daft punk is playing at my house, my house.

[molotovmartinis]

WHO: New Year's Eve Demonic/Celestial Trollothon 2010 (tag in!)
WHAT: a hellish dinner party ( menu, for the lulz DON'T LAUGH AT ME I had fun looking all that shit up)
WHERE: the Counterweight building (the import center)
WHEN: backdated to New Year's Eve, 6:30 PM and onwards
WARNINGS: oh my god so much alcohol
SUMMARY: For the record, Balthazar

Comments

DINNER COURSES: SOUP, SORBET, MAIN, DESSERT

[molotovmartinis]

The long table that had been visible in the network post was in the next room, set all prim and formal with prettily patterned plates, twisty glasses, multiple utensils, and an overall air of austerity. It was looked upon by the wide dark painting, saints and common people clutching various body parts as they fell off/fell out/dangled uselessly.

[abrotherlikeyou]

Of course Lucifer felt the burn of the god-thing's eyes on her, and she found oddly that she didn't mind as much as she thought she would. Abomination though he undoubtedly was, his presence didn't offend her to the core or make her want to rip out throats the way most pagan gods did. It helped that he was very obviously from a world drastically different than her own, with no probable point of common reference. She hadn't even bothered trying to read him beyond the most cursory; it was useless for beings of sufficient power. What she did gather was the above information about being from far away, that he wasn't unique, and that there was something distinctly odd about him, even beyond normal celestial strangeness. But every being had their secrets, and if he didn't waste her time she wouldn't either trying to find out

[themadgod]

Sheogorath finally turned His attention away from Lucifer to the insects crawling out of the ornate goblet. He wondered if they would taste at all like the drink from which they emerged.

Experimentally, Sheogorath plucked one as it scrambled over the edge of the goblet and popped it in His mouth, chewing on it. Quite crunchy, a little wiggly, and tasting only faintly of feldew. Not as tasty as brain pie, particularly that made from learned mortals, but not bad either.

[abrotherlikeyou]

That made Lucifer laugh a little, and she looked over at the mad-god from across the table. She hadn't caught his name.

"Enjoying your locusts?"

[themadgod]

The question met a dismissive shrug as Sheogorath plucked another one to snack upon.

"Not enough brain to be very tasty, but pleasantly crunchy. It almost reminds Me of the sound mortals make when they fall to their death. Or maybe it doesn't. Hard to tell sometimes." Sheogorath remarked. He held the cup out to Lucifer. "Care to try one?"

[abrotherlikeyou]

What could the harm be? Lucifer took the cup from him with an unimpressed but slightly curious look.

...It was good. Good, but she felt an instant prickle at the base of her skull that told her very clearly that this substance's effect on human vessels was possibly dangerous.

Lucifer handed it back with a polite, "Hm. It's- it is good, but I'm not sure I could drink it regularly."

Nice and vapid. Another insect crawled out of his goblet- this one a very ugly bee. None of that fuzzy-wuzzy crap: this bee meant business. She rather hoped he'd eat it.

[themadgod]

"You could, and it would make your life a great deal more interesting," Sheogorath said, smiling. He teleported the bee to another guest's hair, not at all bothered by it.

A bee was about as much danger to Him as the average mortal. But it might be more amusing inflicted upon another.

/tags you everywhere like a boss

[painhumbles]

Gabriel rolled his eyes at her from his position across the table, gingerly wiping down one of the honey-coated forks with one of the only clean napkins at the table before digging into the only vinegar-free dessert at the table with a certain degree of nonchalance.

"You're kidding me, right?" He asked, through a mouthful of dessert. "Weak."

And he knew why she was limiting herself- hell, it was why he was limiting himself and why no one had been mauled by a bear or anything yet, but he took pride in the fact that while Lucifer taught him everything he knew, he gave those lessons flair. The student may never surpass the teacher, but at least he looked good doing it.

[abrotherlikeyou]

"Not kidding at all, brother."

By the way, Gabriel, Lucifer sincerely hoped you enjoyed your dessert. Because just on the tail end of the sweet smile she aimed your way, every bite of dessert (and every single food item on the table) will be so hot and spicy as to be excruciating. For herself, Lucifer was creating her own utensils from thin air and the rogue vinegar was hardly fazing her.

