Gintama translation
It's been a while since I translated Gintama stuff. The novel is divided into "lessons", which are all pretty long. Last time I cut off at a random spot, but now I've finally made it to a place where the novel actually had a divider mark thingy!!, so I figured I'd just post all that I have again. If you still remember what happened, just scroll down to where Otae beats the shit out of Kondo. And if not...uh, yay Gintama!
The cram school teacher said, "It's okay if you don't get 100%. 70% is good enough."
If I were God, I would put youth at the end of a human's lifespan. (A. Franz)
If I were God, I would add chocolate popsicles to the school cafeteria's menu. (Sakata Ginpachi)
*****
Gintama High School.
Although it seems strange, it is in fact the name of the school, so what can you do? Besides, somewhere in the world there's got to be a school that's weirder than this one...probably.
Year 3, class Z.
This "Z" is not read as "Zetto", but rather as "Zui~". Why? "Because it sounds cooler that way." It's not known if it was the founders of the school or the principal who said this. Actually, it's not clear whether this was ever said at all. But even if there's no hard evidence, the "Z" is read this way. "Are there really that many students in the school?" If someone asks this question, just respond with, "The person in charge isn't here right now, so I can't respond."
Here's the classroom.
This isn't a particularly strange place. There are sliding doors at the front and back of the room, a podium, and a bunch of desks and chairs for the students, all normal stuff. Just imagine it as one of those classrooms you see in TV dramas and it'll be okay. However, if you really want to find something strange, then at the front wall of the room, above the blackboard, there hangs a horizontal scroll. Although it can't be considered beautiful, it is with bold, confident strokes that the two characters "sugar level" are written. Why "sugar level"? If asked again, then just say, "Because the homeroom teacher has a sweet tooth, aha ha". This kind of cute reply should suffice. By the way, the back wall also has a scroll that says "sugar level". If asked about it, please use the same response as to the one in front.
In short, compared to a so-called "normal school", the difference is a world1 away.
In 3-Z's classroom, the second desk in the front row, counting from the side near the hallway, is Shimura Shinpachi's seat.
*****
It's 8:40 in the morning. Classes will begin in about five minutes. Shinpachi is sitting at his desk, one hand on his cheek, silently looking at the other students. Most of the students have left their own seats, and are chattering away loudly. A classroom without a teacher belongs to the students, so it's also natural that they would be noisy...
But our class... Shinpachi thought. Doesn't it have a few too many weirdos?
For example, to Shinpachi's left, separated by one row, that seat--
"Hey, you! What the hell-- Why did you eat my little Octopus-sama wiener? You bastard!"
The foreign exchange student from China, Kagura-chan, is already angry this early in the morning. Although she looks like a cute girl, right now she's transformed into a barbarian from the wilderness. It looks like it's already lunch break for her, and a classmate has eaten one of her wieners.
But, Kagura... Shinpachi stares blankly at her. Isn't it way too early to start eating lunch now? Also, it's not even "Octopus-san", but "Octopus-sama"? That kind of name is too confusing!
Shimura Shinpachi, he's the straight man. Though it may seem like a hasty conclusion, in this environment, considering the eccentricity of his classmates, even if he didn't want to, he would become the straight man. This is Shinpachi's sad position.
"It's only a little wiener. 'Wah! Wah!' You're so noisy. In my country, there's a saying that goes, 'Octopus-san wieners belong to everyone, so don't sign your name on them!'"
This is also an exchange student. Catherine refutes Kagura's accusations in this way. She has an amazingly stern and intense face, with heavy eyebrows and thick lips. It's unknown why she has a pair of cat ears. If she's rough-looking, then she's rough-looking.
"Don't give me that kind of meaningless saying! I can make one up, too. Where I come from, there's a saying that goes, 'Cat-eared girls must be executed. Yellow is a good color, yo!' Also, it's not 'Octopus-san'. It's 'Octopus-sama'!" Kagura-chan barks back at her.
What is this persevering intensity over the octopus? It's not right. They should be focusing on the wiener...which is also unimportant.
Then, while Kagura-chan and Catherine are having their international dispute, the disciplinary committee member Okita Sougo approaches from the left and sits behind them, talking to his fellow disciplinary committee member, Hijikata Toshiro.
