Serpentine 8/65
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Serpentine: Chapter Eight
IN WHICH ANITA RUINS THE MOOD
Picking up from where we left off, Renard and Wolverine are having a bubble bath when Kitten and Robin walk in on them. Robin immediately strips off his clothes and jumps in because he is a nymphomaniac. Kitten meanwhile stares like a dumbass at dat ass as Renard so out of characterly puts it, and decides to put her weapons and holsters on the sides of the heated pool instead of on a shelf or something. She gets a happy over her mental objectification of her menz and thinks about how the first time she and Wolverine had sex water and soap was involved. I think the fact that Rapist in Chief had to use liquid soap as lube is a prime indicator that her body was not telling him yes, just like her mouth was not telling him yes. Consent: More of a Suggestion than a Rule.
There was also a random tangent in the second paragraph of the chapter where Anita is describing Jean-Claude and she talks about gym routines and building muscle. Jean-Claude cannot bulk up not because he is a vampire and, yaknow, a walking corpse but because he is “built like a long-distance runner”. This annoys me so much. SO MUCH. Part of what makes vampires so great is that they don't change, and they are supernaturally strong without going to the gym. Shapeshifters can bench trucks as a baseline. What the hell is a rowing machine going to do?! This ret-con was probably my main dislike of Kiss the Dead, an AB:VH book I actually liked enough to go and by a paperback copy of.
Richard going to the gym to be a better shifter in the early books actually made sense to me. I always read that as him going to learn control. Yes, he could dead lift a couple hundred pounds, but he needed to be able to learn the limits of his human side verses the wolf. He took fighting lessons in order to be more efficient at utilizing the power his wolf gave him. Basically, to not be superman living in a cardboard world. Remember, this is a universe where werewolves and lions and what have you actual call sex the killing dance because people regularly lose control during intercourse and eat their wives/husbands/lovers.
With that mini rant out of the way, Jean-Claude rises out of the water like a mermaid, “lifting themselves up on rocks at the edge of the seas to kiss their sailors, or princes.” (p.61) Taken alone I have no problem with the imagery. Taken within the context of the preceding twenty-five books, I do. Anita is casting herself as the prince in this relationship which she does all the damn time. It annoys me and ruins my mood.
Contrary to the mermaid/prince bit, I have to say that Jean-Claude undressing Anita was sweet and loving and everything I do not expect to see in an AB:VH novel. Jean-Claude takes his time unlacing her boots and striping her clothes, giving each part of his human servant the attention it deserves. This isn't some arduer fueled fuck-fest. This is two people who care about each other enjoying the moment. Unfortunately as is usual for Hamilton she then ruins it by having Nathaniel and Micah open their big stupid mouths to remind us all that they exist.
Jean-Claude then starts tickling Anita's knees -again, I find the interactions between the two of them adorable- but Anita somehow falls over herself and into the tub. She blames her jeans. I assume she's wearing skinny jeans because there's no way regular Levi's would be tight enough to cause someone to trip. Swimming to the surface, Anita remembers how the first time she and Jean-Claude made love she had also fallen into the bath. I'm surprised she doesn't also remember how it was precipitated by her freaking out and covered in Richard goo. Remember kids! It's not rape if the object of your affections is not in their right mind to protest! Life lessons from Laurell K. Hamilton.
Nathaniel wants to use the jeans for bondage because he is an ass, but Anita blurts out how Micah ought to talk to Melanie about the 'sad shapeshifters' and shoots the mood in the head. Jean-Claude is annoyed because his romantic overtures have been ruined, as well as his carefully pinned hair. I don't blame him. On one hand I am annoyed on behalf of Jean-Claude and to a lesser extent Nathaniel. JC put effort into making the evening a nice one, and bringing up horror stories in the middle of foreplay is not how you do that. On the other hand I am offended on behalf of the snake shifters. They specifically excluded Nathaniel from the consultations and only reluctantly allowed Micah to bring Anita in. Talking about the case in a goddamn bath pool with two unapproved individuals pisses on Client Confidentiality.
But, since Micah refuses to call them clients I guess he doesn't care.
Nathaniel and Jean-Claude throw a hissy fit about work being brought up, but then reveal they are more annoyed how Anita and Micah share more of their professional lives with each other than with them. As Jean-Claude puts it:
“I would say that all four of us have seen horrors that haunt us. We are none of us sheep that need to be tended and watched over; we are wolves to hunt together. I do not know when you decided that you and Anita were the wolves to our sheep, but it is not true. We must be equals, or at least the power must not be so uneven as this.” (p.67-68),
I sort of agree with the sentiment? But, like, I know Jean-Claude's animal to call is the wolf but he does remember at minimum two of his fellow bathers are wereleopards? You'd think being compared to a wolf would be insulting. Anyway, it is revealed that the Coalition is actually just Micah and he needs to hire some underlings to help with the workload. Micah and Anita agree to being at fault for ruining the mood and promise to have some great apology sex after Jean-Claude fixes his hair.
