5087: The Lady's Retribution:: A Chronicle of the Dark Arts - See the Entry

[pottersues]

Nothing much to say tonight.

Title: The Lady's Retribution:: A Chronicle of the Dark Arts Edit: Here is a link to the rewrite the writer worked on after finding their story here. There's only one chapter up, but I do agree with one of the minons that there has been improvements.
Perpetrator: carinaarcturus
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: None

Comments

A Letter from the Writer

[anonymous]

Hello to whosoever it may concern

Re: A Letter from the Writer

[pottersues]

Pottersues here.

First, because the writer updated their story and posted this comment within twenty-four hours and thus the update date and post date may eventually end up matching, I wish to note that the update to the story was done before the comment here.

Second, all of us here at Pottersues, myself, the previous Pottersues and the minions have been there, but the belief here is that Mary Sues are an important part of becoming a better writer for all writers. While the realization that one is writing a Mary Sue is definitely something results in the deflation of ones ego, it's also not something to be ashamed of.

Re: A Letter from the Writer

[anonymous]

Hello,

Here is the new link to my story. Hope you like it better!
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13789700/1/The-Lady-s-Retribution-A-Chronicle-of-the-Dark-Arts

Regards, Carina.

Re: A Letter from the Writer

[pottersues]

Thank you for the link. One of the minions already noticed you'd replaced the old story with the new one, but I agree with them that you've definitely made improvements from the previous version.

[yemi_hikari]

So, I only have the sample of what was written here since the writer has gone back and rewritten the story, and boy was this a doozy.

That said, even though I've only read the first chapter, I must say I was impressed and feel the writer improved, though I do caution regarding bashing Dumbledore. There's nothing wrong with writing manipulative Dumbledore, truth be told, because he is in fact manipulative in canon. They key here though is his intentions were well intended. The other thing is, the Order avoided killing, preferred not to do so unless they had to as this meant stopping to Voldemort's level, so the list doesn't make sense.

Still, it's definitely a different kind of strength than what was shown in here, but the writer's so far handled the treatment of men differently.

[darth_gojira]

"Albus had known that Peter would betray them," No, he didn't

" and he had hurt Sev and Sirius more than either of them would ever know" ...how? Dumbledore didn't frame Sirius up. Dumbledore didn't make Snape a Death Eater

And why would Lily of all people choose two evil families for her child? She didn't even choose her own sister-that was Dumbledore's idea.

I can't get past this premise.