Under the clean, chestnut colored hair are a pair of big, round eyes. He's always wearing a blank façade. Compared to Okita-kun, who looks relaxed and innocent, Hijikata-kun has messy hair and sharp eyes. These two students look like could get really good grades, but since they're in class 3-Z, they can only produce dialogue at this level.
"Hey, Sougo." Hijikata, arms crossed over his chest, calls out in his deep voice.
"What is it, Hijikata-san," Okita replies softly. His legs are on top of the desk, and he's playing with his cell phone.
Then Hijikata says "Sougo. Have you heard of mayonnaise rice?"
"Isn't it that thing where you put mayonnaise on rice?"
"Shut up! It was a rhetorical question! Anyway, not a day goes by where I don't eat that."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. So what? What about the mayonnaise rice?" While saying that, Okita-kun never stopped playing with the cell phone.
Hijikata quirks his lips up in a smirk, then continues on, "Actually, last night, I finally succeeded in improving mayonnaise rice!"
"Nobody asked you to do that," Okita monotones.
"All right, just listen. I added something to the mayonnaise rice, and then it became very, very delicious. What was it? Do you want to know?"
"Ah, return text message. --Yeah, I really want to know."
"It looks like you're not interested at all, bastard! --Hmph! Whatever, I'll tell you anyway."
"That 'something' was..." Hijikata suddenly paused, as if trying to build suspense, then he continues, "...a can of tuna...'s oil."
Shinpachi, who has been listening in on their conversation all along, can't help but to shut his eyes. H-how can that be... But what is that? A can of tuna...'s oil? Deep inside, he thought that whatever it was, it didn't matter.
"Not the tuna from a can of tuna. It's the oil from a can of tuna. I added this to the mayonnaise rice."
So, why was there a pause between "a can of tuna" and "its oil"? Why.
"You're wearing your indifferent 'it has nothing to do with me' face, Sougo." Hijikata unhappily narrows his eyes into two small cracks.
"It's not like that at all. Next time I'm possessed by a demon, I'll go try it out."
"You have the worst social skills ever." After Hijikata-kun said this, he moved his line of sight to Okita-kun's hand. "Anyway, Sougo. Who have you been texting all this time?"
"Ah, this? This is an online dating site. Actually, only idiots are into this, so it's natural that I don't really know what I'm doing. It's only because we have time to waste that I'm playing around here."
"So that's how it is. But there's still one thing I don't get. That, isn't that my cell phone?"
"Yeah. Because it's a dating site. You can't use your own cell phone for this type of thing."
"So that's how it is. It makes a lot of sense. --You are so dead!"
Hijikata-kun suddenly stands up and walks around the desk to viciously wrap his arm around Okita-kun's neck.
It's pointless... Shinpachi, who's always seeing people fight, can't help but think so. It's completely pointless. As he was thinking this, the back door was violently shoved open.
"Otae-san!"
The idiot shouting with his loud idiot voice is Kondo Isao, who looks like a gorilla. He has an appearance which completely lacks elegance, but he's actually rather popular. Both Okita-kun and Hijikata-kun are willing to follow him, as he is the chairman of the disciplinary committee.
Upon entering the classroom, Kondo-kun runs straight toward Shimura Tae's seat. By the way, this Shimura Tae is, like her surname implies, Shinpachi's older sister.
"Aaaaah--! Otae-san, you're beautiful today as well. Even the plain uniform looks like a skirt made of pure gold when you wear it, ahahaha."
Kondo-kun loudly speaks flattering words which he thinks would get full points. However, Otae is looking at a fashion magazine ("Introduction to killer techniques! How to pickpocket dirty old men.") as she gives her cold reply.
"So early in the morning and you're already confused, Kondo-kun. And, I've already said this many times. Could you drop the 'Otae-san'? Here, we're third years in high school."
No, "here"...? Shinpachi couldn't help but cover his face with his hands. Sis, please don't blurt out the kind of speech that exposes our backgrounds. Although we know there will be a lot of problems, it'll gradually sink in that this is Gintama High School class 3-Z.
"Ah, sorry, sorry. It seems like I'm still in the habit of thinking like our origins in 'Gintama'. Ahahaha."
...Hey, why are you speaking like that, too?! A word like "origins" you don't need to say out loud!
