Discussion

[problematika]

P is 14 months old today, adjusted age 11. If I'm off fieldworking even for an hour, I miss him as if I were a walking cliche. Tonight over stuffed squid, we continued our discussion of bio or no biokid in a rather large and heavy installment. Of course, virutally no discussion is too heavy for our brand of humor

Comments

[lunar_rainbow]

My own opinion, and I know Luludi's too...adoption is a very honorable thing. In the town where I'm staying there are a lot of adults who have decided not to have their own children and they are very happy and live successful lives. Some do adopt, some stay childless.

It's the "tuneless 4th- and 5th-grade singing" thing that gets me.

[problematika]

Gets to you, as in, you think it's cruel of me? :-) Or what?

[lunar_rainbow]

I get annoyed when people sing out of tune. Usually I just laugh it off. It's not cruel unless you are forcing people to listen to it. TORTURE! ;-)

Solfeggio is the first language I ever learned. We had to learn it by accurate pitch.

Here you go:

[lunar_rainbow]

This is what I mean :-)

[shaiasaviya]

My sister was sterilised at the age of 27 but had quite a lot of problems afterwards which is what deterred me from doing it. I'd never had any maternal instincts as far as getting pregnant goes although I loved the kids I was around. Adoption was one thing that had crossed my mind but that was more to do with the idea that there were too many kids around who had nothing and no-one - why would I want to 'build my own'?

I didn't realise I was pregnant until I was 15 weeks and 5 days gone I put all the symptoms down to the stress of the work at university. Of course I love my daughter but not because she's genetically a piece of me - but because she's a wonderful kid.

Society does judge women who don't want to reproduce as being slightly 'odd' but I guess this will change with time.

[problematika]

Yeah, I was thinking more that Ignac would get a vascectomy...but not yet... just in case :-) Anyway, thanks for your note, I feel less odd already.

[khrysha]

Vasectomy isn't that bad, and it's easier to reverse if you REALLY REALLY decide that's what you want to do... And it doesn't really hurt at all. A place I worked at did them in 1 hour in a clinic, the patients walked out with little more than a dull ache, and happy as larry! :D

[problematika]

Yeah, I was wondering if it's reversible. If it is, without too much trouble, then we might do it sooner. (You really come across freaky questions at times like these, such as, "if I die, and you remarry a woman who wants bio children, then what?")

[khrysha]

Strangely enough, I find it really hard to explain my 'lack of' desire to have a child. I'd prefer to adopt too, but maybe I mentioned that previously. Not sure why. Just feel that way. One reason is the many children who need good homes. I really feel that's more important, to give a child a good home, rather than to necessarily produce one from my own body. I'm not sure I'm making complete sense, but that's about it.

It's an interesting decision to make, I guess because all our lives we're 'trained' to feel that our own flesh and blood is more important than others...

Looks like the training didn't work on at least a few people.

BTW: I can have a child, I'm not infertile, that I know of anyway, but I don't want to.

Bring on the orphans I say!!! :)

*love*

[khrysha]

Did I make it clear that I adore children and would like to have 'one of my own' as they say... just not necessarily give birth to it? :)

[problematika]

You're right, you HAVE said that before :-) I'm glad you reminded me. Bring on the orphans! (I haven't made up my mind completely yet...for one thing, there's tons of family pressure that I don't know if I can withstand - at the same time, I'm thinking - righbtly - that family pressure is no good reason to get pregnant.)

[khrysha]

fuck family, if they actually cared about you wholly and unreservedly, they would support you in whatever decision you made. I say, go with your heart and intuition. If what you both want is to adopt, then do it.

*mwah*

[shaiasaviya]

I guess that if you did get pregnant, it wouldn't be the end of the world. Families nowadays are generally a lot smaller than they used to be but my daughter has 11 uncles and 7 aunts aged between 14 and 44 due to both sets of her grandparents having fostered, adopted and given birth to loads of kids between them. You'll always have room for 'just one more' :)

Her granny always says that the concept of 'family' should have walls made of elastic lol

[khrysha]

Her granny always says that the concept of 'family' should have walls made of elastic

I really like that idea. :)

[bobbysan]

Hi. you probably don't remember me at all but you posted on my journal while I was running from a post-katrina NOLA. It took me a while to be able to re-read the journal from that time. When I did, i decided to take names and say thank you to those who wished me well.

[problematika]

Wow - I wished I could be that up on my neglected thank yous! And I do hope you are as well as circumstances have allowed...