Serpentine 3/65
Chapter Two
Serpentine: Chapter Three
In Which I Stand On A Soapbox And Anita Trips On Her Own Ego
Anita, following the commands of Mirror!Donna, goes searching for Nathaniel. The way she describes the dress she is wearing makes me think it is less a dress and more like a wearable M.C. Escher painting. She’s got it wadded up in her arms to hide her humongous hooters, but there is still enough material to trail on the ground and trip her up.
Either ‘Ma Petite’ is small enough to be mistaken for a child in a grown woman’s dress, or it isn’t a dress. As Nathaniel thinks she’s “adorable” when swimming in fabric I remember his habits when it comes to Cynric and shudder. Ew. Just, ew.
After getting our mandatory detailed description of the lilac/lavender/violet/purple eyed wereleopard Anita offers a rundown of how she has two bodyguards on the from door of the Forever Bridal because reasons. Their names are Millerlite and Pudding. Actually, that isn’t their names at all but they will be forgotten and their descriptions retconned later so who cares.
There is more talk of scars as Nicky arrives on scene. He has cut his hair to show off his missing eye, or something. Now, if you don’t remember Anita basically ate this dude’s freewill when she made him her Bride. He, like Damien, literally cannot go against her orders. Like Damien, he has a direct connection to Anita’s hindbrain and just ‘knows’ what she wants/likes. His whole purpose as a Bride is to serve her will and make her happy. Unlike Damien, the connection only goes one way and Anita cannot feel Nicky.
Now, if you have read any of Laurell K. Hamilton’s previous novels you would know that the author and her avatars have a major kink in men with long hair. It was pointed out in one book how Anita and Micah had agreed to never cut their hair without the permission of the other, and presumably this yen is why the trim that Nathaniel gets in Crimson Death is so heart wrenching. And yet, NICKY CUT HIS HAIR.
It has been stated in previous books that death is the only thing that can break a metaphysical bond - well, until Anita got super retcon powers anyway. It is how she (temporarily) separated from Jean-Claude at the end of Book 3 when her heart stopped. In Kiss the Dead Nicky’s heart stopped in the showers after Anita had been feeding off him. It is this floggers belief that after they managed to get his heart beating again the Bridal bond was kaput. As there is no way for Anita to check on the status of such a one-way bond, and she’s got like a billion already, it is entirely possible Nicky is not a mind-slave anymore but is also not a dumbass that is going to reveal himself in the middle of enemy territory.
The exchange that happens regarding Donna’s manhandling of Dixie also, I believe, supports my non-Bride Nicky theory:
“Edward’s been teaching her some of his moves,” Nicky said.
“Ted has been teaching her moves,” I corrected.
“I know better than to make slips like that. Sorry.” (p. 31)
Can you taste the sarcasm in that apology? See, Nicky in addition to being a sociopath, killer, mercenary, and consummate actor has always been very precise in his speech. If he said Edward, he meant Edward. And he does know better. He made that slip on fucking purpose, because this wedding is a goddamn sham and he knows it.
And you know who else knows it? My gal Dixie. She’s pissed because she’s stuck doing all the work of a wedding coordinator without any of the pay or recognition. Their third, Denny, is supposed to be getting these things organized but Denny is off training for triathlons because even she knows how shallow the wedding between Mirror!Donna and Podward is.
We get all this bridal party backstory from Nathaniel, because in addition to smelling like Vanilla and having Alexandria’s Genesis his Mary-Sue powers include taking over wedding prep. He claims to not be happy about it, but then he turns around and suggests that they pretend him, Anita, and Nicky were having sex in the aisles.
Because… why?
Didn’t Anita just get out of an argument over her being a whore/slut/Mistress? Not helpful, Nate. Not helpful at all.
Of course it is even less helpful when Anita refuses Nicky’s assistance with her dress (he suggests just picking her up and carrying her back to the group, after stating that the dress is a danger to her life) and ends up tripping on the hem and giving Donna, Dixie, and presumably the tailor double shot of creamy mounds of goodness.
Stay classy, Anita.
Oh, and there’s a bit in there somewhere with Anita reflects on the death of Domino and how her therapist had to inform her what guilt was. But then Nathaniel starts making Peter Pan references and I had to chase down my eyes from where they rolled out of my skull.
