Fic: Can't be Normal (2 of 4)
Title: Can’t be normal (2 of 4)
Author: pterawaters
Rating: R
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Puck/Kurt, Finn
Genre: AU, friendship, romance
Warning: transgendered FTM!Puck, slash
Spoilers: Fairly AU, references a few things from seasons 1 and 2
Disclaimer: Glee is not mine, at all.
Author Notes: This is a fill for ice_whisper ’s awesome prompt. Posted at puckurt and glee_genderplay. Thanks so much for all your comments, guys! I'm posting tonight instead of tomorrow, so the next chapter probably won't come until Tuesday.
Summary: Puck always knew he was a boy, even if his body didn’t agree with him. He had an awesome mom, a dad who couldn’t deal, and moved to Lima for a fresh start. It worked and no one besides Puck’s family and his best friend knew about who Puck used to be. Not even Puck’s boyfriend.
Word Count: 3000
Chapter 1
When Finn had gotten himself roped into the glee club and Quinn came to Puck asking, “Want to come by my place later and commiserate on my boyfriend’s fall into social martyrdom?” he declined.
“No thanks, Quinn.”
“Come on,” she smiled, taking his arm and leaning up to whisper in his ear. “I’ve got wine coolers. Who knows? You may even get lucky.”
Pushing the girl away, Puck rolled his eyes and said, “First of all, Finn’s my boy. Even if he’s singing in some stupid choir, I’m not hooking up with his freaking girlfriend.” Quinn looked a little cowed but then smirked and stepped forward like she was going to try palming his junk to see if that worked. Puck caught her hand before she could find out he wasn’t quite all-dude and was so mad at her and upset that she thought she could just get to him like that that Puck admitted, “And second, I’m gay.”
“What?” Quinn laughed, crossing her arms under her breasts. “No you’re not. You’ve slept with half the Cheerios.”
“I made out with half the Cheerios,” Puck corrected. “None of them ever got into my pants, despite what they might have told you. Because I’m. Fucking. Gay. Get over it.”
Quinn harrumphed and turned on her heel, her cheerleading skirt swirling around her hips as she went and Puck thanked God that he’d transitioned when he had and hadn’t let his dad push him into being someone like Quinn, with her hair and her boobs and her short, flirty skirt. Puck probably would have killed himself.
**88**
After glee club practice - yes, Puck had been roped into joining the stupid thing - Kurt came up to him and asked, “Is it true?”
Knowing better than to jump to any conclusions, Puck asked, “Is what true, Hummel?”
“Word around school is that you told Quinn you’re …” Kurt whispered the last word, like it was a secret, “gay.”
Sizing up his options and deciding Dr. Nelson was right and it did feel better just putting the truth out there, Puck shrugged, “Yeah, it’s true. So what?”
“Wow, I never would have guessed,” Kurt muttered, putting one hand on his hip before leaning forward and whispering, “I am too.”
“No shit,” Puck snorted, laughing a little when Kurt looked shocked that he knew. “Dude, you’re like the flamingest homo. Everybody knows.”
“My dad knew,” Kurt nodded. “I told him the other day after the football game.”
“Everybody,” Puck confirmed, readjusting his bag on his shoulder. “We don’t have to hug or anything, do we?”
“No!” Kurt squeaked and Puck swore the dude’s voice was higher than Norah’s had ever been. “No, I mean, not unless you want to.”
Puck considered it. He considered throwing Kurt against the wall and kissing him, too. Hummel wasn’t the butchest of dudes, but at least he was a guy. He probably smelled like a guy under that lotion he was always using and he probably had a pretty nice cock, if he didn’t stuff those skinny jeans of his or anything.
But then he realized that Kurt was capital-G gay. He’d want to be with a boy who had a dick, not one who had a stupid vagina. Puck couldn’t start something with the kid only to stop again when Kurt found out who he really was. It would suck to no end.
“No thanks,” Puck replied, leaving Kurt in the choir room and hoping he hadn’t come off like too much of a douche.