Disregarding Shinpachi, who's holding his head, Kondo continues his conversation with Otae.
"Well, for a high school student, calling someone 'Otae-san' is a bit much. Then what should I do? Can I call you 'TaeTae'?"
"Don't joke. Do you want me to kill you?" Otae keeps reading the magazine. Her head didn't even lift as she replied.
"No? Then how about 'Tae-chan'?"
"Sounds like the name of an energy drink. Do you want me to kill you?"
"This also doesn't fit your feelings. How about I call you 'Taeko' then?"
"When Doomsday arrives. Do you want me to kill you?"
"That won't do. I'll call you 'My Sweet Tae, Tae Honey'..."
Otae has finally reached her limit.
Standing up with a roar, Otae mercilessly beats Kondo-kun's face with the magazine. The reason why it's making cracking sounds rather than slapping sounds is because Otae is using the hard edges of the magazine to carry out her beating.
"Waaah--! It hurts! The edge! Otae-san! The edge! You're killing me! Paper can also be a weapon! Aaah!!"
The wailing Kondo-kun has only been in the classroom for three minutes, and he's already become a sacrifice.
But, how do you say, Shinpachi doesn't have the time to sympathize with him. Otae and Kondo-kun are like this all the time. It's become a routine they do every morning.
Although it seems impossible, class Z also has some people who are always off in their own peaceful world. For example, the boy who sits in front of Kagura, Katsura Kotaro. Right now, he's sitting alone at his desk, writing something. Because he's a bit curious, Shinpachi goes ahead and asks him about it.
"Hey, Katsura-kun. What are you writing?"
Katsura-kun raises his head to look at Shinpachi. "This?" He lifts up the notebook so that Shinpachi can see, too.
In the notebook is an unusually realistic drawing of a...mystery animal.
It's an animal that can only be called a mystery. It looks kind of like a penguin monster. More specifically, it has a penguin's body and a duck's head. Its appearance defies biology.
"Did you know? This is my pet, Elizabeth," Katsura-kun says.
"I know..."
He knows, but he can't understand it at all. Why is it necessary to draw it now? And also, to draw it so much like a duck. Ah! Just now, Katsura-kun gave a tiny smile. Why is he smiling?
Shinpachi returned Katsura-kun's smile with a dry smile of his own, then shifted his attention away. There's no telling what Katsura-kun is trying to do. It's really too dangerous to keep investigating.
To the left of Katsura-kun and one row apart, Hasegawa Taizo is seriously looking through the employment section of a newspaper. The reason why Hasegawa-kun, who wears sunglasses and has a beard, looks so much like an old man is because he actually is an old man.
"So, besides the graveyard shift, there are no jobs with wages over 1000 yen, huh." His muttering could still be faintly heard.
Aaah, Hasegawa-kun. Although it's obviously not good to witness bloody incidents this early in the morning, there's also something wrong with your sad face.
A student in the last seat of Hasegawa-kun's row is silently absorbed in his knitting. This is not a situation where one can say, "Ha! He's already working so earnestly this early in the morning!"
This student's name is Hedoro. To put it bluntly, he's extremely frightening. His face is so fierce that people are bound to think of the Buddhist sculptures of the Kamakura period2 when they see it-- Speaking of which, he's also disturbingly tall, so basically he looks like a monster. Hair like a lion's mane covers all sides of his head; on either side of his head are curving horns like a water buffalo. But he's knitting so earnestly and exquisitely that he's definitely going to be the winner of this year's Girls' Crafts Competition. However, we still have to discuss Hedoro-kun's reputation. This person is extremely gentle. Not only does he love flowers, plants, and animals, but he never argues with others. Ah...just now, he made eye contact. ...That...So sorry, but that was still really scary...
So, uh, in this way, class 3-Z can also be considered a treasure trove of characters. Besides those who were just introduced, there are a lot of other intense personalities. Really, as soon as you get here, there's the feeling that this is less of a place to study and more of an amusement park.
Hopefully, today will pass by without any major incidents... Thinking in this way, Shinpachi slowly adjusts his glasses.
Kagura-chan's voice booms throughout the class.
"Ah! You damn cat ears! Now you've stolen one of my fried meatballs--!"
"I've only eaten one fried meatball. Wah, wah, you're going to scream us to death!"
