Summary: What would have happened if Brian had told Justin about his cancer and taken him to Johns Hopkins with him.
Feedback: Yes, please. Un-beta-ed.
“That’s the point of being your own boss, isn’t it? Make your own hours, come and go as you please, not answer to anyone,” Brian lectured.
“Almost anyone,” Justin amended as he entered the room.
“Ball and chain. Cynthia, would you excuse us?”
“Be sure to eat plenty of fresh fruit and drink lots of tap water,” Cynthia advised sarcastically as she turned on her heel and left the office.
“Where are you going?” Justin asked as he put his messenger bag down.
“Ibiza. I’m leaving tonight,” Brian casually replied as he stuffed papers into his briefcase.
Justin couldn’t believe his ears. “Without me?”
“You’re going back to school, remember? It would be highly irresponsible of me to just pull you out,” Brian answered in that practical, lecturing tone that Justin hated.
“Fuck school, fuck the bet, fuck you. We were supposed to go together.”
Brian exploded, “We’re not fucking married. And *I* don’t need to get *your* fucking permission if I want to go somewhere.”
Brian stalked out of the office to retrieve a document from another room. When he returned a moment later, Justin had managed get his reaction under control. As much as he was shocked and hurt, he wanted to avoid a fight that would just drive Brian away. “You’re right, you’re absolutely right. We have no obligation to tell each other anything. Look, if I did something or said something to piss you off, I didn’t mean to.” Justin edged up to Brian and put his arms around the older man.
“It’s not you,” Brian acknowledged softly, briefly nuzzling Justin.
“Hey, what is it? Then what?” But Justin’s questions were met with silence. “Okay, you go do whatever you have to do for whatever reason you have to do it. I just want you to know that I love you and I’ll be here when you get back.”
Brian’s eyes reflected only helplessness as he watched Justin get into his coat and start to walk out of the office. He sighed deeply and stared at the ceiling, clenching and unclenching his jaw, seeming to wrestle with himself over something. After a moment, he came to a decision and pulled open his office door.
Justin was almost out the front door of Kinnetik when he heard Brian’s voice. “Justin, come back in here.” He turned and walked back to Brian’s office, his unshed tears glistening in his eyes.
“Justin, I…” his shoulders slumped. “I need to tell you some things but not here.” He grabbed his briefcase and coat. “Let’s go to the loft.”
On the way, he phoned Melanie at work and asked her to meet him at the loft in about an hour. “Yes, I know you are busy but this is urgent. And confidential,” he added. Then he used a word that rarely left his lips, especially to Melanie. “Please.”
A moment of silence, then, “Fine. Can you bring some computer files with you, my will, as well as a power of attorney and a DPA? I’ll explain when you get to the loft.”
Justin was out of his mind with confusion over Brian’s behavior but he kept quiet, waiting for Brian to explain. When they arrived at the loft, Brian grabbed two bottles of water and motioned for Justin to join him on the couch.
Brian took a long drink from his water and stared at the bottle for several minutes before speaking. “Justin, I’m going to tell you some things and I want you to just listen. Don’t interrupt me until I’m finished. I promise to answer all your questions but first let me talk, ok?” Justin swallowed hard and nodded.
Brian took a deep breath and frantically tried to figure out how to do this. He hadn’t even remotely entertained the notion of telling any of this to Justin - just the opposite in fact. He knew he should soften the blow and explain things gently. But he didn’t have the mental energy and there simply wasn’t time right now. So he jumped right in and hoped that Justin would be able to handle it.
Continuing to stare at his bottle of water, Brian began, “I’m not going to Ibiza. I’m going to Johns Hopkins Medical Center in Baltimore to have surgery. I have testicular cancer. At least, that is the most likely diagnosis.”
He heard Justin’s gasp as it turned into a sob and his peripheral vision caught Justin’s hand fly out to grab his own a split second before he felt the desperate grasp.
