Doctor Who and the Procrastinators of Pyat
In The Satan Pit, the Tenth Doctor comes face to face with the Devil, after taking a literal leap of faith into a black pit on an impossible planet. It was a two part story, with lots of shooting and monsters - kind of a combination of Doom, Aliens, The Ark in Space, Event Horizon, and The Black Hole. I won’t hand out too many spoilers, but I was wondering how the other Doctors would have dealt with The Ultimate Evil.
I think it would go a little something like this…
First Doctor
Quote: “The Devil? Indeed? You don’t say. Super…superstition….” Looks around vaguely. Ian Chesterton silently mouths something. The Doctor nods, and tucks his thumbs in his lapels. “Yes, superstitious nonsense. Hmm?” Silence. “Chesterton, stop m… stop, stop, stop mooning about, and go down that hole, would you?”
Number of Episodes: 12 episodes, including a lengthy subplot (written by Terry Nation) in which the characters are put on trial for murder and fight evil robots on the Sun.
Ep 1.: Doctor Who and the Impossible Planet
Ep 2: Doctor Who and the Space Slaves
Ep 3: Doctor Who and the Pit of Doom
Ep 4: Doctor Who and the Ultimate Evil
Ep 6: Doctor Who and the Moon Emergency
Ep 7: Doctor Who and the Sun-Bot Invasion
Ep 8: Doctor Who and the Revenge of the Sun-Bots
Ep 9: Doctor Who and the Trial of the Sun-Bots
Ep 10: Doctor Who and the Return to The Pit of Doom
Ep 11: Doctor Who and the Devils from Time
Ep 12: Doctor Who and the Rocketship Escape
The BBC will later destroy the tapes to make room for their Ask Pickles archive. Fans who reconstruct the storyline from Radio News production stills and 40-year-old memories will alternately declare it “the greatest plotline ever” and “incredibly boring, with a subjective viewing time of nine-billion hours.”
Leap of Faith?: No. The Doctor sends Ian into the Pit, where Ian wrestles with a “Time Devil,” a man in a clumsy rubber costume. Ian knocks the Time Devil down a shaft, and it dies. That would be about all, because Black Holes had not yet entered popular SF.
Second Doctor
Quote: “A Black Hole, Jamie. A hole in time and space. Nothing can escape from it - not even the TARDIS!” (This is followed by a comic bit with the recorder.)
Number of Episodes and Response : Six. All copies are supposedly lost during the great Goon Show teleplay shelf-space reassignment, but a kinescope copy is later discovered underneath the grease trap of the BBC cafeteria.
Ep. 1: The Incredible Planet
Ep. 2: The Hole in Time
Ep. 3: The Cosmic Evil
Ep. 4: The Abyss
Ep. 5: The Old Enemy
Ep. 6: The Great Escape
Younger fans are terrified by the possessed Ood. Questions are raised in Parliament about the need for stricter broadcast regulations, and the Archbishop of Canterbury expresses “concern” about the occult content of the show.
Leap of Faith?: Yes, but the Pit is only 20 feet deep, and he doesn’t so much leap as stumble. While down in the Pit, the Doctor finds out that the Great Intelligence is behind everything, and they have a psychic battle.
Third Doctor
Quote: “No sentient creature has the right to enslave another, Jo. The only Devil here is mankind’s inhumanity to the Ood.”
Number of Episodes and Response: Four. Released on VHS in the 80s, and now available in a deluxe DVD edition.
Ep. 1: The Impossible Planet
Ep. 2: The Slaves of Space
Ep. 3: The Revenge of the Ood
Ep 4: The Pit of Satan
It’s a midseason storyline, fondly remembered by most. Stodgier critics cringe at the strident antislavery message, preferring their entertainment devoid of social commentary. A BBC exec later quotes the Doctor when announcing the decision to cancel The Black and White Minstrel Show.
Leap of Faith?: No, but Jo accidentally trips and falls into the Pit as a cliff-hanger, only to be seen clinging to a vine about five feet down in the next episode. The entire story would be about how the Doctor Teaches the Ood About This Thing You Call Free-Dom. The man with a gun would get a snoot-full of Venusian Aikido. All the weirdness is caused by a mind-control ray built by the Master, who escapes at the last second.
Fourth Doctor
Quote: “Satan? Really? How extraordinary. I always thought they’d done you a disservice in Faust…” “SILENCE!” “…but Paradise Lost, now there was a…” “SILENCE!” “You heard the Devil, K-9, do be quiet now, there’s a good fellow.”
Number of Episodes and Response: Four, partially written by Douglas Adams.
Ep. 1: The Doomed Planet
Ep. 2: The Pit of Death
Ep. 3: The Ultimate Enemy
Ep. 4: The Guardians of Evil
Leap of Faith?: Sort of. The Doctor abseils down the side of the Pit with his scarf, but falls part of the way. Some impressive chroma-key effects are used to create a giant blotchy red energy-being that calls itself Satan. The Doctor decodes the weird writing, and discovers that the Ood were the guardians of Satan. He smashes a clay vase, and releases them from servitude, and they use their mind-powers to entrap Satan in the pit again.
