0367: Sunflower - Sunflower
I'd say after that, we all deserve a break. This week is Flower-Sue Week. And to make the transition nice and smooth, this first one is also a genderbender. No need to thank me.
TITLE: Sunflower
PERPETRATOR: PadfootPrankster13
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
FULL NAME: Sunflower
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: 'snake green'
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSESSIONS: none mentioned
ORIGIN: Slytherin girl who randomly turns up in the Gryffindor common room one day and convinces Lupin to kill Sirius in exchange for watermelon-flavoured gum. Is actually Snape in disguise.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: see above.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: changing gender at will. Amazing powers of seduction. Breaking the fourth wall.
NOTES: This wants to be funny. I mean, it really wants to be funny... it is desperate to be funny, wants it so bad it can taste it, is putting all its energy into striving frantically to be funny...
... and it ain't.
I should have known when the author's note talked about 'very random' that no good was going to come of this.
SAMPLE:
Harry potter, humor/general. Pg-13 (for Language)
A/n: just a little crazyness on some paper, funny, I hope. r/r oh, and yes, it is very random in the..well..most of it is very random, but I am TRYING to make a plot. Ok? Thank u!
Disclaimer: I don’t own hp. So sorry.
BY: Padfootprankster13
Chapter1: into a headlock, and out of her mind
Remus lupin was silently reading a book; “why girls get all pms’y, and how to understand it’s not funny to poke fun, for they have….how to put this?...mood-swingy ways to get back at you” was it’s absurdly long title, please don’t ask why remus was reading such a book- he’s just like that, you know?
Anywho…out of no where, Sirius black, Remus’s good friend burst out into hysteric moans of “noooooooo!’s” Remus was jolted to reality, and raised an eyebrow at his friends…odd behavior.
“ermm…Sirius, whats- whats the matter…?” Remus asked cautiously. Turning to face Sirius who was collecting himself (he fell apart on the floor- he had to get his arms back into place) and then whined out
“I don’t want everything to be future-y and chrome! It’d be all: “let’s ride our hover bikes to the hover mall!” “Sirius wailed, pounding his fists on the coffee table in front of him. Remus glanced around, very confused, he turned to James who didn’t look flabbergasted in the slightest. Remus sent an eyebrow signal- one much like using Morse code (Remus’s eyebrows even made that bright little “beep beep” sound, it was cool) to James who shrugged and said in the most calmest and collected voice:
“Don’t worry ‘bout him, moony, he’s having a really intelligent conversation with some invisible cheese googers in his head- and we just hear bit’s and pieces of it. Nothing to worry about.” James shrugged, and turned back to his homework. This made Remus feel loads better. Cheese googers; fewh! No biggie there!
It was…odd, that the common room was so quiet that bright and blissful Sunday afternoon, people often stood, transfixed on the silence, for hours on end. All crazy-uncharacteristic silence remained, even when Remus noticed something absurd. He turned around. He thought he was the only on that noticed- but there was a 4th year Slytherin girl in the Gryffindor common room. Remus stood up and approached her.
“Er..miss…uh..miss…” he stammered, he had never seen this broad before. She was kinda cute.
“call me sunflower” she said silkily. “And when I’m bad” she continued, “rip a petal off” she grabbed the confused Remus into a headlock, it was instinct for him to piss on her, and wriggle out. She cursed at him
“THIS IS A NEW SKIRT!” She hissed pointing to the wet spot Remus had made. Remus blushed.
“well, it’s your fault! Whats a Slytherin doing in the Gryffindor common room? Huh? Huh? Riddle me that, batman!” Remus yelled, and then took one of his Prozac pills on reflex. The girl-sunflower (though I doubt that’s her real name, if so, we all know she must be a child of the 70’s) sighed and pulled him into a corner of the common room, so as not to be noticed.
“I need your help” she said at once. Remus was taken aback.
“you just pulled me into a head lock” said Remus, “what should I help you for?”
“I’ve got gum” she said. Remus looked doubtful.
“yeah, like some gum is gonna make me help you” He snorted.
”its watermelon flavored.” She said.
“I’m in!” said Remus, without a second thought. Sunflower smiled a true slytherin smile. “Good” she cooed.
“So, what do I have to do?” Asked Remus whilst smacking his gum annoyingly.
“Nothing much” shrugged Sunflower “just kill Sirius Black”
a/n: o0o0o0o! a stupid cliffie. Haha. Flame me not, I will update soon- ONLY IF YOU WANT ME TO. If you REVIEW I will know whether I should post, or leave this fic undone. So, R/R, and tell me what you think. Thanks!