Whoa! Why are you two still shouting?!
As Shinpachi was complaining, Kagura-chan lifted her right hand and swung her fist. She was probably aiming at Catherine, but Kagura-chan missed by a wide margin and unfortunately ended up hitting Katsura-kun in the back of the head.
"------!"
Katsura-kun can't even let out a sound. He immediately flops onto the table, a wisp of smoke rising from the place where he was hit.
Then it's Otae roaring again.
"Listen up! Get the hell away from my seat nowwwww---!"
Otae and Kondo-kun's pattern is still continuing.
After that scream, Otae suddenly chucks her fashion magazine. Of course, her target is Kondo-kun's face.
"Aaah--!"
Kondo-kun quickly dodged, and the result was that the fashion magazine with more killing power than a Kienzan3 smashed directly into the back of Hasegawa-kun's head.
"Really, this is only temporary...bwargh!"
Hasegawa-kun immediately flops onto the table, a pool of blood spreading out on the employment section of his newspaper.
Thinking of this, there's also...
"You bastard! Did you post on a suicide website again?!"
"Aaah, Hijikata-san, didn't you say it before? That you have a strong desire to see what was on the other side?"
"There's no way I would have said something like that! What desire?!"
Hijikata-kun chases after Okita-kun, who's running away.
It's no good, Shinpachi thinks. A peaceful day-- That kind of wish will never come true in class 3-Z.
With this group of idiots, the problem isn't that the class is out of control, but that the class is going through a total meltdown...! Shinpachi whispered fearfully in his heart.
The front door of the classroom is pulled open with a click.
A man appeared. A man with glasses, white clothes, tie sloppily hanging around his neck, and white, naturally permed hair. This man speaks around the cigarette in his mouth.
"Already so loud this early in the morning. You bastards must think you're still innocent little middle school brats, huh."
This man is class 3-Z's homeroom teacher, Sakata Ginpachi.
-----
Notes
1) Written with the character for "ball/sphere"... so, yes, the difference is a testicle away.
2) The Kamakura period (1185-1333) was when Buddhism became hugely popular in Japan. The sculptures that are being referred to are the kongorikishi statues depicting the muscular and wrathful guardians of Buddha. (They look like demons.)
3) Kienzan is one of Krillin's attacks in Dragonball, also known as the "Energy Circle Razor" or "Destructo Disc".
The cram school teacher said, "It's okay if you don't get 100%. 70% is good enough."
If I were God, I would put youth at the end of a human's lifespan. (A. Franz)
If I were God, I would add chocolate popsicles to the school cafeteria's menu. (Sakata Ginpachi)
*****
Gintama High School.
Although it seems strange, it is in fact the name of the school, so what can you do? Besides, somewhere in the world there's got to be a school that's weirder than this one...probably.
Year 3, class Z.
This "Z" is not read as "Zetto", but rather as "Zui~". Why? "Because it sounds cooler that way." It's not known if it was the founders of the school or the principal who said this. Actually, it's not clear whether this was ever said at all. But even if there's no hard evidence, the "Z" is read this way. "Are there really that many students in the school?" If someone asks this question, just respond with, "The person in charge isn't here right now, so I can't respond."
Here's the classroom.
This isn't a particularly strange place. There are sliding doors at the front and back of the room, a podium, and a bunch of desks and chairs for the students, all normal stuff. Just imagine it as one of those classrooms you see in TV dramas and it'll be okay. However, if you really want to find something strange, then at the front wall of the room, above the blackboard, there hangs a horizontal scroll. Although it can't be considered beautiful, it is with bold, confident strokes that the two characters "sugar level" are written. Why "sugar level"? If asked again, then just say, "Because the homeroom teacher has a sweet tooth, aha ha". This kind of cute reply should suffice. By the way, the back wall also has a scroll that says "sugar level". If asked about it, please use the same response as to the one in front.
In short, compared to a so-called "normal school", the difference is a world1 away.
In 3-Z's classroom, the second desk in the front row, counting from the side near the hallway, is Shimura Shinpachi's seat.
*****
It's 8:40 in the morning. Classes will begin in about five minutes. Shinpachi is sitting at his desk, one hand on his cheek, silently looking at the other students. Most of the students have left their own seats, and are chattering away loudly. A classroom without a teacher belongs to the students, so it's also natural that they would be noisy...