I think it would go a little something like this…
First Doctor
Quote: “The Devil? Indeed? You don’t say. Super…superstition….” Looks around vaguely. Ian Chesterton silently mouths something. The Doctor nods, and tucks his thumbs in his lapels. “Yes, superstitious nonsense. Hmm?” Silence. “Chesterton, stop m… stop, stop, stop mooning about, and go down that hole, would you?”
Number of Episodes: 12 episodes, including a lengthy subplot (written by Terry Nation) in which the characters are put on trial for murder and fight evil robots on the Sun.
Ep 1.: Doctor Who and the Impossible Planet
Ep 2: Doctor Who and the Space Slaves
Ep 3: Doctor Who and the Pit of Doom
Ep 4: Doctor Who and the Ultimate Evil
Ep 6: Doctor Who and the Moon Emergency
Ep 7: Doctor Who and the Sun-Bot Invasion
Ep 8: Doctor Who and the Revenge of the Sun-Bots
Ep 9: Doctor Who and the Trial of the Sun-Bots
Ep 10: Doctor Who and the Return to The Pit of Doom
Ep 11: Doctor Who and the Devils from Time
Ep 12: Doctor Who and the Rocketship Escape
The BBC will later destroy the tapes to make room for their Ask Pickles archive. Fans who reconstruct the storyline from Radio News production stills and 40-year-old memories will alternately declare it “the greatest plotline ever” and “incredibly boring, with a subjective viewing time of nine-billion hours.”
Leap of Faith?: No. The Doctor sends Ian into the Pit, where Ian wrestles with a “Time Devil,” a man in a clumsy rubber costume. Ian knocks the Time Devil down a shaft, and it dies. That would be about all, because Black Holes had not yet entered popular SF.
Second Doctor
Quote: “A Black Hole, Jamie. A hole in time and space. Nothing can escape from it - not even the TARDIS!” (This is followed by a comic bit with the recorder.)
Number of Episodes and Response : Six. All copies are supposedly lost during the great Goon Show teleplay shelf-space reassignment, but a kinescope copy is later discovered underneath the grease trap of the BBC cafeteria.
Ep. 1: The Incredible Planet
Ep. 2: The Hole in Time
Ep. 3: The Cosmic Evil
Ep. 4: The Abyss
Ep. 5: The Old Enemy
Ep. 6: The Great Escape
Younger fans are terrified by the possessed Ood. Questions are raised in Parliament about the need for stricter broadcast regulations, and the Archbishop of Canterbury expresses “concern” about the occult content of the show.
Leap of Faith?: Yes, but the Pit is only 20 feet deep, and he doesn’t so much leap as stumble. While down in the Pit, the Doctor finds out that the Great Intelligence is behind everything, and they have a psychic battle.
Third Doctor
Quote: “No sentient creature has the right to enslave another, Jo. The only Devil here is mankind’s inhumanity to the Ood.”
Number of Episodes and Response: Four. Released on VHS in the 80s, and now available in a deluxe DVD edition.
Ep. 1: The Impossible Planet
Ep. 2: The Slaves of Space
Ep. 3: The Revenge of the Ood
Ep 4: The Pit of Satan
It’s a midseason storyline, fondly remembered by most. Stodgier critics cringe at the strident antislavery message, preferring their entertainment devoid of social commentary. A BBC exec later quotes the Doctor when announcing the decision to cancel The Black and White Minstrel Show.
Leap of Faith?: No, but Jo accidentally trips and falls into the Pit as a cliff-hanger, only to be seen clinging to a vine about five feet down in the next episode. The entire story would be about how the Doctor Teaches the Ood About This Thing You Call Free-Dom. The man with a gun would get a snoot-full of Venusian Aikido. All the weirdness is caused by a mind-control ray built by the Master, who escapes at the last second.
Fourth Doctor
Quote: “Satan? Really? How extraordinary. I always thought they’d done you a disservice in Faust…” “SILENCE!” “…but Paradise Lost, now there was a…” “SILENCE!” “You heard the Devil, K-9, do be quiet now, there’s a good fellow.”
Number of Episodes and Response: Four, partially written by Douglas Adams.
Ep. 1: The Doomed Planet
Ep. 2: The Pit of Death
Ep. 3: The Ultimate Enemy
Ep. 4: The Guardians of Evil
Leap of Faith?: Sort of. The Doctor abseils down the side of the Pit with his scarf, but falls part of the way. Some impressive chroma-key effects are used to create a giant blotchy red energy-being that calls itself Satan. The Doctor decodes the weird writing, and discovers that the Ood were the guardians of Satan. He smashes a clay vase, and releases them from servitude, and they use their mind-powers to entrap Satan in the pit again.