**88**
Things were pretty good for the rest of the school year. Karofsky and Azimio got on his case about being gay once in a while, but they didn’t try to sneak a look at his non-existent cock in the shower room or anything. Mostly they went after Kurt and, because he was the leader of glee club, Finn. Then word got back to Puck’s mom.
“Noah, honey,” she said, knocking on his open bedroom door and letting herself in. “Can I talk to you about something for a minute?”
“Sure,” Puck sighed, putting away his math book - it still didn’t make much sense six months later.
Ruth sat down on Puck’s bed and started by saying, “I was talking with Carole just now…”
“Okay.”
“She said that Finn mentioned that ... well, he said that you were gay. You’re not gay, are you Noah?”
Shit. His mom had put up with so much while he was growing up and she was so good about him needing to be a boy. Why couldn’t Puck be normal and straight like almost everyone else? Looking into his mom’s eyes, though, Puck saw the woman who had stuck by him thick and thin, so he told her the truth. “I think I am.”
“And so you like … boys?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, his mouth dry as he watched her try to process this information. Eventually she nodded and patted his knee.
“You never fail to surprise me, Noah,” she said, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. “Now, if you have a boyfriend, I want to meet him, alright?”
“I don’t … have one, I mean,” Puck told her. “I’ve never even, I mean there’s this one gay kid at school, in glee club, and he’s alright or whatever. But what happens when he finds out about Norah?”
Ruth shrugged and smoothed down some of the hair on Puck’s head. “I think it will probably depend on the boy. Maybe you shouldn’t date anytime soon, honey. Not if you want people to keep treating you like a young man.”
“Yeah, alright,” Puck nodded, watching his mother get up and leave the room and resigning himself to the fact that it was probably just going to be him and his hand for the foreseeable future. Maybe if he could figure out this fucking math shit, he could go to college and find a boy who was bisexual or whatever. That kind of guy would probably like the fact that Puck’s junk was still like a girl’s. He’d probably be all over that and then Puck would get to have sex and … Getting up, Puck closed his door and turned out his light so he could lose himself in thoughts of what college would be like.
**88**
One day, mid junior year, Karofsky did the unthinkable and pushed Puck into a bank of lockers, hard. Okay, words were one thing. Words he could fucking deal with. This shit he couldn’t. Storming into the locker room after Karofsky, Puck yelled, “What is your problem, man?”
“Girl’s locker room is across the hall,” the guy replied calmly, taking his football cleats out of his locker.
For a brief, terrifying second, Puck thought Karofsky had figured him out. But no, nobody knew besides Finn and Puck trusted his best friend to take that secret to the grave. Instead, Puck growled and muttered, “Get over it, Karofsky. I’m gay. Deal.”
“I don’t want to deal,” he shot back, watching as Puck approached. “You’re probably just here to sneak a peek at my junk. I shouldn’t have to-”
“Sorry to burst your bubble or whatever,” Puck replied, getting right up in Karofsky’s face, “but you’re not my type, fat ass. I may like boys but that doesn’t mean I dig on sweaty, balding motherfuckers like you.”
“Oh yeah?” Karofsky replied, breathing out heavily through his nose like a bull about to charge.
“Yeah,” Puck replied forcefully, giving Karofsky a little push. Sure the guy was taller than Puck and bulkier but Puck was a boy. He could handle himself.
“Don’t push me, homo.”
“Why? Because you’re so threatened by me, you fucking coward? What did I ever do to you?”
And then Karofsky grabbed Puck’s head and kissed him almost painfully, pressing Puck’s lips against his teeth like it was the only thing keeping him alive at the moment. With a terrified little noise, Karofsky pulled back, meeting Puck’s gaze, which he was sure looked at least half as surprised as he felt. The kid leaned in for another kiss, so Puck pushed him away. He hadn’t been kidding when he said the jock wasn’t his type. Puck had been dreaming about soft hands and high voices lately, not hairy backs and bad breath.
Karofsky punched the lockers beside them and brushed by Puck to escape the room, running away from what he obviously was. Coward.
Lips bruised from that stupid kiss and hands shaking with the adrenaline of a fight, Puck wandered back out into the hallway and made his way to class, sitting in the back like always.