He continued without looking up. “I found a lump and had it checked out. The doctor is pretty sure it is cancer.” He fidgeted with his water as he rolled his lips over his teeth. This was the difficult part. “They have to remove the testicle,” he swallowed, “and replace it with a synthetic prosthesis.”
He stopped and slowly looked over at Justin. His blue eyes were red rimmed and filled with tears. “Oh, god, Brian. Are you…? How bad is it? What are your chances?”
Brian squeezed Justin’s hand. “The doctor thinks that it is contained in the tumor and hasn’t spread. He feels that, with surgery, my chances are 99%. Pretty good odds.”
“Thank whatever for that,” Justin stood up and turned to face Brian. He could see the concern and worry in the blue eyes. But Brian saw something else there and could feel the explosion before it hit.
“And you were planning to lie to me about Ibiza.” It wasn’t even a question. “And just come back like nothing had ever happened. How the fuck did you think that I wouldn’t notice? I’m your boyf…partn…whatever the fuck you aren’t calling me this week. Jesus, I can’t believe that you would do that but that’s exactly what you were going to do, isn’t it? Shut me out of your life as if I didn’t matter. Were you ever going to tell me? Tell anyone?”
Brian sat passively through Justin’s tirade, figuring it would be best to let him vent. He had been prepared for this reaction since he had made the decision to tell Justin but that didn’t mean he had an answer ready. He sighed. “I didn’t want anyone to know. I planned on coming back and going on with my life. As far as you finding out, I thought it might be kinda tricky for awhile, but I’ve managed to keep you out of my pants for the last few weeks since I found the lump. What was a couple more?”
“So that’s why you haven’t been interested in fucking lately. I assumed that it was me, that you were getting bored. I wasn’t really worried until you turned down the guys that I brought home from Babylon last week. The Brian Kinney that I know would never do that. But I still want to know why you weren’t going to tell me? How could you think you could handle something like this alone?”
Now it was Brian’s turn to explode. “I’ll tell you why! I didn’t want you to know because I didn’t want to lose you!”
Justin’s face was a mask of confusion. “Lose me? What are you talking about? Why would I leave?”
“Why not? I’m diseased and soon I’ll be missing a ball. The one-ball wonder. Why would you want to stay with me?”
Justin couldn’t believe his ears. “Oh my God! Do you honestly think that I am that shallow? That I stay with you because you are flawless and perfect? Let me tell you something, Mr. Kinney. You have many faults and losing a ball is the least of them. I love you in spite of and because of your imperfections.” He paused and took a breath. “What changed your mind? Why are you telling me now?”
Brian raked his hand through his hair and hung his head. “I honestly don’t know. I guess when you walked out of my office earlier, something snapped. I wasn’t going to tell you the truth because I didn’t want to lose you but I felt like I was already losing you. It was a gut reaction.” He shrugged and took a long drink from his water bottle. “Look, Mel is going to be here shortly and I want to explain a couple things before she arrives.”
Justin sat back down on the couch. “I was wondering what she has to do with any of this.”
“She doesn’t know anything and I’m going to tell her as little as I can get away with. She can’t tell anyone anyway since she’s bound by attorney/client privilege. I asked her to come so that I can add you to my will. If something happens to me, I want you to be taken care of.”
Justin started to object but Brian waved him off and continued. “Quiet. Listen to me. I don’t have time to debate this. I’m adding you to the will and I want you to have Power of Attorney to make medical decisions for me in case I’m incapacitated.” He looked hard at Justin. “I’m going to tell you something else and I want you to pay attention. Are you listening?”
“Yes, I’m listening.”
“I’m going to ask Mel to put together a domestic partnership agreement. But I want to make several things perfectly clear. We are not married. This piece of paper changes nothing about our…for lack of a better word, relationship. It will just make things easier legally if something happens to me and you inherit from the will. You will never breathe a word about this piece of paper to anyone. Understood?”