But our class... Shinpachi thought. Doesn't it have a few too many weirdos?
For example, to Shinpachi's left, separated by one row, that seat--
"Hey, you! What the hell-- Why did you eat my little Octopus-sama wiener? You bastard!"
The foreign exchange student from China, Kagura-chan, is already angry this early in the morning. Although she looks like a cute girl, right now she's transformed into a barbarian from the wilderness. It looks like it's already lunch break for her, and a classmate has eaten one of her wieners.
But, Kagura... Shinpachi stares blankly at her. Isn't it way too early to start eating lunch now? Also, it's not even "Octopus-san", but "Octopus-sama"? That kind of name is too confusing!
Shimura Shinpachi, he's the straight man. Though it may seem like a hasty conclusion, in this environment, considering the eccentricity of his classmates, even if he didn't want to, he would become the straight man. This is Shinpachi's sad position.
"It's only a little wiener. 'Wah! Wah!' You're so noisy. In my country, there's a saying that goes, 'Octopus-san wieners belong to everyone, so don't sign your name on them!'"
This is also an exchange student. Catherine refutes Kagura's accusations in this way. She has an amazingly stern and intense face, with heavy eyebrows and thick lips. It's unknown why she has a pair of cat ears. If she's rough-looking, then she's rough-looking.
"Don't give me that kind of meaningless saying! I can make one up, too. Where I come from, there's a saying that goes, 'Cat-eared girls must be executed. Yellow is a good color, yo!' Also, it's not 'Octopus-san'. It's 'Octopus-sama'!" Kagura-chan barks back at her.
What is this persevering intensity over the octopus? It's not right. They should be focusing on the wiener...which is also unimportant.
Then, while Kagura-chan and Catherine are having their international dispute, the disciplinary committee member Okita Sougo approaches from the left and sits behind them, talking to his fellow disciplinary committee member, Hijikata Toshiro.
Under the clean, chestnut colored hair are a pair of big, round eyes. He's always wearing a blank façade. Compared to Okita-kun, who looks relaxed and innocent, Hijikata-kun has messy hair and sharp eyes. These two students look like could get really good grades, but since they're in class 3-Z, they can only produce dialogue at this level.
"Hey, Sougo." Hijikata, arms crossed over his chest, calls out in his deep voice.
"What is it, Hijikata-san," Okita replies softly. His legs are on top of the desk, and he's playing with his cell phone.
Then Hijikata says "Sougo. Have you heard of mayonnaise rice?"
"Isn't it that thing where you put mayonnaise on rice?"
"Shut up! It was a rhetorical question! Anyway, not a day goes by where I don't eat that."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. So what? What about the mayonnaise rice?" While saying that, Okita-kun never stopped playing with the cell phone.
Hijikata quirks his lips up in a smirk, then continues on, "Actually, last night, I finally succeeded in improving mayonnaise rice!"
"Nobody asked you to do that," Okita monotones.
"All right, just listen. I added something to the mayonnaise rice, and then it became very, very delicious. What was it? Do you want to know?"
"Ah, return text message. --Yeah, I really want to know."
"It looks like you're not interested at all, bastard! --Hmph! Whatever, I'll tell you anyway."
"That 'something' was..." Hijikata suddenly paused, as if trying to build suspense, then he continues, "...a can of tuna...'s oil."
Shinpachi, who has been listening in on their conversation all along, can't help but to shut his eyes. H-how can that be... But what is that? A can of tuna...'s oil? Deep inside, he thought that whatever it was, it didn't matter.
"Not the tuna from a can of tuna. It's the oil from a can of tuna. I added this to the mayonnaise rice."
So, why was there a pause between "a can of tuna" and "its oil"? Why.
"You're wearing your indifferent 'it has nothing to do with me' face, Sougo." Hijikata unhappily narrows his eyes into two small cracks.
"It's not like that at all. Next time I'm possessed by a demon, I'll go try it out."
"You have the worst social skills ever." After Hijikata-kun said this, he moved his line of sight to Okita-kun's hand. "Anyway, Sougo. Who have you been texting all this time?"
"Ah, this? This is an online dating site. Actually, only idiots are into this, so it's natural that I don't really know what I'm doing. It's only because we have time to waste that I'm playing around here."
