Riddle 010: No Thanks, Milkman [Fail!Filter to Harley]

[puzzlerprince]

[You might hear the sounds of an attack turkey banging against a door. Edward's managed to trap it in his bedroom closet... for now.]

H-H-Harley?! Do you still have that mallet? I may need some help with---

[There's a sound like wood splintering. And breaking. Edward shrieks, accordingly.

Happy Thanksgiving, Mayfield.]

Comments

[strike_you_out]

[The turkey has launched itself airborne in the direction of Edward's face when suddenly, it's struck by an arc of gold and sent careening into the far wall with a slimy THUD.

And just whom is responsible for saving your face from this undead poultry monstrosity, Edward? Why, it is none other than your "SON". (It was an accident, really; he just felt like hitting something.)

Slugger rests the bat on his shoulder, grinning.]

[puzzlerprince]

[Edward just freezes in place, unsure of what to be more shocked about. The turkey that came to life and attacked him so viciously, or his psychotic "son" saving his life.]

Th-thank you?

[strike_you_out]

You let it in the house?

[Oh "Father", you've screwed up royally this time. Susan's going to be pissed.]

This is worse than the liver.

[puzzlerprince]

I just found it on the porch! I suppose I should have been a bit more careful, but---

Wait. No, if anything, the liver is still worse! At least you could get rid of the turkey easily. That smell? It'll take at least a day to air that room out!

[crazyclownwoman]

I'm - Kinda- usin' it -- right -now!

[Whacks in all the pauses. Guess who's turkey was full of spiders.]

[puzzlerprince]

Now's no time to be s-selfish, Harley!

[crazyclownwoman]

I'm - being - attacked - by spiders!

It's the perfect time!

[puzzlerprince]

Well, I'm being attacked by an undead turkey! What do you think is more important right now?!