3512: A New School - Lily Luna Potter
Don't forget about Tropes Sue Week either. I'm looking for help finding entries for said week. I'm also looking for some feedback on this.
TITLE: A New School
PERPETRATOR: FairMaiden
SUE-O-METER:
(awful)
COVER/BANNER ART: None...
SUMMARY:”What if the Dark Lord had won? When Lily Luna Potter is captured by Death Eaters, her life is spared and she is allowed to attend Hogwarts, a school only meant for Pure-Bloods. There, she meets the sons and daughters of the Death Eaters. Lily Luna Potter has lost her father, but not her courage. She is determined to fight back.”
FULL NAME: Lily Luna Potter
SPECIES: She's Harry Potter's kick butt daughter, or so the summary indicates.
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: Voldemort is still alive, and Harry is dead. She and her siblings are captured, her life is spared and she is allowed to continue her education.
ORIGIN: “I had lost Dad when I was just a little girl. The Death-Eaters found us, and my Dad had agreed to surrender himself if they spread our lives.” Draco is stuck being a Death Eater.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Ignoring canon.
NOTES: On top of the fact Voldemort is GONE we have the issue of the writer not bothering to develop Lily's character, and the rush into the conflict for this particular story.
SAMPLE:
When my blind- fold is finally taken off, I am shocked by how bright the room is. I look around and to my horror I see that I am in a huge room, and I surrounded by Death Eaters. I recognize some faces.
I see the pale face of Draco Malfoy whose hand is on the shoulder of a familiar looking boy. Our eyes meet for a second, but he looks away quickly.
"Well, this is a pleasant surprise…"
I suddenly wish that I had my blind-fold back on, and my eyes dart away from the Malfoy family toward the speaker. The face that is speaking to me is so horrid that I feel like screaming out in terror. This is the man that haunted my nightmares ever since I was little.
"Greyback… you are scaring the girl…" another voice says, but I don't take my eyes off of the monster that is creeping closer to me.
I take a couple of steps back but I feel Yaxley push me forward.
"ENOUGH."
The voice is high-pitched, cold, and commanding. It's the voice of the Dark Lord. Greyback immediately steps back into the crowd.
I don't want to look up at the speaker, but I force myself to meet his eyes.
However, my eyes are not drawn to his red ones, but to the women next to him. I recognize her instantly. It's Bellatrix Lestrange. She was the one who had found us. She was the one who killed Dad. She's older then I remember and she looks worn, but the manic grin that I remember so well is still etched upon her ragged face.
Now, I jut out my chin, willing myself not to cry. I face the Dark Lord. He looks at me for a long while, and the room is silent.
Then, he speaks.
"What do you think, Bellatrix? What should we do with Lily Potter?"
A wicked grin plays at her mouth. I see her mouth moving, but I cannot hear her. The room seems to be spinning. Right before I fall, I look away from Bellatrix and see the grey eyes of the Malfoy boy. And then, everything goes black.
TITLE: A New School
PERPETRATOR: FairMaiden
SUE-O-METER:
(awful)
COVER/BANNER ART: None...
SUMMARY:”What if the Dark Lord had won? When Lily Luna Potter is captured by Death Eaters, her life is spared and she is allowed to attend Hogwarts, a school only meant for Pure-Bloods. There, she meets the sons and daughters of the Death Eaters. Lily Luna Potter has lost her father, but not her courage. She is determined to fight back.”
FULL NAME: Lily Luna Potter
SPECIES: She's Harry Potter's kick butt daughter, or so the summary indicates.
HAIR: n/a
EYES: n/a
MARKINGS: n/a
POSSESSIONS: n/a
CONNECTION TO CANON: Voldemort is still alive, and Harry is dead. She and her siblings are captured, her life is spared and she is allowed to continue her education.
ORIGIN: “I had lost Dad when I was just a little girl. The Death-Eaters found us, and my Dad had agreed to surrender himself if they spread our lives.” Draco is stuck being a Death Eater.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Ignoring canon.
NOTES: On top of the fact Voldemort is GONE we have the issue of the writer not bothering to develop Lily's character, and the rush into the conflict for this particular story.
SAMPLE:
When my blind- fold is finally taken off, I am shocked by how bright the room is. I look around and to my horror I see that I am in a huge room, and I surrounded by Death Eaters. I recognize some faces.
I see the pale face of Draco Malfoy whose hand is on the shoulder of a familiar looking boy. Our eyes meet for a second, but he looks away quickly.
"Well, this is a pleasant surprise…"
I suddenly wish that I had my blind-fold back on, and my eyes dart away from the Malfoy family toward the speaker. The face that is speaking to me is so horrid that I feel like screaming out in terror. This is the man that haunted my nightmares ever since I was little.
"Greyback… you are scaring the girl…" another voice says, but I don't take my eyes off of the monster that is creeping closer to me.
I take a couple of steps back but I feel Yaxley push me forward.
"ENOUGH."
The voice is high-pitched, cold, and commanding. It's the voice of the Dark Lord. Greyback immediately steps back into the crowd.
I don't want to look up at the speaker, but I force myself to meet his eyes.
However, my eyes are not drawn to his red ones, but to the women next to him. I recognize her instantly. It's Bellatrix Lestrange. She was the one who had found us. She was the one who killed Dad. She's older then I remember and she looks worn, but the manic grin that I remember so well is still etched upon her ragged face.
Now, I jut out my chin, willing myself not to cry. I face the Dark Lord. He looks at me for a long while, and the room is silent.
Then, he speaks.
"What do you think, Bellatrix? What should we do with Lily Potter?"
A wicked grin plays at her mouth. I see her mouth moving, but I cannot hear her. The room seems to be spinning. Right before I fall, I look away from Bellatrix and see the grey eyes of the Malfoy boy. And then, everything goes black.