(Untitled)

[pottersues]

Here is the last day of Vampire Week. And yes... I do realize that ZenoNoKyuubi has some other interesting Harry Potter fanfics. I'll hold off until I post another one though.

TITLE: The clever Vampiricelf (What?)
PERPETRATOR: Platinum Puppeteer- The Shadow
SUE-O-METER:

Comments

[indigoneutrino]

O.o If there was a rating higher than toxic, this deserves it. It's so brain meltingly bad I'd class it as lethal.

[paperdreams1]

It's like the Holy Grail of toxic Vamp!Harry fics! Pottersues you do spoil us.

This fic actually amuses me rather than make me want to claw my eyes out. However, since the rest of the fic gets really weird - not a fan of mpreg and Harry casually letting friends die/torturing people - i think i'd be less amused if i read the whole thing.

Since it's not stated in the sample, im going to assume that the elf part in Harry's parentage comes from a House Elf (which is hilarious!) and the reason he's the first vampire-elf spawn in 900 years is because no elf or vampire have ever been that drunk!
Also i think he would be shorter, not taller. The hair colours remind me of candy canes, which just makes me think of Christmas elves hooking up with creatures of the night, which is just plain odd.

" he decided to re-valuate his surroundings again but this time he used his tongue" Why would you do that???!!!!

" his tongue came in contact with metal........Harry now knew that the box was metal" Thanks Suethor, i'd forgotten that in the time it

[paperdreams1]

"Since it's not stated in the sample, im going to assume that the elf part in Harry's parentage comes from a House Elf (which is hilarious!) and the reason he's the first vampire-elf spawn in 900 years is because no elf or vampire have ever been that drunk! "

I can't stop laughing, now. You just made my night. :D

[paperdreams1]

Having looked on her profile I've discovered that she's 'adopted' this story from another writer on the site, and basically just copied, word for word, large portions of the original story and added in chunks of crazy (like the tongue-thing, the elf cross etc.). The original author seems to know and has commented in the reviews, so it seems she might have given her permission, but i still think it probably breaks the site rules for plagiarism.

She's also another one that gets stroppy about people not reviewing, i think this has lead to her 'being on hiatus' until she gets some more.

[yemi_hikari]

Since the writer gave permission for the adoption it isn't plagiarism, but it does break site rules none the less.

[paperdreams1]

ah i see, i think it's also just bad form.

[yemi_hikari]

I was always under the impression, when you adopt a story you do a complete rewrite and make it your own. So yes... it is in bad form. If I ever choose to adopt a story out I'll emphasize the fact they have to do a complete rewrite.

[beacon80]

Ugh, first of all, if you're going to come up with a name for your vampiric elf, come up with an actual name. Eliminating the space isn't good enough.

As for his guardians... does he really need four of them? That aside, Black and Lupin make sense. I could accept Snape if the author attempted to explain it (an attempted olive branch from Lily, for instance). But Lucius? Lucius represents everything wrong with the wizarding aristocracy... Oh, right, this is a Harry Stu, so being wealthy means your awesome and all little things like oppression and blinding prejudice don't matter

[indigoneutrino]

I just love how completely uncreative the word "vampiricelf" is. It shows that the suethor literally couldn't be bothered to think about it for more than two seconds, and just imagine if other hybrid type creatures were named that way. Instead of centaurs and griffins we'd have horsehumans and lioneagles. Not to mention that grammar rules mean that if you get rid of the space and have an "e" immediately after a "c", it should be pronounced "vampiriself", which makes it sound even more stupid.

The will reading uses the phrase "so mote it be", which is kind of like ending a statement with "Amen".

I didn't even notice that. I'm laughing even harder now.

[beacon80]

it should be pronounced "vampiriself", which makes it sound even more stupid.
That sounds like the name of a medicine.

Have you found yourself craving blood?
Do you shrink away from the light of the dreaded daystar?
Have you recently started feeling disdain for humanity, as if they are only cattle beneath your righteous rule?
Then ask your Healer if vampiricelf is right for you.

Warning: Possible side effects include nasea, vomitting, depression, mood eyes, and in a very small selection, lycanthropy and mummy rot.

[yemi_hikari]

The Suethor says this on her profile.

Hey everyone i know you notice that they are only gay couples here and my reason is weird, i am a girl and acually writing a girl/boy pairing just makes me shudder cause i will be giving graphic details about the female anatomy and letting a boy touch places and i don't like that so please understand my reasoning...

I think what you're supposed to do is...

a.) Not write M rated fanfics where guys are in sexual relationships with females
b.) Not write romantic relationships at all
c.) Remember that you aren't the canon characters
d.) All of the above

It is unique compared to what we usually get, writing slash pairings because one is in that revel age though. But it does come down to the fact here is yet another young writer who doesn't understand what she is writing.

[vervainwolf]

I have never heard a face being defined as having "curves in all the right places" before...

[paperdreams1]

That was one of my favourite parts!