“Yes. Brian, how risky is the surgery? Is there really a chance…?” his voice trailing off, unable to finish the frightening thought.
“No, it is a pretty basic surgery. I may have to stay overnight but that’s it. But anytime that general anesthesia is involved, there is a risk. Plus, if the cancer has spread…” he also left his thought unfinished.
Justin whimpered, “I don’t know if I can go through with this. I’m not ready for this, for your will, cancer, power of attorney. It’s too much to take in.”
Brian took hold of his lover by the shoulders. “Justin, listen to me. This changes nothing between us. It is a legal formality. I don’t expect to need to use any of it. I’m just covering all bases. Okay?”
“Alright.” Brian pulled Justin towards him, encircling his arms around the smaller man.
They were interrupted by a knock at the door. Brian disengaged from Justin to let Melanie into the loft. He gave her a run-down of the situation and answered some basic questions. “I hope that I don’t have to tell you that this information will go no further than this room, understand? I consider it covered under Attorney-Client privilege.”
“Yeah, I understand but I wish that you would tell Lindsay.”
“Did you bring the computer files?” Ignoring her last comment, Brian walked over to his desk and turned on his PC. “Why don’t you sit down here and complete the forms in real time? We are in a bit of a time crunch.” Brian went through the changes he wanted in his will, leaving half of everything including Kinnetik to Justin. The rest would go to Gus. Next, Melanie filled in the information on the Power of Attorney and Domestic Partnership Agreement forms, printed everything and gave them to Brian to check over. Satisfied, he and Justin signed where indicated.
“I’ll have these filed in the morning,” Melanie gathered up the papers and her flash drive. “So, when’s the surgery?”
“Day after tomorrow. I’m going to drive to Baltimore tonight since I have to be at the hospital tomorrow afternoon for testing and admissions bullshit. I’ve got a hotel suite reserved in Baltimore and I’ll day a few days to recover and then come back.”
Justin’s face registered shock and betrayal as Brian announced his plans. He kept his reaction under control until after Melanie had left. “What do you mean *YOU* are driving to Baltimore? Don’t you mean *we*?” I’m coming with you.”
“Oh no, you aren’t. I made an on-the-spot emotional decision to tell you the truth but under no circumstances are you coming with me.” Brian stalked into the bedroom to start packing.
Justin followed him up the steps. “Brian, I’m not going to let you go alone. I want to help you, take care of you. You can’t just shut me out again.”
Brian crossed the room in two strides and stood in front of Justin, his face nearly touching Justin’s. “That is precisely why I don’t want you to go. You listen to me and you listen good. I don’t need you to take care of me, I don’t want you to take care of me and I don’t want you there. That’s final.”
“But why? Please tell me why. You already told me about the cancer.”
Brians’ eyes flashed angrily. “I don’t want you to see me helpless, sick and stuck full of fucking tubes. It’s bad enough that you know about the cancer and the…” he gulped and looked away, “the artificial ball.”
“I don’t care about any of that. Don’t you get it? I love you, all of you. That won’t change if I see you sick. None of that matters.”
Brian exploded, “It matters to me. I don’t want anyone to see me like that, lying there like a fucking invalid.”
Justin could no longer hold back the tears. “You can’t just leave me here. I’m not just anybody - I’m your partner for Christ’s sake. I want to be with you and face this together. Don’t do this to me, to us.”
“I said I don’t want you there. That’s final.”
“Let me ask you a question,” Justin responded. “What if the situation was reversed and I had cancer? Would you let me go through it alone? Assuming that I even told you, of course.”
“Fuck, no. And cancer would be the least of your worries if you didn’t tell me and I found out.” Brian suddenly realized where Justin was going with this argument. “There’s no comparison. I never came to visit you in the hospital after the…” Brian still had trouble talking about it, “…after you got hurt.”