"So that's how it is. But there's still one thing I don't get. That, isn't that my cell phone?"
"Yeah. Because it's a dating site. You can't use your own cell phone for this type of thing."
"So that's how it is. It makes a lot of sense. --You are so dead!"
Hijikata-kun suddenly stands up and walks around the desk to viciously wrap his arm around Okita-kun's neck.
It's pointless... Shinpachi, who's always seeing people fight, can't help but think so. It's completely pointless. As he was thinking this, the back door was violently shoved open.
"Otae-san!"
The idiot shouting with his loud idiot voice is Kondo Isao, who looks like a gorilla. He has an appearance which completely lacks elegance, but he's actually rather popular. Both Okita-kun and Hijikata-kun are willing to follow him, as he is the chairman of the disciplinary committee.
Upon entering the classroom, Kondo-kun runs straight toward Shimura Tae's seat. By the way, this Shimura Tae is, like her surname implies, Shinpachi's older sister.
"Aaaaah--! Otae-san, you're beautiful today as well. Even the plain uniform looks like a skirt made of pure gold when you wear it, ahahaha."
Kondo-kun loudly speaks flattering words which he thinks would get full points. However, Otae is looking at a fashion magazine ("Introduction to killer techniques! How to pickpocket dirty old men.") as she gives her cold reply.
"So early in the morning and you're already confused, Kondo-kun. And, I've already said this many times. Could you drop the 'Otae-san'? Here, we're third years in high school."
No, "here"...? Shinpachi couldn't help but cover his face with his hands. Sis, please don't blurt out the kind of speech that exposes our backgrounds. Although we know there will be a lot of problems, it'll gradually sink in that this is Gintama High School class 3-Z.
"Ah, sorry, sorry. It seems like I'm still in the habit of thinking like our origins in 'Gintama'. Ahahaha."
...Hey, why are you speaking like that, too?! A word like "origins" you don't need to say out loud!
Disregarding Shinpachi, who's holding his head, Kondo continues his conversation with Otae.
"Well, for a high school student, calling someone 'Otae-san' is a bit much. Then what should I do? Can I call you 'TaeTae'?"
"Don't joke. Do you want me to kill you?" Otae keeps reading the magazine. Her head didn't even lift as she replied.
"No? Then how about 'Tae-chan'?"
"Sounds like the name of an energy drink. Do you want me to kill you?"
"This also doesn't fit your feelings. How about I call you 'Taeko' then?"
"When Doomsday arrives. Do you want me to kill you?"
"That won't do. I'll call you 'My Sweet Tae, Tae Honey'..."
Otae has finally reached her limit.
Standing up with a roar, Otae mercilessly beats Kondo-kun's face with the magazine. The reason why it's making cracking sounds rather than slapping sounds is because Otae is using the hard edges of the magazine to carry out her beating.
"Waaah--! It hurts! The edge! Otae-san! The edge! You're killing me! Paper can also be a weapon! Aaah!!"
The wailing Kondo-kun has only been in the classroom for three minutes, and he's already become a sacrifice.
But, how do you say, Shinpachi doesn't have the time to sympathize with him. Otae and Kondo-kun are like this all the time. It's become a routine they do every morning.
Although it seems impossible, class Z also has some people who are always off in their own peaceful world. For example, the boy who sits in front of Kagura, Katsura Kotaro. Right now, he's sitting alone at his desk, writing something. Because he's a bit curious, Shinpachi goes ahead and asks him about it.
"Hey, Katsura-kun. What are you writing?"
Katsura-kun raises his head to look at Shinpachi. "This?" He lifts up the notebook so that Shinpachi can see, too.
In the notebook is an unusually realistic drawing of a...mystery animal.
It's an animal that can only be called a mystery. It looks kind of like a penguin monster. More specifically, it has a penguin's body and a duck's head. Its appearance defies biology.
"Did you know? This is my pet, Elizabeth," Katsura-kun says.
"I know..."
He knows, but he can't understand it at all. Why is it necessary to draw it now? And also, to draw it so much like a duck. Ah! Just now, Katsura-kun gave a tiny smile. Why is he smiling?
Shinpachi returned Katsura-kun's smile with a dry smile of his own, then shifted his attention away. There's no telling what Katsura-kun is trying to do. It's really too dangerous to keep investigating.
