your needle and your damage done...
I lied; I said I was gonna finish 'who the fuck..." first but I am in a rotten frame of mind at the moment and this one came a little easier. It is a sequel to the VAM drabble I did a few days ago. It is short, but it sets the scene.
Part One: White Noise
I had packed my suitcase and was halfway down the stairs before I realised that Missy was speaking to me. I couldn't hear anything properly over the buzzing in my head. It was like my mind consisted of nothing but white noise.
"What?!" I barked out, louder and harsher than entirely necessary. She looked taken aback, and more than a little upset.
"Bam I just wanna know what's going on and where you're rushing off to at," she checked the clock, "3:30am!"
"It's Ville," was all I said. I watched her face go from concerned to angry in the blink of an eye.
"Of course it is. I really shouldn't have to ask anymore, should I?" She replied scathingly. I could tell she wanted to argue about it, but I just didn't have time. My flight was leaving in an hour. For that reason I didn't reply. I just continued my way down the stairs, hoping that the taxi would be there already.
"When I said my vows to you Bam, I had no idea that this marriage was going to be a permanent threesome!" She was following me down the stairs just to continue yelling at me and I sighed in annoyance.
"I'm not sleeping with him if that's what you're worried about," I said flatly.
"You might as well be. I know you think of him when we have sex. You always have. Do you really think I'm that ignorant? I was just hoping you'd grow out of it when you realised he wasn't interested," she was standing on the bottom stair trying to use the extra height to seem intimidating. I laughed harshly in her face.
"You think he's not interested? The only reason we've never been together is because of the public image!" I threw it in her face even though I knew it would probably be the end of my marriage.
"I thought that you at least cared about me Bam. I don't know why I've stuck around for this long. You obviously care for him more than you do for me," she said it quietly and her chin was quivering. She was strong woman though, and didn't want me to see her cry.
"Yeah but what are you gonna do?" I felt like an asshole for treating her this way. She'd never done anything wrong, I was just stupid for believing this charade could last.
"I'm gonna leave, that's what I'm gonna do! When you get back I'm not gonna be here Bam, think about that while you're with him!" She said it like she expected it to hurt me, but she just didn't realise the extent of my feelings for Ville.
"Fine Missy, do whatever you think you need to. I have to go, my taxi's here," I left before I could see her cry, because I still felt like a total asshole. Once on the plane, however, all I could think of was Ville. I'd never been remotely interested in anything religious in my life, but at the moment, I prayed. I prayed all the way to Finland that Ville would still be alive when I got there.
Part One: White Noise
I had packed my suitcase and was halfway down the stairs before I realised that Missy was speaking to me. I couldn't hear anything properly over the buzzing in my head. It was like my mind consisted of nothing but white noise.
"What?!" I barked out, louder and harsher than entirely necessary. She looked taken aback, and more than a little upset.
"Bam I just wanna know what's going on and where you're rushing off to at," she checked the clock, "3:30am!"
"It's Ville," was all I said. I watched her face go from concerned to angry in the blink of an eye.
"Of course it is. I really shouldn't have to ask anymore, should I?" She replied scathingly. I could tell she wanted to argue about it, but I just didn't have time. My flight was leaving in an hour. For that reason I didn't reply. I just continued my way down the stairs, hoping that the taxi would be there already.
"When I said my vows to you Bam, I had no idea that this marriage was going to be a permanent threesome!" She was following me down the stairs just to continue yelling at me and I sighed in annoyance.
"I'm not sleeping with him if that's what you're worried about," I said flatly.
"You might as well be. I know you think of him when we have sex. You always have. Do you really think I'm that ignorant? I was just hoping you'd grow out of it when you realised he wasn't interested," she was standing on the bottom stair trying to use the extra height to seem intimidating. I laughed harshly in her face.
"You think he's not interested? The only reason we've never been together is because of the public image!" I threw it in her face even though I knew it would probably be the end of my marriage.
"I thought that you at least cared about me Bam. I don't know why I've stuck around for this long. You obviously care for him more than you do for me," she said it quietly and her chin was quivering. She was strong woman though, and didn't want me to see her cry.
"Yeah but what are you gonna do?" I felt like an asshole for treating her this way. She'd never done anything wrong, I was just stupid for believing this charade could last.
"I'm gonna leave, that's what I'm gonna do! When you get back I'm not gonna be here Bam, think about that while you're with him!" She said it like she expected it to hurt me, but she just didn't realise the extent of my feelings for Ville.
"Fine Missy, do whatever you think you need to. I have to go, my taxi's here," I left before I could see her cry, because I still felt like a total asshole. Once on the plane, however, all I could think of was Ville. I'd never been remotely interested in anything religious in my life, but at the moment, I prayed. I prayed all the way to Finland that Ville would still be alive when I got there.