5087: The Lady's Retribution:: A Chronicle of the Dark Arts - See the Entry
Nothing much to say tonight.
Title: The Lady's Retribution:: A Chronicle of the Dark Arts Edit: Here is a link to the rewrite the writer worked on after finding their story here. There's only one chapter up, but I do agree with one of the minons that there has been improvements.
Perpetrator: carinaarcturus
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: None
Summary: “Lily Potter signed her last Will and Testament five minutes before she died, putting a major wrench in Dumbledore's plans. The Greengrasses and the Blacks shall raise Harry now, with their pureblood politics and Slytherin mind. There were two sides to the war before: the Death Eaters, and the Order of the Phoenix. In these rapidly changing times, will Harry's be the third?”
Full Name: Lily Evans, some unnamed Goddess
Sueworts House(s): Lily Evans for having a last will and testament that defies logic is in Quanonreip. The Goddess goes into Sparklypoo for being so special she can unjustly punish people before they have done anything wrong simply because somebody has a divine vision. Actually, let's add all the female characters into this for being the "super uber girl power Sue" that the writer thinks represents strong powerful female characters when instead it nothing of the sort.
Species: GIRL POWER SUES!
Hair: n/a
Eyes: n/a
Markings: n/a
Poessessions: “Cats to whoever has Harry Potter. Properties fully to him. If he dies, then split evenly between Nymphadora Tonks, Blaise Zabini, Daphne Greengrass, and SusanBones.”
Connection to Canon: The story starts off with Lily signing her will with a blood quill because she has time to do that rather than try and think of a way to escape with Harry in her arms, but if she was thinking about her will and testament instead of, you know, keeping her son alive, I have to honestly wonder if Harry would have survived like he did. Albus is of course insulted because the writer is portraying him as unjustly manipulative like so many writers before them, but James and his parents who lovingly took Sirius in are basked for seeing Death Eaters as all evil. Well, this leads to “the baby had disappeared along with the house, and it had Lily Potter’s muggle blood smeared all over it.” (Lily’s not a Muggle Suethor.) As such, Hagrid turns up with no baby. Dumbledore also says, “I was under the impression that James Potter had left the guardianship of Harry Potter jointly under my and Sirius Black’s name,” which in turn leads to another problem - legally James’ directive still stands despite Lily’s will and testimate, or does he suddenly have no legal standing with his own son. (No more considering this one for the Toxic rating it looks like.) I also just realized that Lily hates her sister in this story for something she’s not even yet done. Andromeda Tonks then takes over the Black household in the second chapter because females are all in charge because the writer deemed it so, but they’ve the power to be unreasonable ass holes, but if women are in power I really have to wonder how the whole Voldemort thing ended up happening. I mean, he wouldn’t have been considered anywhere near as powerful as he was, but his mother would have been treated with more respect than her brother. In the same chapter Lucius goes to jail under Bellatrix’s testimony just because the writer can make it so, not because it makes logical sense, but Pettigrew does as well. Chapter three is pretty much about how Lily’s vision was wrong and Sirius isn’t in prison which throws yet another screw into the mess. Then we’ve got Tonks acting like fanfic writers usually have young children act in fanfic. That’s it. Only three chapters.
Origin: Harry is being raise by the Black family despite the fact none of them would make for suitable guardians at that point in time, but the Greengrass family is also somehow involved despite the fact there was no connection between the Greengrass family and either of Harry’s parents. The title sake, “Lady’s Retribution” is “a plea to the Goddess to protect her House and her children and punish the perpetrator, which is apparently you.” Funny how none of us have heard of this Goddess with such abilities until now. I love how trying to keep the Potters safe is now equivalent to, well, her is a quote to the sudden addendum to the will. “Albus Dumbledore is an enemy of the House of Potter. He has endangered me and mine. He will suffer the hand of retribution from our scions and our alies. Be warned of a woman and her House scorned.” Except, it’s not Lily’s house as she married into it which make this even more ludicrious, but McGonagall basically treats Dumbledore as garbage because of this will despite the fact she has far more common sense. Then again, as I think about it, this is the kind of common sense I’d expect from a very young writer, so I am definitely expecting a young writer for this one. Well, Albus now doesn’t want to protect Severus from Azkaban. Special Abilities: Let’s start off with the fact people are able to sign their wills five minutes before they die in this particular world. Actually, I’d like to know how she was able to sign it five minutes before her death when she was at first enjoying a peaceful night at home with her husband and son right before needing to run away into the back room. I mean, in addition to signing it she would have also needed to have this will written, but if it was already written there is the question of how come she’d not signed it before. Well, the answer came from the fact “she knew-half through Divination and half through muggle television-that now that Peter was on the Dark Side, Sirius was inevitably doomed.” (Divination doesn’t work that way, but watching muggle television shouldn’t have helped.” Well, if you thought that was unbelievable enough and a major logic fail on Lily’s part, let’s add Zaria Zabini to the list as executioner of the estate.