Finn wasn’t in this class with him, but Kurt was and he must have noticed something was wrong because he took the seat next to Puck’s and asked, “Did someone shoot your dog or something?”
“I don’t even have a dog,” Puck replied, shutting up when the bell rang and the teacher started talking about the Civil War or something. Ripping a piece of paper out of the back of his notebook, Puck wrote, “Karofsky just kissed me. I think he’s gay.”
A few minutes after Puck threw the note onto Kurt’s desk when the teacher’s back was turned, he got a reply, “So are you two going out now?”
“Fuck NO!” Puck wrote back, underlining the second word about a million times. “We were fighting and he totally sprung that shit on me. Besides, I don’t date gorillas.”
Beside him, Kurt looked stuck between sending Puck a sympathetic glare and laughing at his description of Karofsky. Eventually he handed back a note that said, “He’s probably not coming out of the closet anytime soon. You don’t want to deal with a guy like that.”
Okay, maybe Puck was imagining things, but he could swear Kurt batted his eyelids when Puck looked over at him once more before the bell rang. As they left the classroom, Kurt leaned in and told Puck, “I’m just glad it wasn’t me. I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to confront him ever since I met this other gay boy, Blaine, a few days ago. I don’t even want to think about being kissed by that Neanderthal.”
“His breath smelled like ass,” Puck admitted, laughing a little until he saw Karofsky headed in their direction, murder in his eyes. Throwing his arm around Kurt, Puck whispered, “Don’t let on that I told you, okay?”
“O-okay,” Kurt nodded, looking at Puck’s hand on his shoulder like it was the greatest thing ever. Wow. Alright. Maybe giving things a shot with Kurt wouldn’t be so bad if his approval of the gesture made Puck feel this good.
As Karofsky passed them he sneered and said, “Fags!”
“Takes one to know one,” Puck called after him, grinning at Kurt when he turned back around. “I think he might try to kill me one of these days.”
“I won’t let him,” Kurt insisted, putting his hand over Puck’s on his shoulder and lacing their fingers together. “Is this okay?”
Heart beating in overtime and body singing, Puck nodded, stopping at Kurt’s locker and whispering in his ear, “More than okay, babe.”
**88**
"Dude," Finn said when he caught Puck in the hall after class, "are you dating Kurt?"
"Guess so," Puck shrugged. "Why? You got a problem with that?"
"No," Finn insisted. "No. I was just, I mean what happens when...?" Finn pointed to Puck's crotch and raised an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure he won't expect that."
"No shit," Puck sighed. "But can't I just date someone I want to date for awhile at least? I mean, it's not like he's gonna want to do it right away. We haven't even kissed yet."
"You gotta tell him eventually," Finn insisted. "Kurt's a cool guy and he's gay so he'll get that you're different. I'll help him, you know, when our parents get married and we move in together again. We both know you're as much a guy as I am, right bro?"
"Yeah," Puck smiled, clapping his friend on the shoulder. "Yeah, thanks, Finn."
**88**
The first time Puck kissed Kurt after taking him to the movies and buying him popcorn and crap, Puck knew he was right about being gay, not that he’d ever been that confused, really. When his lips stuck to Kurt’s as they pulled apart and sent a dark shiver down his spine, Puck couldn’t help but go in for another, deeper kiss, holding Kurt’s head close and surprising him with intensity.
That time, when he pulled away, Kurt smiled widely and breathed, “I have to tell Blaine I won the bet. He didn’t think you would kiss me tonight.”
“What?” Puck scoffed, looping his hands around Kurt’s waist and pulling him as close as he dared.
“I know,” Kurt replied, giving Puck another, small kiss. “I tried telling him you’re a badass and not afraid of a little kissing.”
Puck laughed, his heart fluttering at the indulgent smile Kurt gave him. “Gonna split your winnings with me?”
“You want half of the soundtrack to ‘Eating Raoul?’”
Smiling again and noticing Burt glaring at him through the window, Puck smiled and pressed one more, short, kiss to Kurt’s lips, telling him, “I don’t even know what that is, so why don’t you keep it.”