In the haze of buzzing flies and the distant sob of a cook in the kitchen, a bee flew by idly.

[painhumbles]

Gabriel cringed at the sudden onslaught of SPICY DEATH, hot enough to make him want to systematically punch every cajun fry cook in the bayou in the face, and opened one eye to glower at Lucifer.

Right. Fine. Time to play hardball.

He coughed and managed to wheeze out, "Lucy, y'know I love your work, but I think you're biting off a little more than you can chew." He snapped his fingers. On any other occasion, making your sibling choke on their meal was an act of murder, but angels didn't need to breathe, so really all it was... Was irritating.

And that's just the start. If he has to go through an entire idiom dictionary to make a point, he will damned well make that point.

[abrotherlikeyou]

The sudden choking was surprising, yeah, but Lucifer turned it to water in her throat, then collapsed it smoothly into nothingness all in the span of two seconds before looking back at him, thoroughly unimpressed. A few more bees had joined the flies buzzing around fussily, flying perhaps a little more erratically and getting a little more in people's faces than the flies.

"Gabriel," she began seriously. "That pun. If you ever do that again, I'll start cutting off your protruding parts and feed them to you."

She really hated puns.

[painhumbles]

Gabriel was just innocently spraying his throat down with something icy cool and refreshing to soothe the ache of the stupid spicy crap. He glanced over at her, giving her the most incredulous MOI? DO SOMETHING THAT TERRIBLE.

"I didn't find your weak spot, did I? I know, they're the lowest form of humor and I oughta be ashamed of myself, but, hey, whatever works..." He propped his elbows on the table and pursed his lips at her. "You sure you're getting enough to eat, Lucifer? You're looking kinda peckish."

As if on cue, a small flock of ravens appeared under the table and began pecking at her feet. He was going to hate himself tomorrow for this, but it was worth it if it made Lucifer lose her cool just out of sheer fury.

He swatted at one of the bees idly and then another. Damned bees. Maybe the birds would eat them or something.

[abrotherlikeyou]

Lucifer narrowed her eyes at him for a moment before her expression cleared and she just smiled placidly, calm as a Hindu cow. With that, each and every bird dissolved emerged from under the table as an enormous swarm of bees that immediately began to swarm and attack every guest at the table.

Africanized killer bees.

[painhumbles]

Gabriel ducked under the table instantly, effectively shielding himself- not that they would really do much more than irritate him. Pain wasn't anything he had a particular tolerance for and he sought to avoid it at all costs.

"Next time we do this, I'm making a no killer bees rule," he muttered and then added, "Are you just pulling things out of a hat?"

Because, really now, at least his tricks had been pretty good jokes, punny or otherwise. They served a purpose, anyway. He could have really brought down the hurt, but he didn't, because, unlike Lucifer, he didn't feel any particular need to hurt these people. It wasn't fun if they didn't deserve it and sure, some of them did, but he wasn't going to single them out for a game with his brother. He'd rather take them down when they were alone, tailoring the tricks to them, specifically

[molotovmartinis]

Sit at her right he did, a little amused, a little grim, and then a little amused at being a little grim. Once everyone was seated, the catering servers began to bring out the soup. The tiny part of Balthazar that might still, vaguely, be said to be human, determined after some struggle that most people would find it appetizing. He just stirred his.

"You know, technically I have several billion siblings, but I have yet to find one that I 'love' the way you two do each other." His tone suggested he was impressed by this. His tone was, of course, lying.

o shit

[abrotherlikeyou]

Lucifer paused with the spoon halfway to her mouth and put it down - really, she only tried it for the hell of it - so she could turn her head to face him. It was like watching someone move through water as she slowly drew her elbows up to fold her hands and rest her chin on them, giving him an appraising look that seemed to go through him.

"You know, Balthazar, that's very interesting. But I'm curious," she continued very quietly with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "What did I say that gave you the impression that you're allowed an opinion about my family?"

Her smile sparkled as brilliantly as the large shards of glass now pushing comfortably out from inside Balthazar's throat, breaking the skin like so many minuscule icebergs that glittered prettily against the rapidly darkening scarlet of his blood.