Notes: “That’s a major fail in logic there,” I thought to myself as a I read the summary, but as I thought about it more I realized just how much of a major fail in logic it was. Said writer created their profile back in September of last year, so they haven’t been at this very long. Also, yes, Dumbledore is manipulative. I’m not sure calling everyone else his pawns is an accurate description of his manipulations though, when what using another person as their personal paws looks like is what Voldemort does. It means not caring if they’re sacrificed, but I’d argue that Dumbledore does care.
Sample:
As she felt the wards creak with the Dark Lord's energies, Lily Potter scrambled to sign her last Will and Testament with her blood quill, scrawling a footnote. It was not completely wise to sign one's Will five minutes before their death, but Lily knew the implications of the Dark Lord's presence in their home.
They had been betrayed.
She knew-half through Divination and half through muggle television-that now that Peter was on the Dark Side, Sirius was inevitably doomed. That left precious few people (read: nobody) in James' Will who would and could take care of Harry in the way that Lily wished for her son.
She would raise hell before she allowed Albus to have the choice of guardianship when it came to Harry.
James was as black-and-white as his parents before him. Death Eaters were evil, Albus Dumbledore was not a Death Eater, and therefore he was good. Lily was not as naïve. Albus had known that Peter would betray them, and he had hurt Sev and Sirius more than either of them would ever know. She knew that if Harry made it through that day, he would be no more than a pawn in Albus's chess game for the greater good.
And pawns were to be sacrificed.
Title: The Lady's Retribution:: A Chronicle of the Dark Arts Edit: Here is a link to the rewrite the writer worked on after finding their story here. There's only one chapter up, but I do agree with one of the minons that there has been improvements.
Perpetrator: carinaarcturus
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: None
Summary: “Lily Potter signed her last Will and Testament five minutes before she died, putting a major wrench in Dumbledore's plans. The Greengrasses and the Blacks shall raise Harry now, with their pureblood politics and Slytherin mind. There were two sides to the war before: the Death Eaters, and the Order of the Phoenix. In these rapidly changing times, will Harry's be the third?”
Full Name: Lily Evans, some unnamed Goddess
Sueworts House(s): Lily Evans for having a last will and testament that defies logic is in Quanonreip. The Goddess goes into Sparklypoo for being so special she can unjustly punish people before they have done anything wrong simply because somebody has a divine vision. Actually, let's add all the female characters into this for being the "super uber girl power Sue" that the writer thinks represents strong powerful female characters when instead it nothing of the sort.
Species: GIRL POWER SUES!
Hair: n/a
Eyes: n/a
Markings: n/a
Poessessions: “Cats to whoever has Harry Potter. Properties fully to him. If he dies, then split evenly between Nymphadora Tonks, Blaise Zabini, Daphne Greengrass, and SusanBones.”
