Comments | pottersues: 0017: Story for Alli

pottersues

0017: Story for Alli - Alli

Apr 21, 2003 21:44

Today's isn't as interesting as the last few - just spectacularly bad.

TITLE: Story for Alli
PERPETRATOR: Eurika-lee

SUE-O-METER: (how bad is it?)

WRITING:

( Read more... )

y - hogwarts years (non-specific), ph - gryffindor house, nts - no last name, sw-o - tootsitramp, ship - harry potter/oc, pc - self insert (sue is me), ap - athletic pursuit, rating - bad, rom - harry potter, ss/rpf - general, pt - orphan, rom - oc (rpf), b - unknown eye color, nts - name is in the title (oc), b - unknown hair color

Comments 13

Punctuation is good. Punctuation is our friend. anonymous April 22 2003, 03:55:08 UTC

This author's comma and fullstop button cannot function. I know some authors who put way too many peroids in one sentance. They can probably lend this poor punctuation-lacking girl a few.
I can see why she failed her Geometry exam.

"I was just wondering if this seat was taken" the girl asked.
"No have a seat"
"Thanks my name is Alli"
"Im Harry?"

Yes, you're Harry? And I'm wondering why you're ending that sentance with a question mark? Unless, of course, you know you're under the Imperius curse and being subjected to this humiliating role in a Mary-Sue fic??

"I know" Alli could of killed her self with that remark.

Please do.

Re: Punctuation is good. Punctuation is our friend. anonymous April 22 2003, 05:28:43 UTC

I so totally agree! I've seen sentences that have more commas than they do words, and that was in English fic. I thought we were a nation of geeks!? Besides, do they realise that there are two words that sound like YOUR but don't mean the same thing!? ~loads shotgun~ Aagh! I see Mary-Sues. They're everywhere! Help me, Eru!! (I am a serious LotR fan.) ~goes on mad MS killing spree~ Thankyou. Y'all write back now! (jesting) Yours
BulldogFace

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Re: Punctuation is good. Punctuation is our friend. anonymous April 22 2003, 12:21:46 UTC

Yeah! When can I have them? (this re the invite codes)~whack~ Thankyou. Yours
BulldogFace

Thread 5

Oh, my innocent British eyes! from BulldogFace. anonymous April 22 2003, 05:22:59 UTC

Can't HTML. Oh, my eyes. I wanted to cry after reading that. You might have read some of my reviews on ff.net. I pride myself on being the scourge of Mary-Sue the whole world over, but this is a phenomenon even I have not met before. That is one truly mangled story. How could God let this happen? I never thought Mary-Sue writers had the self-control to write a story without themselves in it. I hope I never have to witness anything as horrible as this, ever again. Yours
BulldogFace

whitetower April 22 2003, 07:06:08 UTC

Bah! *spit* Unclean!

I've said it before, but this stinks. anonymous April 22 2003, 12:19:41 UTC

Hello? Mary Sue? This is a new breed. See previous comment.

(The comment has been removed)

aruru April 23 2003, 14:01:04 UTC

Or maybe she meant that Snape was sniped.

But man, that whole sentence deserves to be in someone's .sig file. That's just CLASSIC.