September 28, 2022

[prefers_jam]

I do not tell bedtime stories. Neither am I a pillow.

It is no fault of mine that the first years are not sufficiently intimidated by me this year.

Comments

[charmingrogue]

They asked for bedtime stories?! Awwww.

Ahem. I apologise. And will endeavour to inform them that you are terrifying, formidable and exacting. Hopefully that will help.

[prefers_jam]

They will not ask again.

It will not help if you smile at them like that while you are saying it.

[charmingrogue]

Awwww. But I USUALLY smile when talking to or about you! I'll try to do it less if it really matters to you, but it will be a hard habit to break!

[prefers_jam]

You are a wizard of many talents. Break it.

[smithami]

Maybe they realised that you're just a freak.

[prefers_jam]

Your thoughts are very interesting to someone, I am sure.

[smithami]

Oh, right. But not to some one as brilliant as sodding Starla Makenna Kirke, the random genius who is too much of a bint to even get Head Girl but still can't take a hint.

[prefers_jam]

As clearly I love little children so much, missing out on the Head Girl position was crushing, regardless of whether I had vied for it or not.

I am afraid I lack the necessary traits to converse further with you. Namely a lobotomy.

[jackedoff]

I would use you as a pillow!

[prefers_jam]

I have a sharp ribcage and I would poke.

[jackedoff]

I have a hard head and wouldn't notice!

[prefers_jam]

On that I would not beg to differ.

[buttonholed]

They are certainly more self-assured this year.

[prefers_jam]

I suppose, but they have always been obnoxious and irritating.

[buttonholed]

Indeed.