"Let me venture to introduce myself: I am a vagabond variable, viz., a vermifuge against veiled villainy, a vivisection of vermin, a valediction to varletry, a ventilation of venom, a veritable Via Dolorosa of vexation, a vanguard of virtue and a vaunted valentine to vengeance: with verve I vanquish and then vanish like vapor. With the vantage of
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