Serpentine: Chapter Three
In Which I Stand On A Soapbox And Anita Trips On Her Own Ego
Anita, following the commands of Mirror!Donna, goes searching for Nathaniel. The way she describes the dress she is wearing makes me think it is less a dress and more like a wearable M.C. Escher painting. She’s got it wadded up in her arms to hide her humongous hooters, but there is still enough material to trail on the ground and trip her up.
Either ‘Ma Petite’ is small enough to be mistaken for a child in a grown woman’s dress, or it isn’t a dress. As Nathaniel thinks she’s “adorable” when swimming in fabric I remember his habits when it comes to Cynric and shudder. Ew. Just, ew.
After getting our mandatory detailed description of the lilac/lavender/violet/purple eyed wereleopard Anita offers a rundown of how she has two bodyguards on the from door of the Forever Bridal because reasons. Their names are Millerlite and Pudding. Actually, that isn’t their names at all but they will be forgotten and their descriptions retconned later so who cares.
There is more talk of scars as Nicky arrives on scene. He has cut his hair to show off his missing eye, or something. Now, if you don’t remember Anita basically ate this dude’s freewill when she made him her Bride. He, like Damien, literally cannot go against her orders. Like Damien, he has a direct connection to Anita’s hindbrain and just ‘knows’ what she wants/likes. His whole purpose as a Bride is to serve her will and make her happy. Unlike Damien, the connection only goes one way and Anita cannot feel Nicky.
Now, if you have read any of Laurell K. Hamilton’s previous novels you would know that the author and her avatars have a major kink in men with long hair. It was pointed out in one book how Anita and Micah had agreed to never cut their hair without the permission of the other, and presumably this yen is why the trim that Nathaniel gets in Crimson Death is so heart wrenching. And yet, NICKY CUT HIS HAIR.
It has been stated in previous books that death is the only thing that can break a metaphysical bond - well, until Anita got super retcon powers anyway. It is how she (temporarily) separated from Jean-Claude at the end of Book 3 when her heart stopped. In Kiss the Dead Nicky’s heart stopped in the showers after Anita had been feeding off him. It is this floggers belief that after they managed to get his heart beating again the Bridal bond was kaput. As there is no way for Anita to check on the status of such a one-way bond, and she’s got like a billion already, it is entirely possible Nicky is not a mind-slave anymore but is also not a dumbass that is going to reveal himself in the middle of enemy territory.
The exchange that happens regarding Donna’s manhandling of Dixie also, I believe, supports my non-Bride Nicky theory:
“Edward’s been teaching her some of his moves,” Nicky said.
“Ted has been teaching her moves,” I corrected.
“I know better than to make slips like that. Sorry.” (p. 31)
Can you taste the sarcasm in that apology? See, Nicky in addition to being a sociopath, killer, mercenary, and consummate actor has always been very precise in his speech. If he said Edward, he meant Edward. And he does know better. He made that slip on fucking purpose, because this wedding is a goddamn sham and he knows it.
And you know who else knows it? My gal Dixie. She’s pissed because she’s stuck doing all the work of a wedding coordinator without any of the pay or recognition. Their third, Denny, is supposed to be getting these things organized but Denny is off training for triathlons because even she knows how shallow the wedding between Mirror!Donna and Podward is.
We get all this bridal party backstory from Nathaniel, because in addition to smelling like Vanilla and having Alexandria’s Genesis his Mary-Sue powers include taking over wedding prep. He claims to not be happy about it, but then he turns around and suggests that they pretend him, Anita, and Nicky were having sex in the aisles.
Because… why?
Didn’t Anita just get out of an argument over her being a whore/slut/Mistress? Not helpful, Nate. Not helpful at all.
Of course it is even less helpful when Anita refuses Nicky’s assistance with her dress (he suggests just picking her up and carrying her back to the group, after stating that the dress is a danger to her life) and ends up tripping on the hem and giving Donna, Dixie, and presumably the tailor double shot of creamy mounds of goodness.
Stay classy, Anita.
Oh, and there’s a bit in there somewhere with Anita reflects on the death of Domino and how her therapist had to inform her what guilt was. But then Nathaniel starts making Peter Pan references and I had to chase down my eyes from where they rolled out of my skull.
