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[cynicalsweetie5]

I wanted more than anything to become a mother to something other than my cats. I thought when I became pregnant I'd cry tears of joy. I thought when I first saw the lil blob on the ultrasound and heard its heartbeat I'd at least tear up

Comments

[seestarscollide]

It's normal. For some women it takes until the baby is born, or even later, to feel that connection and bond. Please don't beat yourself up over it! You're going to feel those movements any day now and it might help make it more "real" :)

[a1]

I felt the same way in the beginning. I didn't really feel a connection until probably the third trimester. I didn't feel movement until around 22 weeks and in the beginning I didn't even really like feeling the movement, but eventually I could tell which body part was moving and it became more real. Give it time and don't feel guilty.

[oceanview]

With my first, I felt the same way. I had absolutely no "connection" with my son at all, and definitely even distanced myself from "him" once I found out I was having a boy, because I wanted a girl so badly. I don't think what you're feeling is uncommon, at all. Once you can pick out a name, and baby is bigger, you'll get that connection, or maybe not even until he/she is born, but don't feel like a terrible person!

This is my second pregnancy, and I felt connection to this baby the second I though I was pregnant, and I feel bad that I didn't feel that at all with my first son ):

[cynicalsweetie5]

I desire a girl so I fear I'll be miserable if it turns out to be a boy

[seestarscollide]

I can definitely relate. I was heartbroken when I found out I was having a boy. But....only for a minute. I would not trade my son for ANYTHING.

When it comes down to it, a baby is a baby, a child is a child...you're going to love him/her no matter what. Trust me. It doesn't matter.

[anne_t_social]

I'd originally thought that I wanted a girl, and was convinced that I would be disappointed if I had a son. That was one of the reasons I didn't want to find out the gender - I figured that I could be disappointed after an ultrasound, but that after hours and hours of labour I would be happy to have anything as long as it was out of me :)

But then my son was born the day before my grandfather's birthday (my grampy and I had been very, very close), and I was so happy to have a boy that I could name after him. In fact, when they told me it was a boy, I cried because I was so happy.

No matter what you get, you will be thrilled and you will love it.

[fleckerbug]

Don't feel so bad. I had a lot of trouble connecting with my child, even had negative emotions-- I felt totally invaded and not in control of my body. Granted I didn't go to term, so I don't know what kind of connection being all big and full of child gives you, but the second I saw her... OMG, I couldn't comprehend how I could have ever thought that she was alien to me. She was a part of me and I loved her so much. I know not everyone has that immediate connection either, and don't stress if you don't, but that's how it was for me.

[cynicalsweetie5]

I think part of it is I gained a ton of weight really quickly all over my body and not one pound of it is a baby bump!
I had worked so hard to drop 52lbs and kept it off a year so to feel all huge and fat again is making me so depressed. Being big in a pregnant belly way doesn't phase me but having my face go round, and pudge on my butt, hips, thighs, and upper tummy is not making me a happy camper! :(

[smaych]

I was the same - I'd been wanting a baby for so many years and it was a real shock to me when I didn't feel that bond and that happiness in the early months. I would always say "how?" as well, wonder how you could love someone you know nothing about, wonder if it was all just a hormonal thing and if I would ever feel it.

But I'm 28 weeks now and definitely feeling the love :) I think it comes at different times for different people. Try not to pressure yourself into feeling one way or another (I know that's really hard!). I think dwelling on it can make it worse.

I hope you feel better soon x.