“That was different. You knew that I had friends and family with me and you only stayed away because you felt guilty, like the bashing was your fault. You know damn well that if the situation were reversed, you would never let me go alone. You care about me too much. Well, news flash, Brian Kinney. I care about you too much to let you face this on your own.
Hanging his head, unable to look at Justin, Brain walked a few steps away. Justin followed him and put his arms around his lover. “You said that you didn’t want to lose me and I sure as hell don’t want to lose you. Well, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”
Brian thought about Justin’s words for several moments before he spoke. “I don’t want you fussing over me. I don’t need a fucking nursemaid, got it?”
“Oh, Brian.” Justin threw his arms around the older man.
“Well, start packing. We need to get on the road soon.” Brian ordered Chinese take-out while Justin ran over to Daphne’s to get some things and call his mother. All he told them was that he and Brian were going away for a week together.
“Ooooh…how romantic,” Daphne gushed. “He just whisks you away at a moment’s notice. I wish someone would do that to me.”
“Yeah…romantic,” Justin echoed, biting his tongue to keep from spilling everything to his best friend.
When he got back to the loft with his bag, Brian was packed and getting the food set out. “How long of a drive is it to Baltimore?” Justin asked, helping himself to the rice and Szechuan beef.
“About 4 hours, maybe a little less. I have a suite hotel near the hospital for a week.” Brian picked at his food. He still couldn’t believe that his carefully laid plans to keep his condition from Justin had totally unraveled.
“What’s the schedule for tomorrow? You said something about needing to be at the hospital.”
“I have to be at the hospital tomorrow at 2:00 for a bunch of tests and paperwork. Other than that, the day is free. Then back early the next morning for the surgery.”
They finished eating and Justin took out the garbage while Brian got their bags together and the loft settled for a week of disuse. They loaded their bags into the car and headed out. The drive was uneventful and passed quietly, neither man able or willing to talk about the maelstrom of thoughts and emotions that they were each experiencing
Fandom: QAF (US)
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Canon-friendly AR
Timeline: Episode 408
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. All characters belong to Cowlip and Showtime. I make no money from any of this.
Summary: What would have happened if Brian had told Justin about his cancer and taken him to Johns Hopkins with him.
Feedback: Yes, please. Un-beta-ed.
“That’s the point of being your own boss, isn’t it? Make your own hours, come and go as you please, not answer to anyone,” Brian lectured.
“Almost anyone,” Justin amended as he entered the room.
“Ball and chain. Cynthia, would you excuse us?”
“Be sure to eat plenty of fresh fruit and drink lots of tap water,” Cynthia advised sarcastically as she turned on her heel and left the office.
“Where are you going?” Justin asked as he put his messenger bag down.
“Ibiza. I’m leaving tonight,” Brian casually replied as he stuffed papers into his briefcase.
Justin couldn’t believe his ears. “Without me?”
“You’re going back to school, remember? It would be highly irresponsible of me to just pull you out,” Brian answered in that practical, lecturing tone that Justin hated.
“Fuck school, fuck the bet, fuck you. We were supposed to go together.”
Brian exploded, “We’re not fucking married. And *I* don’t need to get *your* fucking permission if I want to go somewhere.”
Brian stalked out of the office to retrieve a document from another room. When he returned a moment later, Justin had managed get his reaction under control. As much as he was shocked and hurt, he wanted to avoid a fight that would just drive Brian away. “You’re right, you’re absolutely right. We have no obligation to tell each other anything. Look, if I did something or said something to piss you off, I didn’t mean to.” Justin edged up to Brian and put his arms around the older man.
“It’s not you,” Brian acknowledged softly, briefly nuzzling Justin.
“Hey, what is it? Then what?” But Justin’s questions were met with silence. “Okay, you go do whatever you have to do for whatever reason you have to do it. I just want you to know that I love you and I’ll be here when you get back.”