Serpentine: Chapter Eight
IN WHICH ANITA RUINS THE MOOD
Picking up from where we left off, Renard and Wolverine are having a bubble bath when Kitten and Robin walk in on them. Robin immediately strips off his clothes and jumps in because he is a nymphomaniac. Kitten meanwhile stares like a dumbass at dat ass as Renard so out of characterly puts it, and decides to put her weapons and holsters on the sides of the heated pool instead of on a shelf or something. She gets a happy over her mental objectification of her menz and thinks about how the first time she and Wolverine had sex water and soap was involved. I think the fact that Rapist in Chief had to use liquid soap as lube is a prime indicator that her body was not telling him yes, just like her mouth was not telling him yes. Consent: More of a Suggestion than a Rule.
There was also a random tangent in the second paragraph of the chapter where Anita is describing Jean-Claude and she talks about gym routines and building muscle. Jean-Claude cannot bulk up not because he is a vampire and, yaknow, a walking corpse but because he is “built like a long-distance runner”. This annoys me so much. SO MUCH. Part of what makes vampires so great is that they don't change, and they are supernaturally strong without going to the gym. Shapeshifters can bench trucks as a baseline. What the hell is a rowing machine going to do?! This ret-con was probably my main dislike of Kiss the Dead, an AB:VH book I actually liked enough to go and by a paperback copy of.
Richard going to the gym to be a better shifter in the early books actually made sense to me. I always read that as him going to learn control. Yes, he could dead lift a couple hundred pounds, but he needed to be able to learn the limits of his human side verses the wolf. He took fighting lessons in order to be more efficient at utilizing the power his wolf gave him. Basically, to not be superman living in a cardboard world. Remember, this is a universe where werewolves and lions and what have you actual call sex the killing dance because people regularly lose control during intercourse and eat their wives/husbands/lovers.
With that mini rant out of the way, Jean-Claude rises out of the water like a mermaid, “lifting themselves up on rocks at the edge of the seas to kiss their sailors, or princes.” (p.61) Taken alone I have no problem with the imagery. Taken within the context of the preceding twenty-five books, I do. Anita is casting herself as the prince in this relationship which she does all the damn time. It annoys me and ruins my mood.
Contrary to the mermaid/prince bit, I have to say that Jean-Claude undressing Anita was sweet and loving and everything I do not expect to see in an AB:VH novel. Jean-Claude takes his time unlacing her boots and striping her clothes, giving each part of his human servant the attention it deserves. This isn't some arduer fueled fuck-fest. This is two people who care about each other enjoying the moment. Unfortunately as is usual for Hamilton she then ruins it by having Nathaniel and Micah open their big stupid mouths to remind us all that they exist.
Jean-Claude then starts tickling Anita's knees -again, I find the interactions between the two of them adorable- but Anita somehow falls over herself and into the tub. She blames her jeans. I assume she's wearing skinny jeans because there's no way regular Levi's would be tight enough to cause someone to trip. Swimming to the surface, Anita remembers how the first time she and Jean-Claude made love she had also fallen into the bath. I'm surprised she doesn't also remember how it was precipitated by her freaking out and covered in Richard goo. Remember kids! It's not rape if the object of your affections is not in their right mind to protest! Life lessons from Laurell K. Hamilton.
Nathaniel wants to use the jeans for bondage because he is an ass, but Anita blurts out how Micah ought to talk to Melanie about the 'sad shapeshifters' and shoots the mood in the head. Jean-Claude is annoyed because his romantic overtures have been ruined, as well as his carefully pinned hair. I don't blame him. On one hand I am annoyed on behalf of Jean-Claude and to a lesser extent Nathaniel. JC put effort into making the evening a nice one, and bringing up horror stories in the middle of foreplay is not how you do that. On the other hand I am offended on behalf of the snake shifters. They specifically excluded Nathaniel from the consultations and only reluctantly allowed Micah to bring Anita in. Talking about the case in a goddamn bath pool with two unapproved individuals pisses on Client Confidentiality.
But, since Micah refuses to call them clients I guess he doesn't care.
Nathaniel and Jean-Claude throw a hissy fit about work being brought up, but then reveal they are more annoyed how Anita and Micah share more of their professional lives with each other than with them. As Jean-Claude puts it:
“I would say that all four of us have seen horrors that haunt us. We are none of us sheep that need to be tended and watched over; we are wolves to hunt together. I do not know when you decided that you and Anita were the wolves to our sheep, but it is not true. We must be equals, or at least the power must not be so uneven as this.” (p.67-68),
I sort of agree with the sentiment? But, like, I know Jean-Claude's animal to call is the wolf but he does remember at minimum two of his fellow bathers are wereleopards? You'd think being compared to a wolf would be insulting. Anyway, it is revealed that the Coalition is actually just Micah and he needs to hire some underlings to help with the workload. Micah and Anita agree to being at fault for ruining the mood and promise to have some great apology sex after Jean-Claude fixes his hair.