1051: Hermione and Cedric - Hermione Granger
For the record, I adored yesterday's fic. I've always wanted to write a bodice ripper, full of angst and suffering. If I do, I'll show it to you, dear minions.
TITLE: Hermione and Cedric
PERPETRATOR: This is awesome (No. No, it's not.)
SUE-O-METER:
(awful)
FULL NAME: Hermione Granger
SPECIES: Hoo-man.
HAIR: "short wavy hair."
EYES: Not described.
MARKINGS: I have to post her full description here: "Hermione was short, skinny, and had short wavy hair and was very beautiful and rich." Who is this? This is not Hermione! And later: "[Hermione] was really pretty with her wet hair and was very tall, and slimming in her bathing suit." Hurr?
POSSESSIONS: A totally smokin' body.
ORIGIN: Sueapalooza.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She's the girlfriend of someone named Cedric, but I don't see any canon characters here.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: None so far.
NOTES: This is one hell of a jarring fic. There are no transitions and it just cuts off at the end of the first chapter midsentence.
These girls happened to be sisters. They seemed to get along together.
What, as if by luck? "Imagine the chances! We were shoved out of the same vagina!"
SAMPLE:It was a sunny and beautiful day in Grimmauld Place, the sun was shining and everybody was outside doing so much stuff. Except for 17 year old Cedric Diggory was still asleep in his bedroom. Cedric was a handsome, young boy, who was very kind to everyone and had lot’s good friends, and most girls had a crush on him. Cedric had dirty blond hair and was tall, and skinny, and had blue eyes. Just then the phone rang. Cedric slowly woke up and answered the phone. “Cedric where are you, you told us you were going to meet us at number 12 Grimmauld Place, please hurry, I hope you are ok,” said 16 year old Hermione Granger on the other line. Hermione was short, skinny, and had short wavy hair and was very beautiful and rich. Cedric’s house was dumpy and messy, he lived in a tiny apartment, he had everything he needed except the house was cramped and there was stuff everywhere. Back to Hermione. She was very kind to people and she was Cedric’s new girlfriend. “I’m sorry, I was still asleep, I will be right there, and I just have to get dressed.” Cedric said in a tired voice.
“Ok, see you then,” said Hermione. Cedric slowly got ready to go meet his friends at number 12. Cedric came downstairs and quickly took a chocolate bar and left to meet his friends.
Meanwhile, Narcissa and Bellatrix were at Narcissa’s house waiting for her husband to show up. Narcissa happened to be Draco Malfoy’s mother. Draco was a snobby boy, who came from a rich family. He was Hermione’s and Cedric’s arch enemy. He also hated Hermione’s other friends, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. Harry Potter was short, skinny and had curly hair and glasses; he also had a scar that the Dark Lord gave him since he was a baby. Draco hated him because of that. Ron Weasley was tall and had red hair and was very good looking, and he was very kind. Draco hated Ron because he likes muggles. (Non magic people.). Just then Narcissa’s husband, Lucius Malfoy came storming in the house. He wasn’t very happy when he walked in. “Lucius, you are here thank goodness, we need to ask you about something,” said Narcissa. Lucius was so angry, that he had no time to talk to Narcissa and Bellatrix. He was to busy thinking of a way to kill Harry Potter. He was mad because Harry Potter was still alive. “What, do you want, Narcissa,” Lucius sneered. “I just want to tell, you there is this boy named Cedric Diggory, and Voldemort want Bella to kill Cedric,” said Narcissa.
“What does he want from Cedric,” Bellatrix butted in. Bella and Narcissa were both yelling. Narcissa and Bellatrix were too loud, that Draco couldn’t concentrate on his studying in his room. Draco couldn’t take it anymore, Draco was so angry that he decided to go to number 12 Grimmauld Place to study. “Draco where are you going?” asked Draco’s father.
“Just going to Grimmauld Place to study, unless to girls want to stop yelling,” Draco yelled as he asleep.
Cedric, Harry, Hermione and Ron were at 12 Grimmauld Place, having a great time, outside at 12 Grimmauld Place, and swimming at Grimmauld Pool. 12 grimmauld Place was there favorite hide out. They were laughing and having a great time.
Once Draco headed to grimmauld Place, he saw Hermione at the pool; she was really pretty with her wet hair and was very tall, and slimming in her bathing suit. Draco watched her dive in gracefully. Draco looked at her; he couldn’t stop looking at her. He smiled, but then Cedric swung Hermione around in the pool. That’s it Diggory is going down,” Draco thought. Draco headed to the pool, as Draco walked to the fence of the pool, Cedric walked up to him. “What do you want?” Cedric sneered. “Um, I was wondering if could swim here?” said Draco. “I am sorry, but this pool was reserved for us only, thank you don’t come again,” Cedric laughed. Hermione walked behind Cedric, she let out a little giggle. “Hello this pool is for everybody, could you just let me swim,” Draco yelled. “I thought you were to busy thinking of more mean things to say to my girlfriend.” Cedric sneered. “No I am here to swim!” Draco mimicked.
