(Untitled)

[pottersues]

Since a few people were hoping for a femslash fic when they read yesterday's fanfic...

TITLE: When I Lay Beside You
PERPETRATOR: Kairi Winters
SUE-O-METER:

Comments

[wild_jokers]

Um, am I the only one a little freaked out by the instant girl crush at 11? Granted, I developed my first crush at thirteen, but I still think it's young...

WSS,
Jokers

[wild_jokers]

WHAT WITCHCRAFT IS THIS!?!? First comment and only my second post?!!? W00t!! xD

WSS,
Jokers

[jhestia85]

I had my first crush when I was five. It was a Bollywood actor, and on my birthday, I got a huge poster of him LOL.

Uhm, while I'm open to idea of developing crushes when one is young (and I wrote a fic where an eleven year old Scorpius has a one-sided eleven year old crush on an eighteen year old Victoire O.o), the level of intimacy and sexual attraction shown in this fic does seem far-fetched.

[omar_love]

omg which actor? I'm gonna guess Hrithik but that depends on what age you are now, lol.

[jhestia85]

Her deep, amber eyes seem to be almost glowing in the light.

And that is where I started giggling.

This sounds incredulous for two twelve-year-old girls, though.

[yemi_hikari]

I looked at the fic and the really purple prose occurs their fifth year. However, she was already thinking in purple terms about her friend at eleven... and twelve... and so on and so forth. Most of the time a person looks back on their crushes they remember them in the same terms that they did before.

[omar_love]

oh wow. I'm pretty sure no one - especially an 11 year old - thinks in such 'poetic' terms. At that age it would be more like
'wow she's pretty, I wonder if she will be my friend?' then, after bonding over ponies or a shared love of teen magazines, a few years later
(after getting to know her) Susan could start waxing poetic about how she's always loved her!

whenever suethors write the romance in the characters first year it just squicks me so bad...

[yemi_hikari]

I read the fic. It is actually written over the course of a few years. Doesn't change the fact Susan started waxing the purple prose when she was eleven years of age and it simply got more dramatic.

[manygrayshades]

Exactly. What sort of eleven-year-old notices her friends eyes 'almost glowing in the light?' She's a kid, she's not going to think in such a 'poetic' way like that. Having a crush at that age is perfectly normal, but the feelings and emotions depicted in the story would not be anywhere near so complicated in real life. It would be more like the scenario you've described above. At least, that was the way it was for me with my first girl crush (which I experienced at around eleven as well).

Dear God, somebody tell me what the author of this story was smoking so I can avoid the hell out of it.

[anonymous]

Oh Pottersues, you treat us so well!

I have to agree with the other comments and say that although at eleven/twelve you develop crushes, i really don't think your thoughts are so overtly sexual! I thought i was reading some kind of lesbian erotic fiction, not a story about eleven year old girls.

[ztubyrral]

I'm more disturbed over them french kissing and making out passionately. D:

[themusicmaze]

Yeah, agreed. When I was eleven, I still thought the boys my age were stupid and gross. :/ And I probably would not have dated my best friend, just because of the peer pressure at that age.