“Your knowledge of obscure Broadway musicals is vastly underdeveloped, Noah. We might have to change that.”
“You learn the stats for the Bengals’ starting players and I’ll think about learning more about musicals. Deal?”
“Deal,” Kurt nodded, giving Puck one last heart-stopping smile before slipping into the house.
**88**
"Mmm," Kurt murmured, his lips pressed against Puck's neck and his hands creeping southward from their place on Puck's ribs. Puck had never been more turned on in his life, soaking his boxers (despite the hormone supplements that usually made him dry) just from making out with Kurt in the back of the guy's car.
"You're so fucking hot," Puck sighed against Kurt's lips, his fingers finding their way into the boy's shirt/vest combo.
Whining, Kurt let his hand drift further down and suddenly the panic set in. Puck grabbed Kurt's wrist and dragged his boyfriend's hand up further, away from his junk. Puck tried to just keep kissing Kurt, like nothing had happened, but Kurt pulled back instead.
Putting on a semi-hurt expression, Kurt asked, "You don't want?"
"I..." Puck debated telling Kurt who he really was, but was overcome with the fear that Kurt would totally freak out on him. No, he couldn't tell. Not yet. Definitely not yet. Kurt was still looking at him for some sort of explanation, so Puck insisted, "I do want, babe. It's just...it's just despite anything you might have heard about me, I've never been past second base. That's lame, isn't it?"
"Never?" Kurt asked. "Santana claims you and she ... like, from before you knew you were gay."
"I've known I was gay for a long time," Puck insisted. "I just didn't want to be. Santana made that crap up because she wants to be head Cheerio. It never happened."
"Oh," Kurt nodded. "But you do want to go further eventually, right?"
"So fucking bad," Puck nodded, "but just not ... not tonight, okay?"
Kurt chuckled and nodded before moving closer and whispering in Puck's ear, "Someday soon? I want to be the one to tame the supposed sex shark of McKinley high."
Shivering, Puck nodded and pulled Kurt into another kiss, distracting them both.
**88**
"Fuck, dude," Puck sighed into the phone after Kurt dropped him at home post-date. "I think I gotta tell him, Finn."
"Yeah," his best friend replied. "You guys have been dating for like, two months. It's time."
"What if he freaks out and tells everyone?" Puck sat down heavily on his bed.
"He won't," Finn insisted. "Kurt won't tell. I'm not sure how he'll react exactly, but he won't tell anyone. I promise."
Clenching his teeth together, Puck snorted in disbelief. "He's gonna break up with me at least. He's gonna realize I can't...I can't, you know, fuck him the way he probably wants it. Not with my own equipment anyway."
Finn sniffed a little and said, "That's my brother, dude. I don't want to think about him having sex!"
"Well, he's not going to be," Puck insisted. "He's going to find out I used to be a chick and run screaming."
"I don't think you're giving him enough credit."
Turning over onto his stomach, Puck asked, "Why d'ya say that?"
"Because," Finn explained, "you've always told me gender is in your head, not in your pants. Kurt's totally into you. He's not going to mind."
"He's gay, Finn," Puck huffed. "Kurt probably dreams about cock as much as I do."
Finn made another displeased noise before offering, "I'll help you tell him. I've got your back, dude."
"When?" Puck asked, wondering how much longer he could get away with keeping Kurt, who obviously wanted Puck's cock, at arm's length.
"Should do it tomorrow," Finn replied and, fuck, that was much sooner than Puck was planning on.
"I don't know..."
"Dude, you gotta man up and do this. Every day you don't you're pretty much lying to my little brother."
Puck snorted, "Kurt's older than you and almost as tall as me, Finn."
"Don't change the subject or whatever," Puck's friend insisted. "Come over tomorrow morning or I'll drag you over here, alright?"
Holding his breath for a moment, Puck tried to think of any way of getting out of this short of breaking up with Kurt. He really didn't want to break up with Kurt. The guy was awesome and was a great kisser and understood Puck better than anyone besides Finn had before. Telling him the truth was the only way to keep him. "Okay," Puck replied as he let of a long, whooshing breath. "Okay, dude."
