the bad news is that i have some new ailment. hemosomething ursomething syndrome. basically it just means that if i take an aspirin my kidneys will start to tear my blood vessels apart. it sounds scary, but it's pretty easy to just take a tylenol instead of an aleeve if i'm hungover ( Read more... )

i don't like to complain. i don't like to give the impression i'm looking for sympathy. but this chemo shit has got to end. i don't think i've ever known fatigue like this in my life. i mean, even on my week off i still walk around feeling like there are weights tied to my arms and legs. and doctors are the most useless people on earth. what advice ( Read more... )

my brother came to visit! he didn't tell anyone he was coming, he just showed up. and considering i hadn't seen him in about 4 years, that's a pretty huge deal for me. naturally the first thing we did was go out to a bar. which led to another bar. after that it's a bit fuzzy, but we got kicked out of tattooed mom's because he peed on a car right ( Read more... )

i guess i haven't updated in a while. but in my defense, last week i got a fortune cookie that told me i should keep my affairs private. who am i to tempt fate ( Read more... )

pretty much all i've been doing for the last few weeks is getting stoned, getting drunk, and playing video games. not only are my higher brain functions slowly going down the toilet, but i'm just sort of bored with it. how did this sustain me through college? i've been saying it for a long time, but i think i just need some sort of drastic change ( Read more... )

i can't tell you what a joy it is to just have morphine laying about the house. morphine i'm allowed to have! for instance right now, i'm not tired but it's late enough already that there's nothing to do. so i'm going to go upstairs in a few minutes, take some morphine, and play some video games. and while i realize that this might sound dull to a ( Read more... )

tomorrow i start chemo again. goodbye beard, i hardly knew ye ( Read more... )

back from bonnaroo. it was... great ( Read more... )

i need to start sleeping. i need to start eating something besides ramen and the occaisonal bag of chips. i need to stop smoking. i need to stop watching trainspotting late at night. i need to make an effort to see the sun now and again. i need to stop ignoring my problems. i need to find a girl my own age. i need to stop drinking just to pass the ( Read more... )

yesterday i went back to my old summercamp for an alumni reunion/fundraiser barbeque thing. it was intense. it was over at 5, but i ended up staying until about 2am hanging out with old friends and actually making some new ones. fishing, ultimate frisbee (with a light up frisbee that changes colors, you'd love it matt), and most of the people were ( Read more... )