Connection to Canon: The story starts off with Lily signing her will with a blood quill because she has time to do that rather than try and think of a way to escape with Harry in her arms, but if she was thinking about her will and testament instead of, you know, keeping her son alive, I have to honestly wonder if Harry would have survived like he did. Albus is of course insulted because the writer is portraying him as unjustly manipulative like so many writers before them, but James and his parents who lovingly took Sirius in are basked for seeing Death Eaters as all evil. Well, this leads to “the baby had disappeared along with the house, and it had Lily Potter’s muggle blood smeared all over it.” (Lily’s not a Muggle Suethor.) As such, Hagrid turns up with no baby. Dumbledore also says, “I was under the impression that James Potter had left the guardianship of Harry Potter jointly under my and Sirius Black’s name,” which in turn leads to another problem - legally James’ directive still stands despite Lily’s will and testimate, or does he suddenly have no legal standing with his own son. (No more considering this one for the Toxic rating it looks like.) I also just realized that Lily hates her sister in this story for something she’s not even yet done. Andromeda Tonks then takes over the Black household in the second chapter because females are all in charge because the writer deemed it so, but they’ve the power to be unreasonable ass holes, but if women are in power I really have to wonder how the whole Voldemort thing ended up happening. I mean, he wouldn’t have been considered anywhere near as powerful as he was, but his mother would have been treated with more respect than her brother. In the same chapter Lucius goes to jail under Bellatrix’s testimony just because the writer can make it so, not because it makes logical sense, but Pettigrew does as well. Chapter three is pretty much about how Lily’s vision was wrong and Sirius isn’t in prison which throws yet another screw into the mess. Then we’ve got Tonks acting like fanfic writers usually have young children act in fanfic. That’s it. Only three chapters.
Origin: Harry is being raise by the Black family despite the fact none of them would make for suitable guardians at that point in time, but the Greengrass family is also somehow involved despite the fact there was no connection between the Greengrass family and either of Harry’s parents. The title sake, “Lady’s Retribution” is “a plea to the Goddess to protect her House and her children and punish the perpetrator, which is apparently you.” Funny how none of us have heard of this Goddess with such abilities until now. I love how trying to keep the Potters safe is now equivalent to, well, her is a quote to the sudden addendum to the will. “Albus Dumbledore is an enemy of the House of Potter. He has endangered me and mine. He will suffer the hand of retribution from our scions and our alies. Be warned of a woman and her House scorned.” Except, it’s not Lily’s house as she married into it which make this even more ludicrious, but McGonagall basically treats Dumbledore as garbage because of this will despite the fact she has far more common sense. Then again, as I think about it, this is the kind of common sense I’d expect from a very young writer, so I am definitely expecting a young writer for this one. Well, Albus now doesn’t want to protect Severus from Azkaban. Special Abilities: Let’s start off with the fact people are able to sign their wills five minutes before they die in this particular world. Actually, I’d like to know how she was able to sign it five minutes before her death when she was at first enjoying a peaceful night at home with her husband and son right before needing to run away into the back room. I mean, in addition to signing it she would have also needed to have this will written, but if it was already written there is the question of how come she’d not signed it before. Well, the answer came from the fact “she knew-half through Divination and half through muggle television-that now that Peter was on the Dark Side, Sirius was inevitably doomed.” (Divination doesn’t work that way, but watching muggle television shouldn’t have helped.” Well, if you thought that was unbelievable enough and a major logic fail on Lily’s part, let’s add Zaria Zabini to the list as executioner of the estate.
Notes: “That’s a major fail in logic there,” I thought to myself as a I read the summary, but as I thought about it more I realized just how much of a major fail in logic it was. Said writer created their profile back in September of last year, so they haven’t been at this very long. Also, yes, Dumbledore is manipulative. I’m not sure calling everyone else his pawns is an accurate description of his manipulations though, when what using another person as their personal paws looks like is what Voldemort does. It means not caring if they’re sacrificed, but I’d argue that Dumbledore does care.
Sample:
As she felt the wards creak with the Dark Lord's energies, Lily Potter scrambled to sign her last Will and Testament with her blood quill, scrawling a footnote. It was not completely wise to sign one's Will five minutes before their death, but Lily knew the implications of the Dark Lord's presence in their home.
They had been betrayed.
She knew-half through Divination and half through muggle television-that now that Peter was on the Dark Side, Sirius was inevitably doomed. That left precious few people (read: nobody) in James' Will who would and could take care of Harry in the way that Lily wished for her son.
She would raise hell before she allowed Albus to have the choice of guardianship when it came to Harry.
James was as black-and-white as his parents before him. Death Eaters were evil, Albus Dumbledore was not a Death Eater, and therefore he was good. Lily was not as naïve. Albus had known that Peter would betray them, and he had hurt Sev and Sirius more than either of them would ever know. She knew that if Harry made it through that day, he would be no more than a pawn in Albus's chess game for the greater good.
And pawns were to be sacrificed.