"Good," Finn replied. "'Night, Puck."
Chapter 3
Author: pterawaters
Rating: R
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Puck/Kurt, Finn
Genre: AU, friendship, romance
Warning: transgendered FTM!Puck, slash
Spoilers: Fairly AU, references a few things from seasons 1 and 2
Disclaimer: Glee is not mine, at all.
Author Notes: This is a fill for ice_whisper ’s awesome prompt. Posted at puckurt and glee_genderplay. Thanks so much for all your comments, guys! I'm posting tonight instead of tomorrow, so the next chapter probably won't come until Tuesday.
Summary: Puck always knew he was a boy, even if his body didn’t agree with him. He had an awesome mom, a dad who couldn’t deal, and moved to Lima for a fresh start. It worked and no one besides Puck’s family and his best friend knew about who Puck used to be. Not even Puck’s boyfriend.
Word Count: 3000
Chapter 1
When Finn had gotten himself roped into the glee club and Quinn came to Puck asking, “Want to come by my place later and commiserate on my boyfriend’s fall into social martyrdom?” he declined.
“No thanks, Quinn.”
“Come on,” she smiled, taking his arm and leaning up to whisper in his ear. “I’ve got wine coolers. Who knows? You may even get lucky.”
Pushing the girl away, Puck rolled his eyes and said, “First of all, Finn’s my boy. Even if he’s singing in some stupid choir, I’m not hooking up with his freaking girlfriend.” Quinn looked a little cowed but then smirked and stepped forward like she was going to try palming his junk to see if that worked. Puck caught her hand before she could find out he wasn’t quite all-dude and was so mad at her and upset that she thought she could just get to him like that that Puck admitted, “And second, I’m gay.”
“What?” Quinn laughed, crossing her arms under her breasts. “No you’re not. You’ve slept with half the Cheerios.”
“I made out with half the Cheerios,” Puck corrected. “None of them ever got into my pants, despite what they might have told you. Because I’m. Fucking. Gay. Get over it.”
Quinn harrumphed and turned on her heel, her cheerleading skirt swirling around her hips as she went and Puck thanked God that he’d transitioned when he had and hadn’t let his dad push him into being someone like Quinn, with her hair and her boobs and her short, flirty skirt. Puck probably would have killed himself.
**88**
After glee club practice - yes, Puck had been roped into joining the stupid thing - Kurt came up to him and asked, “Is it true?”
Knowing better than to jump to any conclusions, Puck asked, “Is what true, Hummel?”
“Word around school is that you told Quinn you’re …” Kurt whispered the last word, like it was a secret, “gay.”
Sizing up his options and deciding Dr. Nelson was right and it did feel better just putting the truth out there, Puck shrugged, “Yeah, it’s true. So what?”
“Wow, I never would have guessed,” Kurt muttered, putting one hand on his hip before leaning forward and whispering, “I am too.”
“No shit,” Puck snorted, laughing a little when Kurt looked shocked that he knew. “Dude, you’re like the flamingest homo. Everybody knows.”
“My dad knew,” Kurt nodded. “I told him the other day after the football game.”
“Everybody,” Puck confirmed, readjusting his bag on his shoulder. “We don’t have to hug or anything, do we?”
“No!” Kurt squeaked and Puck swore the dude’s voice was higher than Norah’s had ever been. “No, I mean, not unless you want to.”
Puck considered it. He considered throwing Kurt against the wall and kissing him, too. Hummel wasn’t the butchest of dudes, but at least he was a guy. He probably smelled like a guy under that lotion he was always using and he probably had a pretty nice cock, if he didn’t stuff those skinny jeans of his or anything.
But then he realized that Kurt was capital-G gay. He’d want to be with a boy who had a dick, not one who had a stupid vagina. Puck couldn’t start something with the kid only to stop again when Kurt found out who he really was. It would suck to no end.
“No thanks,” Puck replied, leaving Kurt in the choir room and hoping he hadn’t come off like too much of a douche.
**88**
Things were pretty good for the rest of the school year. Karofsky and Azimio got on his case about being gay once in a while, but they didn’t try to sneak a look at his non-existent cock in the shower room or anything. Mostly they went after Kurt and, because he was the leader of glee club, Finn. Then word got back to Puck’s mom.
