Monogamy is not possible, though I would like to believe in it, accurately it never has been or ever will. How absolute can I be in my thoughts? Tomorrow is my Philosophy exam. Just as I would like to believe in the validity of romantic love it is diluted by gazes of idealized infatuation. I am sounding more like a heartless crab than ever. In this ( Read more... )

Erwic.


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It is the first day of my new medications. My head feels a number of pressures and reliefs at the same time, mostly just hidden nervousness. At the doctor, they hand you all these phone numbers to call but by doing so make you even more uneasy. The option of actually being at the point where I would have to call them is suggested. I have been to ( Read more... )

i have to get these thoughts out of my head so i can write an effective paper.

i sat down with the chromatic last night, jared's typewriter and pretended that i was worming the words out of my fingers. i wrote some drunken odes... always drunken confused existential retardation. that is the beginning of march.

there is a severe cramp in my abdomen. i am going home to watch the crane bird hang from my ceiling that nestles wind chimes below his feet on a rod. i will go home to him as jonathan narrates him as a boy, will make high pitched voices of how a crane bird would talk but it won't be near as realistic as previous encounters with animated inatimate ( Read more... )

what am i doing? i have a paper due tomorrow. fuck.

Bad actions and unintentional errors are far more common among humans than good ones, from childhood onwards. -Socrates

i need to stop being high listening to the warlocks and write my paper but in protest it is so good and i can't help but get distracted. i am moving into the tryon house tomorrow. there will be a big loft armoire moved in and a christian montenegro mural on the wall done by jonathan and i. these are not even the best ones:

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i want to start a new life. one where i am not presently in reality. one where i am outside it ( Read more... )

jonathan fell asleep in my lap and we have been looking for houses all day. i have decided that i have to move on however painful that thought and action is. where is julie? i want to be sitting outside the laurel market drinking no-starbucks coffee with her and talking about falling in love with my professors. the last two nights i have been ( Read more... )