To the left of Katsura-kun and one row apart, Hasegawa Taizo is seriously looking through the employment section of a newspaper. The reason why Hasegawa-kun, who wears sunglasses and has a beard, looks so much like an old man is because he actually is an old man.
"So, besides the graveyard shift, there are no jobs with wages over 1000 yen, huh." His muttering could still be faintly heard.
Aaah, Hasegawa-kun. Although it's obviously not good to witness bloody incidents this early in the morning, there's also something wrong with your sad face.
A student in the last seat of Hasegawa-kun's row is silently absorbed in his knitting. This is not a situation where one can say, "Ha! He's already working so earnestly this early in the morning!"
This student's name is Hedoro. To put it bluntly, he's extremely frightening. His face is so fierce that people are bound to think of the Buddhist sculptures of the Kamakura period2 when they see it-- Speaking of which, he's also disturbingly tall, so basically he looks like a monster. Hair like a lion's mane covers all sides of his head; on either side of his head are curving horns like a water buffalo. But he's knitting so earnestly and exquisitely that he's definitely going to be the winner of this year's Girls' Crafts Competition. However, we still have to discuss Hedoro-kun's reputation. This person is extremely gentle. Not only does he love flowers, plants, and animals, but he never argues with others. Ah...just now, he made eye contact. ...That...So sorry, but that was still really scary...
So, uh, in this way, class 3-Z can also be considered a treasure trove of characters. Besides those who were just introduced, there are a lot of other intense personalities. Really, as soon as you get here, there's the feeling that this is less of a place to study and more of an amusement park.
Hopefully, today will pass by without any major incidents... Thinking in this way, Shinpachi slowly adjusts his glasses.
Kagura-chan's voice booms throughout the class.
"Ah! You damn cat ears! Now you've stolen one of my fried meatballs--!"
"I've only eaten one fried meatball. Wah, wah, you're going to scream us to death!"
Whoa! Why are you two still shouting?!
As Shinpachi was complaining, Kagura-chan lifted her right hand and swung her fist. She was probably aiming at Catherine, but Kagura-chan missed by a wide margin and unfortunately ended up hitting Katsura-kun in the back of the head.
"------!"
Katsura-kun can't even let out a sound. He immediately flops onto the table, a wisp of smoke rising from the place where he was hit.
Then it's Otae roaring again.
"Listen up! Get the hell away from my seat nowwwww---!"
Otae and Kondo-kun's pattern is still continuing.
After that scream, Otae suddenly chucks her fashion magazine. Of course, her target is Kondo-kun's face.
"Aaah--!"
Kondo-kun quickly dodged, and the result was that the fashion magazine with more killing power than a Kienzan3 smashed directly into the back of Hasegawa-kun's head.
"Really, this is only temporary...bwargh!"
Hasegawa-kun immediately flops onto the table, a pool of blood spreading out on the employment section of his newspaper.
Thinking of this, there's also...
"You bastard! Did you post on a suicide website again?!"
"Aaah, Hijikata-san, didn't you say it before? That you have a strong desire to see what was on the other side?"
"There's no way I would have said something like that! What desire?!"
Hijikata-kun chases after Okita-kun, who's running away.
It's no good, Shinpachi thinks. A peaceful day-- That kind of wish will never come true in class 3-Z.
With this group of idiots, the problem isn't that the class is out of control, but that the class is going through a total meltdown...! Shinpachi whispered fearfully in his heart.
The front door of the classroom is pulled open with a click.
A man appeared. A man with glasses, white clothes, tie sloppily hanging around his neck, and white, naturally permed hair. This man speaks around the cigarette in his mouth.
"Already so loud this early in the morning. You bastards must think you're still innocent little middle school brats, huh."
This man is class 3-Z's homeroom teacher, Sakata Ginpachi.
-----
Notes
1) Written with the character for "ball/sphere"... so, yes, the difference is a testicle away.
2) The Kamakura period (1185-1333) was when Buddhism became hugely popular in Japan. The sculptures that are being referred to are the kongorikishi statues depicting the muscular and wrathful guardians of Buddha. (They look like demons.)
3) Kienzan is one of Krillin's attacks in Dragonball, also known as the "Energy Circle Razor" or "Destructo Disc".