“Noah, honey,” she said, knocking on his open bedroom door and letting herself in. “Can I talk to you about something for a minute?”
“Sure,” Puck sighed, putting away his math book - it still didn’t make much sense six months later.
Ruth sat down on Puck’s bed and started by saying, “I was talking with Carole just now…”
“Okay.”
“She said that Finn mentioned that ... well, he said that you were gay. You’re not gay, are you Noah?”
Shit. His mom had put up with so much while he was growing up and she was so good about him needing to be a boy. Why couldn’t Puck be normal and straight like almost everyone else? Looking into his mom’s eyes, though, Puck saw the woman who had stuck by him thick and thin, so he told her the truth. “I think I am.”
“And so you like … boys?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, his mouth dry as he watched her try to process this information. Eventually she nodded and patted his knee.
“You never fail to surprise me, Noah,” she said, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. “Now, if you have a boyfriend, I want to meet him, alright?”
“I don’t … have one, I mean,” Puck told her. “I’ve never even, I mean there’s this one gay kid at school, in glee club, and he’s alright or whatever. But what happens when he finds out about Norah?”
Ruth shrugged and smoothed down some of the hair on Puck’s head. “I think it will probably depend on the boy. Maybe you shouldn’t date anytime soon, honey. Not if you want people to keep treating you like a young man.”
“Yeah, alright,” Puck nodded, watching his mother get up and leave the room and resigning himself to the fact that it was probably just going to be him and his hand for the foreseeable future. Maybe if he could figure out this fucking math shit, he could go to college and find a boy who was bisexual or whatever. That kind of guy would probably like the fact that Puck’s junk was still like a girl’s. He’d probably be all over that and then Puck would get to have sex and … Getting up, Puck closed his door and turned out his light so he could lose himself in thoughts of what college would be like.
**88**
One day, mid junior year, Karofsky did the unthinkable and pushed Puck into a bank of lockers, hard. Okay, words were one thing. Words he could fucking deal with. This shit he couldn’t. Storming into the locker room after Karofsky, Puck yelled, “What is your problem, man?”
“Girl’s locker room is across the hall,” the guy replied calmly, taking his football cleats out of his locker.
For a brief, terrifying second, Puck thought Karofsky had figured him out. But no, nobody knew besides Finn and Puck trusted his best friend to take that secret to the grave. Instead, Puck growled and muttered, “Get over it, Karofsky. I’m gay. Deal.”
“I don’t want to deal,” he shot back, watching as Puck approached. “You’re probably just here to sneak a peek at my junk. I shouldn’t have to-”
“Sorry to burst your bubble or whatever,” Puck replied, getting right up in Karofsky’s face, “but you’re not my type, fat ass. I may like boys but that doesn’t mean I dig on sweaty, balding motherfuckers like you.”
“Oh yeah?” Karofsky replied, breathing out heavily through his nose like a bull about to charge.
“Yeah,” Puck replied forcefully, giving Karofsky a little push. Sure the guy was taller than Puck and bulkier but Puck was a boy. He could handle himself.
“Don’t push me, homo.”
“Why? Because you’re so threatened by me, you fucking coward? What did I ever do to you?”
And then Karofsky grabbed Puck’s head and kissed him almost painfully, pressing Puck’s lips against his teeth like it was the only thing keeping him alive at the moment. With a terrified little noise, Karofsky pulled back, meeting Puck’s gaze, which he was sure looked at least half as surprised as he felt. The kid leaned in for another kiss, so Puck pushed him away. He hadn’t been kidding when he said the jock wasn’t his type. Puck had been dreaming about soft hands and high voices lately, not hairy backs and bad breath.
Karofsky punched the lockers beside them and brushed by Puck to escape the room, running away from what he obviously was. Coward.
Lips bruised from that stupid kiss and hands shaking with the adrenaline of a fight, Puck wandered back out into the hallway and made his way to class, sitting in the back like always.