Brian’s eyes reflected only helplessness as he watched Justin get into his coat and start to walk out of the office. He sighed deeply and stared at the ceiling, clenching and unclenching his jaw, seeming to wrestle with himself over something. After a moment, he came to a decision and pulled open his office door.
Justin was almost out the front door of Kinnetik when he heard Brian’s voice. “Justin, come back in here.” He turned and walked back to Brian’s office, his unshed tears glistening in his eyes.
“Justin, I…” his shoulders slumped. “I need to tell you some things but not here.” He grabbed his briefcase and coat. “Let’s go to the loft.”
On the way, he phoned Melanie at work and asked her to meet him at the loft in about an hour. “Yes, I know you are busy but this is urgent. And confidential,” he added. Then he used a word that rarely left his lips, especially to Melanie. “Please.”
A moment of silence, then, “Fine. Can you bring some computer files with you, my will, as well as a power of attorney and a DPA? I’ll explain when you get to the loft.”
Justin was out of his mind with confusion over Brian’s behavior but he kept quiet, waiting for Brian to explain. When they arrived at the loft, Brian grabbed two bottles of water and motioned for Justin to join him on the couch.
Brian took a long drink from his water and stared at the bottle for several minutes before speaking. “Justin, I’m going to tell you some things and I want you to just listen. Don’t interrupt me until I’m finished. I promise to answer all your questions but first let me talk, ok?” Justin swallowed hard and nodded.
Brian took a deep breath and frantically tried to figure out how to do this. He hadn’t even remotely entertained the notion of telling any of this to Justin - just the opposite in fact. He knew he should soften the blow and explain things gently. But he didn’t have the mental energy and there simply wasn’t time right now. So he jumped right in and hoped that Justin would be able to handle it.
Continuing to stare at his bottle of water, Brian began, “I’m not going to Ibiza. I’m going to Johns Hopkins Medical Center in Baltimore to have surgery. I have testicular cancer. At least, that is the most likely diagnosis.”
He heard Justin’s gasp as it turned into a sob and his peripheral vision caught Justin’s hand fly out to grab his own a split second before he felt the desperate grasp.
He continued without looking up. “I found a lump and had it checked out. The doctor is pretty sure it is cancer.” He fidgeted with his water as he rolled his lips over his teeth. This was the difficult part. “They have to remove the testicle,” he swallowed, “and replace it with a synthetic prosthesis.”
He stopped and slowly looked over at Justin. His blue eyes were red rimmed and filled with tears. “Oh, god, Brian. Are you…? How bad is it? What are your chances?”
Brian squeezed Justin’s hand. “The doctor thinks that it is contained in the tumor and hasn’t spread. He feels that, with surgery, my chances are 99%. Pretty good odds.”
“Thank whatever for that,” Justin stood up and turned to face Brian. He could see the concern and worry in the blue eyes. But Brian saw something else there and could feel the explosion before it hit.
“And you were planning to lie to me about Ibiza.” It wasn’t even a question. “And just come back like nothing had ever happened. How the fuck did you think that I wouldn’t notice? I’m your boyf…partn…whatever the fuck you aren’t calling me this week. Jesus, I can’t believe that you would do that but that’s exactly what you were going to do, isn’t it? Shut me out of your life as if I didn’t matter. Were you ever going to tell me? Tell anyone?”
Brian sat passively through Justin’s tirade, figuring it would be best to let him vent. He had been prepared for this reaction since he had made the decision to tell Justin but that didn’t mean he had an answer ready. He sighed. “I didn’t want anyone to know. I planned on coming back and going on with my life. As far as you finding out, I thought it might be kinda tricky for awhile, but I’ve managed to keep you out of my pants for the last few weeks since I found the lump. What was a couple more?”
“So that’s why you haven’t been interested in fucking lately. I assumed that it was me, that you were getting bored. I wasn’t really worried until you turned down the guys that I brought home from Babylon last week. The Brian Kinney that I know would never do that. But I still want to know why you weren’t going to tell me? How could you think you could handle something like this alone?”