TITLE: Hermione and Cedric
PERPETRATOR: This is awesome (No. No, it's not.)
SUE-O-METER:
(awful)
FULL NAME: Hermione Granger
SPECIES: Hoo-man.
HAIR: "short wavy hair."
EYES: Not described.
MARKINGS: I have to post her full description here: "Hermione was short, skinny, and had short wavy hair and was very beautiful and rich." Who is this? This is not Hermione! And later: "[Hermione] was really pretty with her wet hair and was very tall, and slimming in her bathing suit." Hurr?
POSSESSIONS: A totally smokin' body.
ORIGIN: Sueapalooza.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: She's the girlfriend of someone named Cedric, but I don't see any canon characters here.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: None so far.
NOTES: This is one hell of a jarring fic. There are no transitions and it just cuts off at the end of the first chapter midsentence.
These girls happened to be sisters. They seemed to get along together.
What, as if by luck? "Imagine the chances! We were shoved out of the same vagina!"
SAMPLE:It was a sunny and beautiful day in Grimmauld Place, the sun was shining and everybody was outside doing so much stuff. Except for 17 year old Cedric Diggory was still asleep in his bedroom. Cedric was a handsome, young boy, who was very kind to everyone and had lot’s good friends, and most girls had a crush on him. Cedric had dirty blond hair and was tall, and skinny, and had blue eyes. Just then the phone rang. Cedric slowly woke up and answered the phone. “Cedric where are you, you told us you were going to meet us at number 12 Grimmauld Place, please hurry, I hope you are ok,” said 16 year old Hermione Granger on the other line. Hermione was short, skinny, and had short wavy hair and was very beautiful and rich. Cedric’s house was dumpy and messy, he lived in a tiny apartment, he had everything he needed except the house was cramped and there was stuff everywhere. Back to Hermione. She was very kind to people and she was Cedric’s new girlfriend. “I’m sorry, I was still asleep, I will be right there, and I just have to get dressed.” Cedric said in a tired voice.
“Ok, see you then,” said Hermione. Cedric slowly got ready to go meet his friends at number 12. Cedric came downstairs and quickly took a chocolate bar and left to meet his friends.
Meanwhile, Narcissa and Bellatrix were at Narcissa’s house waiting for her husband to show up. Narcissa happened to be Draco Malfoy’s mother. Draco was a snobby boy, who came from a rich family. He was Hermione’s and Cedric’s arch enemy. He also hated Hermione’s other friends, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. Harry Potter was short, skinny and had curly hair and glasses; he also had a scar that the Dark Lord gave him since he was a baby. Draco hated him because of that. Ron Weasley was tall and had red hair and was very good looking, and he was very kind. Draco hated Ron because he likes muggles. (Non magic people.). Just then Narcissa’s husband, Lucius Malfoy came storming in the house. He wasn’t very happy when he walked in. “Lucius, you are here thank goodness, we need to ask you about something,” said Narcissa. Lucius was so angry, that he had no time to talk to Narcissa and Bellatrix. He was to busy thinking of a way to kill Harry Potter. He was mad because Harry Potter was still alive. “What, do you want, Narcissa,” Lucius sneered. “I just want to tell, you there is this boy named Cedric Diggory, and Voldemort want Bella to kill Cedric,” said Narcissa.
“What does he want from Cedric,” Bellatrix butted in. Bella and Narcissa were both yelling. Narcissa and Bellatrix were too loud, that Draco couldn’t concentrate on his studying in his room. Draco couldn’t take it anymore, Draco was so angry that he decided to go to number 12 Grimmauld Place to study. “Draco where are you going?” asked Draco’s father.
“Just going to Grimmauld Place to study, unless to girls want to stop yelling,” Draco yelled as he asleep.
Cedric, Harry, Hermione and Ron were at 12 Grimmauld Place, having a great time, outside at 12 Grimmauld Place, and swimming at Grimmauld Pool. 12 grimmauld Place was there favorite hide out. They were laughing and having a great time.
Once Draco headed to grimmauld Place, he saw Hermione at the pool; she was really pretty with her wet hair and was very tall, and slimming in her bathing suit. Draco watched her dive in gracefully. Draco looked at her; he couldn’t stop looking at her. He smiled, but then Cedric swung Hermione around in the pool. That’s it Diggory is going down,” Draco thought. Draco headed to the pool, as Draco walked to the fence of the pool, Cedric walked up to him. “What do you want?” Cedric sneered. “Um, I was wondering if could swim here?” said Draco. “I am sorry, but this pool was reserved for us only, thank you don’t come again,” Cedric laughed. Hermione walked behind Cedric, she let out a little giggle. “Hello this pool is for everybody, could you just let me swim,” Draco yelled. “I thought you were to busy thinking of more mean things to say to my girlfriend.” Cedric sneered. “No I am here to swim!” Draco mimicked.