Finn wasn’t in this class with him, but Kurt was and he must have noticed something was wrong because he took the seat next to Puck’s and asked, “Did someone shoot your dog or something?”
“I don’t even have a dog,” Puck replied, shutting up when the bell rang and the teacher started talking about the Civil War or something. Ripping a piece of paper out of the back of his notebook, Puck wrote, “Karofsky just kissed me. I think he’s gay.”
A few minutes after Puck threw the note onto Kurt’s desk when the teacher’s back was turned, he got a reply, “So are you two going out now?”
“Fuck NO!” Puck wrote back, underlining the second word about a million times. “We were fighting and he totally sprung that shit on me. Besides, I don’t date gorillas.”
Beside him, Kurt looked stuck between sending Puck a sympathetic glare and laughing at his description of Karofsky. Eventually he handed back a note that said, “He’s probably not coming out of the closet anytime soon. You don’t want to deal with a guy like that.”
Okay, maybe Puck was imagining things, but he could swear Kurt batted his eyelids when Puck looked over at him once more before the bell rang. As they left the classroom, Kurt leaned in and told Puck, “I’m just glad it wasn’t me. I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to confront him ever since I met this other gay boy, Blaine, a few days ago. I don’t even want to think about being kissed by that Neanderthal.”
“His breath smelled like ass,” Puck admitted, laughing a little until he saw Karofsky headed in their direction, murder in his eyes. Throwing his arm around Kurt, Puck whispered, “Don’t let on that I told you, okay?”
“O-okay,” Kurt nodded, looking at Puck’s hand on his shoulder like it was the greatest thing ever. Wow. Alright. Maybe giving things a shot with Kurt wouldn’t be so bad if his approval of the gesture made Puck feel this good.
As Karofsky passed them he sneered and said, “Fags!”
“Takes one to know one,” Puck called after him, grinning at Kurt when he turned back around. “I think he might try to kill me one of these days.”
“I won’t let him,” Kurt insisted, putting his hand over Puck’s on his shoulder and lacing their fingers together. “Is this okay?”
Heart beating in overtime and body singing, Puck nodded, stopping at Kurt’s locker and whispering in his ear, “More than okay, babe.”
**88**
"Dude," Finn said when he caught Puck in the hall after class, "are you dating Kurt?"
"Guess so," Puck shrugged. "Why? You got a problem with that?"
"No," Finn insisted. "No. I was just, I mean what happens when...?" Finn pointed to Puck's crotch and raised an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure he won't expect that."
"No shit," Puck sighed. "But can't I just date someone I want to date for awhile at least? I mean, it's not like he's gonna want to do it right away. We haven't even kissed yet."
"You gotta tell him eventually," Finn insisted. "Kurt's a cool guy and he's gay so he'll get that you're different. I'll help him, you know, when our parents get married and we move in together again. We both know you're as much a guy as I am, right bro?"
"Yeah," Puck smiled, clapping his friend on the shoulder. "Yeah, thanks, Finn."
**88**
The first time Puck kissed Kurt after taking him to the movies and buying him popcorn and crap, Puck knew he was right about being gay, not that he’d ever been that confused, really. When his lips stuck to Kurt’s as they pulled apart and sent a dark shiver down his spine, Puck couldn’t help but go in for another, deeper kiss, holding Kurt’s head close and surprising him with intensity.
That time, when he pulled away, Kurt smiled widely and breathed, “I have to tell Blaine I won the bet. He didn’t think you would kiss me tonight.”
“What?” Puck scoffed, looping his hands around Kurt’s waist and pulling him as close as he dared.
“I know,” Kurt replied, giving Puck another, small kiss. “I tried telling him you’re a badass and not afraid of a little kissing.”
Puck laughed, his heart fluttering at the indulgent smile Kurt gave him. “Gonna split your winnings with me?”
“You want half of the soundtrack to ‘Eating Raoul?’”
Smiling again and noticing Burt glaring at him through the window, Puck smiled and pressed one more, short, kiss to Kurt’s lips, telling him, “I don’t even know what that is, so why don’t you keep it.”
“Your knowledge of obscure Broadway musicals is vastly underdeveloped, Noah. We might have to change that.”