Now it was Brian’s turn to explode. “I’ll tell you why! I didn’t want you to know because I didn’t want to lose you!”
Justin’s face was a mask of confusion. “Lose me? What are you talking about? Why would I leave?”
“Why not? I’m diseased and soon I’ll be missing a ball. The one-ball wonder. Why would you want to stay with me?”
Justin couldn’t believe his ears. “Oh my God! Do you honestly think that I am that shallow? That I stay with you because you are flawless and perfect? Let me tell you something, Mr. Kinney. You have many faults and losing a ball is the least of them. I love you in spite of and because of your imperfections.” He paused and took a breath. “What changed your mind? Why are you telling me now?”
Brian raked his hand through his hair and hung his head. “I honestly don’t know. I guess when you walked out of my office earlier, something snapped. I wasn’t going to tell you the truth because I didn’t want to lose you but I felt like I was already losing you. It was a gut reaction.” He shrugged and took a long drink from his water bottle. “Look, Mel is going to be here shortly and I want to explain a couple things before she arrives.”
Justin sat back down on the couch. “I was wondering what she has to do with any of this.”
“She doesn’t know anything and I’m going to tell her as little as I can get away with. She can’t tell anyone anyway since she’s bound by attorney/client privilege. I asked her to come so that I can add you to my will. If something happens to me, I want you to be taken care of.”
Justin started to object but Brian waved him off and continued. “Quiet. Listen to me. I don’t have time to debate this. I’m adding you to the will and I want you to have Power of Attorney to make medical decisions for me in case I’m incapacitated.” He looked hard at Justin. “I’m going to tell you something else and I want you to pay attention. Are you listening?”
“Yes, I’m listening.”
“I’m going to ask Mel to put together a domestic partnership agreement. But I want to make several things perfectly clear. We are not married. This piece of paper changes nothing about our…for lack of a better word, relationship. It will just make things easier legally if something happens to me and you inherit from the will. You will never breathe a word about this piece of paper to anyone. Understood?”
“Yes. Brian, how risky is the surgery? Is there really a chance…?” his voice trailing off, unable to finish the frightening thought.
“No, it is a pretty basic surgery. I may have to stay overnight but that’s it. But anytime that general anesthesia is involved, there is a risk. Plus, if the cancer has spread…” he also left his thought unfinished.
Justin whimpered, “I don’t know if I can go through with this. I’m not ready for this, for your will, cancer, power of attorney. It’s too much to take in.”
Brian took hold of his lover by the shoulders. “Justin, listen to me. This changes nothing between us. It is a legal formality. I don’t expect to need to use any of it. I’m just covering all bases. Okay?”
“Alright.” Brian pulled Justin towards him, encircling his arms around the smaller man.
They were interrupted by a knock at the door. Brian disengaged from Justin to let Melanie into the loft. He gave her a run-down of the situation and answered some basic questions. “I hope that I don’t have to tell you that this information will go no further than this room, understand? I consider it covered under Attorney-Client privilege.”
“Yeah, I understand but I wish that you would tell Lindsay.”
“Did you bring the computer files?” Ignoring her last comment, Brian walked over to his desk and turned on his PC. “Why don’t you sit down here and complete the forms in real time? We are in a bit of a time crunch.” Brian went through the changes he wanted in his will, leaving half of everything including Kinnetik to Justin. The rest would go to Gus. Next, Melanie filled in the information on the Power of Attorney and Domestic Partnership Agreement forms, printed everything and gave them to Brian to check over. Satisfied, he and Justin signed where indicated.
“I’ll have these filed in the morning,” Melanie gathered up the papers and her flash drive. “So, when’s the surgery?”
“Day after tomorrow. I’m going to drive to Baltimore tonight since I have to be at the hospital tomorrow afternoon for testing and admissions bullshit. I’ve got a hotel suite reserved in Baltimore and I’ll day a few days to recover and then come back.”