~kayli
TITLE: Sunflower
PERPETRATOR: PadfootPrankster13
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
FULL NAME: Sunflower
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: not described
EYES: 'snake green'
MARKINGS: none mentioned
POSESSIONS: none mentioned
ORIGIN: Slytherin girl who randomly turns up in the Gryffindor common room one day and convinces Lupin to kill Sirius in exchange for watermelon-flavoured gum. Is actually Snape in disguise.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: see above.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: changing gender at will. Amazing powers of seduction. Breaking the fourth wall.
NOTES: This wants to be funny. I mean, it really wants to be funny... it is desperate to be funny, wants it so bad it can taste it, is putting all its energy into striving frantically to be funny...
... and it ain't.
I should have known when the author's note talked about 'very random' that no good was going to come of this.
SAMPLE:
Harry potter, humor/general. Pg-13 (for Language)
A/n: just a little crazyness on some paper, funny, I hope. r/r oh, and yes, it is very random in the..well..most of it is very random, but I am TRYING to make a plot. Ok? Thank u!
Disclaimer: I don’t own hp. So sorry.
BY: Padfootprankster13
Chapter1: into a headlock, and out of her mind
Remus lupin was silently reading a book; “why girls get all pms’y, and how to understand it’s not funny to poke fun, for they have….how to put this?...mood-swingy ways to get back at you” was it’s absurdly long title, please don’t ask why remus was reading such a book- he’s just like that, you know?
Anywho…out of no where, Sirius black, Remus’s good friend burst out into hysteric moans of “noooooooo!’s” Remus was jolted to reality, and raised an eyebrow at his friends…odd behavior.
“ermm…Sirius, whats- whats the matter…?” Remus asked cautiously. Turning to face Sirius who was collecting himself (he fell apart on the floor- he had to get his arms back into place) and then whined out
“I don’t want everything to be future-y and chrome! It’d be all: “let’s ride our hover bikes to the hover mall!” “Sirius wailed, pounding his fists on the coffee table in front of him. Remus glanced around, very confused, he turned to James who didn’t look flabbergasted in the slightest. Remus sent an eyebrow signal- one much like using Morse code (Remus’s eyebrows even made that bright little “beep beep” sound, it was cool) to James who shrugged and said in the most calmest and collected voice:
“Don’t worry ‘bout him, moony, he’s having a really intelligent conversation with some invisible cheese googers in his head- and we just hear bit’s and pieces of it. Nothing to worry about.” James shrugged, and turned back to his homework. This made Remus feel loads better. Cheese googers; fewh! No biggie there!
It was…odd, that the common room was so quiet that bright and blissful Sunday afternoon, people often stood, transfixed on the silence, for hours on end. All crazy-uncharacteristic silence remained, even when Remus noticed something absurd. He turned around. He thought he was the only on that noticed- but there was a 4th year Slytherin girl in the Gryffindor common room. Remus stood up and approached her.
“Er..miss…uh..miss…” he stammered, he had never seen this broad before. She was kinda cute.
“call me sunflower” she said silkily. “And when I’m bad” she continued, “rip a petal off” she grabbed the confused Remus into a headlock, it was instinct for him to piss on her, and wriggle out. She cursed at him
“THIS IS A NEW SKIRT!” She hissed pointing to the wet spot Remus had made. Remus blushed.
“well, it’s your fault! Whats a Slytherin doing in the Gryffindor common room? Huh? Huh? Riddle me that, batman!” Remus yelled, and then took one of his Prozac pills on reflex. The girl-sunflower (though I doubt that’s her real name, if so, we all know she must be a child of the 70’s) sighed and pulled him into a corner of the common room, so as not to be noticed.
“I need your help” she said at once. Remus was taken aback.
“you just pulled me into a head lock” said Remus, “what should I help you for?”
“I’ve got gum” she said. Remus looked doubtful.
“yeah, like some gum is gonna make me help you” He snorted.
”its watermelon flavored.” She said.
“I’m in!” said Remus, without a second thought. Sunflower smiled a true slytherin smile. “Good” she cooed.
“So, what do I have to do?” Asked Remus whilst smacking his gum annoyingly.
“Nothing much” shrugged Sunflower “just kill Sirius Black”
a/n: o0o0o0o! a stupid cliffie. Haha. Flame me not, I will update soon- ONLY IF YOU WANT ME TO. If you REVIEW I will know whether I should post, or leave this fic undone. So, R/R, and tell me what you think. Thanks!
~kayli