“You learn the stats for the Bengals’ starting players and I’ll think about learning more about musicals. Deal?”
“Deal,” Kurt nodded, giving Puck one last heart-stopping smile before slipping into the house.
**88**
"Mmm," Kurt murmured, his lips pressed against Puck's neck and his hands creeping southward from their place on Puck's ribs. Puck had never been more turned on in his life, soaking his boxers (despite the hormone supplements that usually made him dry) just from making out with Kurt in the back of the guy's car.
"You're so fucking hot," Puck sighed against Kurt's lips, his fingers finding their way into the boy's shirt/vest combo.
Whining, Kurt let his hand drift further down and suddenly the panic set in. Puck grabbed Kurt's wrist and dragged his boyfriend's hand up further, away from his junk. Puck tried to just keep kissing Kurt, like nothing had happened, but Kurt pulled back instead.
Putting on a semi-hurt expression, Kurt asked, "You don't want?"
"I..." Puck debated telling Kurt who he really was, but was overcome with the fear that Kurt would totally freak out on him. No, he couldn't tell. Not yet. Definitely not yet. Kurt was still looking at him for some sort of explanation, so Puck insisted, "I do want, babe. It's just...it's just despite anything you might have heard about me, I've never been past second base. That's lame, isn't it?"
"Never?" Kurt asked. "Santana claims you and she ... like, from before you knew you were gay."
"I've known I was gay for a long time," Puck insisted. "I just didn't want to be. Santana made that crap up because she wants to be head Cheerio. It never happened."
"Oh," Kurt nodded. "But you do want to go further eventually, right?"
"So fucking bad," Puck nodded, "but just not ... not tonight, okay?"
Kurt chuckled and nodded before moving closer and whispering in Puck's ear, "Someday soon? I want to be the one to tame the supposed sex shark of McKinley high."
Shivering, Puck nodded and pulled Kurt into another kiss, distracting them both.
**88**
"Fuck, dude," Puck sighed into the phone after Kurt dropped him at home post-date. "I think I gotta tell him, Finn."
"Yeah," his best friend replied. "You guys have been dating for like, two months. It's time."
"What if he freaks out and tells everyone?" Puck sat down heavily on his bed.
"He won't," Finn insisted. "Kurt won't tell. I'm not sure how he'll react exactly, but he won't tell anyone. I promise."
Clenching his teeth together, Puck snorted in disbelief. "He's gonna break up with me at least. He's gonna realize I can't...I can't, you know, fuck him the way he probably wants it. Not with my own equipment anyway."
Finn sniffed a little and said, "That's my brother, dude. I don't want to think about him having sex!"
"Well, he's not going to be," Puck insisted. "He's going to find out I used to be a chick and run screaming."
"I don't think you're giving him enough credit."
Turning over onto his stomach, Puck asked, "Why d'ya say that?"
"Because," Finn explained, "you've always told me gender is in your head, not in your pants. Kurt's totally into you. He's not going to mind."
"He's gay, Finn," Puck huffed. "Kurt probably dreams about cock as much as I do."
Finn made another displeased noise before offering, "I'll help you tell him. I've got your back, dude."
"When?" Puck asked, wondering how much longer he could get away with keeping Kurt, who obviously wanted Puck's cock, at arm's length.
"Should do it tomorrow," Finn replied and, fuck, that was much sooner than Puck was planning on.
"I don't know..."
"Dude, you gotta man up and do this. Every day you don't you're pretty much lying to my little brother."
Puck snorted, "Kurt's older than you and almost as tall as me, Finn."
"Don't change the subject or whatever," Puck's friend insisted. "Come over tomorrow morning or I'll drag you over here, alright?"
Holding his breath for a moment, Puck tried to think of any way of getting out of this short of breaking up with Kurt. He really didn't want to break up with Kurt. The guy was awesome and was a great kisser and understood Puck better than anyone besides Finn had before. Telling him the truth was the only way to keep him. "Okay," Puck replied as he let of a long, whooshing breath. "Okay, dude."
"Good," Finn replied. "'Night, Puck."
Chapter 3