Justin’s face registered shock and betrayal as Brian announced his plans. He kept his reaction under control until after Melanie had left. “What do you mean *YOU* are driving to Baltimore? Don’t you mean *we*?” I’m coming with you.”
“Oh no, you aren’t. I made an on-the-spot emotional decision to tell you the truth but under no circumstances are you coming with me.” Brian stalked into the bedroom to start packing.
Justin followed him up the steps. “Brian, I’m not going to let you go alone. I want to help you, take care of you. You can’t just shut me out again.”
Brian crossed the room in two strides and stood in front of Justin, his face nearly touching Justin’s. “That is precisely why I don’t want you to go. You listen to me and you listen good. I don’t need you to take care of me, I don’t want you to take care of me and I don’t want you there. That’s final.”
“But why? Please tell me why. You already told me about the cancer.”
Brians’ eyes flashed angrily. “I don’t want you to see me helpless, sick and stuck full of fucking tubes. It’s bad enough that you know about the cancer and the…” he gulped and looked away, “the artificial ball.”
“I don’t care about any of that. Don’t you get it? I love you, all of you. That won’t change if I see you sick. None of that matters.”
Brian exploded, “It matters to me. I don’t want anyone to see me like that, lying there like a fucking invalid.”
Justin could no longer hold back the tears. “You can’t just leave me here. I’m not just anybody - I’m your partner for Christ’s sake. I want to be with you and face this together. Don’t do this to me, to us.”
“I said I don’t want you there. That’s final.”
“Let me ask you a question,” Justin responded. “What if the situation was reversed and I had cancer? Would you let me go through it alone? Assuming that I even told you, of course.”
“Fuck, no. And cancer would be the least of your worries if you didn’t tell me and I found out.” Brian suddenly realized where Justin was going with this argument. “There’s no comparison. I never came to visit you in the hospital after the…” Brian still had trouble talking about it, “…after you got hurt.”
“That was different. You knew that I had friends and family with me and you only stayed away because you felt guilty, like the bashing was your fault. You know damn well that if the situation were reversed, you would never let me go alone. You care about me too much. Well, news flash, Brian Kinney. I care about you too much to let you face this on your own.
Hanging his head, unable to look at Justin, Brain walked a few steps away. Justin followed him and put his arms around his lover. “You said that you didn’t want to lose me and I sure as hell don’t want to lose you. Well, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”
Brian thought about Justin’s words for several moments before he spoke. “I don’t want you fussing over me. I don’t need a fucking nursemaid, got it?”
“Oh, Brian.” Justin threw his arms around the older man.
“Well, start packing. We need to get on the road soon.” Brian ordered Chinese take-out while Justin ran over to Daphne’s to get some things and call his mother. All he told them was that he and Brian were going away for a week together.
“Ooooh…how romantic,” Daphne gushed. “He just whisks you away at a moment’s notice. I wish someone would do that to me.”
“Yeah…romantic,” Justin echoed, biting his tongue to keep from spilling everything to his best friend.
When he got back to the loft with his bag, Brian was packed and getting the food set out. “How long of a drive is it to Baltimore?” Justin asked, helping himself to the rice and Szechuan beef.
“About 4 hours, maybe a little less. I have a suite hotel near the hospital for a week.” Brian picked at his food. He still couldn’t believe that his carefully laid plans to keep his condition from Justin had totally unraveled.
“What’s the schedule for tomorrow? You said something about needing to be at the hospital.”
“I have to be at the hospital tomorrow at 2:00 for a bunch of tests and paperwork. Other than that, the day is free. Then back early the next morning for the surgery.”
They finished eating and Justin took out the garbage while Brian got their bags together and the loft settled for a week of disuse. They loaded their bags into the car and headed out. The drive was uneventful and passed quietly, neither man able or willing to talk about the maelstrom of thoughts and emotions that they were each experiencing